Massimo Restaurant and Oyster Bar,
Corinthia Hotel, 10 Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5AE
07/09/2013
She said: We tried coming here a few
weeks ago on a Sunday but alas it is not open on Sundays…So we returned on a
Saturday with our dining card 2-4-1 discount in hand. Massimo is a stunning,
palatial dining space. Imposing Corinthian columns, bold yet elegant lighting,
brown leather banquettes, crisp linen table cloths, shimmering bar, and a
golden hue throughout the room. I was excited to get stuck in to the menu. I
jumped straight into mains and after finding it difficult to choose from so
many delicious sounding options I picked a tagliolini with crab and chilli
which was perfectly cooked pasta with a juicy chilli oil and succulent crab
flakes. I was so impressed, wondering why the place was practically empty and
already planning a return. Although tight on time the dessert menu was too
tempting so I ordered the chocolate fondant and was assured it would take 15
minutes. 25 minutes later a very dry lump of sponge looked up at me from a
large plate and when I took a spoon to it hoping that the molten goodness would
flow out my heart sank as a tiny glue-like chocolate sat stuck to the crumbling
sponge. Clearly this was overcooked and I was sorely disappointed. The minor
consolation was 50% off the bill so we paid £42 for two courses and soft drinks
– not the best value if paying full price. Dining at Massimo was like dining in
two different restaurants – 10 out of 10 for the first half and a classy
experience, 0 out of 10 for the second half and I wish I had got a coffee and
cake at any one of the many nearby patisseries instead. Incidentally, customer
responsiveness could do with some work; when I informed the waiter the fondant
was overcooked and barely edible which was a shame given how good the mains
were, he didn’t know what to say – literally, he just stood there nodding as he
took payment. The friendly greeting we received on arrival was marked by any
acknowledgement whatsoever as we left our table and the restaurant to a hum of
silence.
He said: 99% of restaurants included in Discount Dining cards, like
Gourmet Society or Taste London, are chains or run-of-the-mill places. But it
pays to look hard at the membership list, because every so often a Destination
Restaurant slips in: the kind of place with that ‘wow’ factor, where you take
someone to celebrate, propose, or break-up (because it’s just too nice to make
a fuss in). Massimo is a hell of a good looking restaurant: cathedral-height
ceilings, huge windows, flash but still just the right side of classy. We were
on our way to see a show, so had time for a main and a desert. I opted for
‘organic barley penne with borrage and shaved ricotta because’: 1) what is
borrage? 2) you can shave ricotta? 3) why is this pasta dish so expensive yet
vegetarian? I’m none the wiser about the price: the ‘taste to price’ ratio was
all wrong. In the 50+ posts written to date I don’t think I dissed the food
very often – I generally give the kitchen the benefit of the doubt. But this
dish made no sense to me. It’s bland, health-freak type stuff – the kind of
dish loved by the likes of Moby, I imagine. So I decided to balance this out
with a blow-out, indulgent desert. ‘Mont Blanc Pavlova’, that will do it.
Doesn’t that just conjure up the best vision of a mountain of meringue,
floating on a giant cloud of cream, and scattered with red fruit symbolizing
the crushed bodies of fallen climbers? But no, instead my hopes were crushed,
when the saddest pavlova I have ever seen was plopped on the table. It’s like
Tommy being promised an Xbox by drunk Santa at the mall, but getting a book of
Sudoku Christmas morning. It took me a while to get over the disappointment; in
fact I ate the whole thing without actually tasting a single spoon. But you know
what: that room is so great, I would still go back, armed with a 2-for-1 card,
now that I know the menu is written by a fantasist. Stick to the tried and
tested and at that price you can’t go wrong.
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