Petersham Nurseries, Petersham Rd, Richmond, Surrey TW10 7AB

Petersham Nurseries, Petersham Rd, Richmond, Surrey TW10 7AB

www.petershamnurseries.com/

04/07/2015

She said: We were going to be in Richmond so sought out a good place to have my actual birthday with him. Petersham showed up on a google map and when I clicked it looked interesting. It’s not one that’s ever been on my radar but turns out it’s a (secret) gem. I really can’t express just what a paradise this was in almost every way. You wander down a little country lane past a film-set church and enter an actual nursery with lovely garden-related things for sale. At the centre of the nursery you enter a garden paradise in which a stunning dining room sits. The gods were smiling on us as the weather was just perfect and we spent a couple of hours convinced we were in a beautiful Tuscan villa courtyard enjoying the locally produced, freshest of ingredients. Though the menu is small, you will find something amazing for each course at Petersham. My ravioli and his peach salad (which I ‘helped’ him with were delicious; my fish main was heavenly; but my chocolate dessert was one of the best I can remember ever having – just amazig. Our candied rose petal prosecco was expcetional and I just didn’t want the experience to end. It’s not the cheapest of places at just over £60 a head for 3-courses including coffee and a cocktail but believe me, if you’re going to splash out anywhere – it must be here. And don’t worry – if the sun is not shining, there is a lovely glass covered dining space which is just as magical, though nothing will feel more like a diner’s paradise than if you can go on a sunny day. 11 out of 10 for this one. Heaven.

He said: Petersham Nurseries is one of those places that's so good, so much better than the average gastro scam, that you end up in a foodie moral quandary: to keep the secret to yourself or to proselytise? In this case you really don't need to worry about it; judging by how far in advance we had to book the cat bolted that bag a long time ago. The beau monde of Richmond has clutched this fine spot to its fair bosom, and quite rightly: Petersham is wonderful in every way. Getting there was for us, on our little put-put moped, quite an epic, but so worth it. You get a real thrill of discovery turning off the main road, parking up next to a beautiful little church, and walking down a gravel track parallel to the Thames just visible in the distance. And on a fine summer's day, sitting at one of the outdoors tables, with dappling sunlight poking through the trelice of vines there are very few places in London that can rival Petersham for the sheer sense of place. After such an auspicious start I was actually worried that it might all come crashing down. But the food was fantastic: British but cooked with an Italian spirit: with  simplicity and showcasing few, great ingredients, many grown on the spot, without drowning them needlessly in heavy sauces, or showy technique.  I can't wait to go back, even in bad weather when, instead, you sit in the greenhouse. There's no doubt that when this year ends Petersham will be very high up my list of favourites for 2015 - quite likely at the very top. Go!

Rabot 1765, 2 - 4 Bedale Street, Borough Market, London SE1 9AL

Rabot 1765, 2 - 4 Bedale Street, Borough Market, London SE1 9AL

www.hotelchocolat.com/uk/restaurants/rabot-1745

30/05/2015

She said: A restaurant dedicated to chcolate. Come on – how have I not been here until now. Occupying a prominent spot by Borough Market, Rabot 1765 is the cocoa-themed restaurant of Hotel Chocolate. Though the word ‘theme’ conjures up peple in fancy dress shaking cocoa-filled maracas, Rabot is a classy joint, above the chocolate shop, with each dish having a subtle cocoa influence. The indoor space has a industrial feel but the place to be is the outdoor terrace overlooking the hustle and bustle of the market; and overhead heaters and blankets are provided for the cold-blooded amongst us. The menu was extensive and inviting. I kicked off with a praline cocktail which was like a liquid, alcoholic pudding, yum. My starter pear and goats cheese with nib infused cocoa balsamic was perfect. My market fish with Jerusalem artichokes was just okay; the fish was a bit dry and I realised I actually don’t like Jerusalem artichokes especially in bulk (usually you get a pretty display of a scattering but here is sat like a pound of mash on the side of the fish. ‘Never mind’ I thought, dessert will be the killer highlight. I ordered the ‘Bafta’ salted caramel dessert. This was so underwhelming it actually made me sad. It was a sort of congealed icky caramel lump sandwiched in an impossible to cut shortbread with a spoonful of chocolate mousse thrown on top. The mousse was good but the rest, sigh, such a shame. And really, the pudding summed up what was missing from Rabot. This is a chocolate influenced restaurant; it will attract people that like, err, chocolate. So Rabot really needs to up the chocolate/cocoa influence and be more bold. Screw subtle. The biggest shock was the bill at £106 for a 3 course lunch, one cocktail and a beer. This was no Michelin or celebrity spot and though I heard a while ago that cocoa prices were on the rise – a few nibs and droplets surely doesn’t warrant such an extortinate lunch. Shame as I really like the idea of Rabot and there was lots of good things about it – but I would only return for a set lunch menu which I believe they offer during the week and I would pick my dishes more carefully. I also should add, I spent the next 90 minutes feeling rather sick (literally had to stop myself from hurling) – that could have been due to overeating or something else..The evidence was inconclusive.

He said: 'wasted potential' is the first thing that springs to mind when I think of Rabot. The location in Borough market is great, both as a venue and for access to good produce, and the idea of using chocolate in all the dishes is actually a good one, in the right hands. Except here the concept never gets beyond gimmickry, which is what anyone with an average level of cynicism might guess before going. Every now and then things work out when you take a chance, just not this time. It wasn't bad, just nothing special. The terrace overlooking the market is a nice space, but skip the restaurant upstairs (or lower your expectations), and just stick to the chocolate shop downstairs.

Skylon, Royal Festival Hall, London SE1 8XX

Skylon, Royal Festival Hall, London SE1 8XX
www.skylon-restaurant.co.uk

08/03/2015

She said: After looking at a rocket atop the Hayward we were hungry so I suggested Skylon. He agreed but I knew he had never been keen on this one but by the gods did I come out of this one the ultimate food pleasure finding queen of queens. From the moment we arrived Skylon was exceptional. The setting, elegant, grand yet intimate. The service, pleasant, attentive and generous. The food flawlessly magnificent. I was already planning a return by the second course. My fig and shallot starter was heavenly; the halibut with mushrooms juicy without being over-seasoned; the peanut butter brownie divine. As they didn’t have a table by the window, they gave us complimentary Proseco to make up for it. The coffee came with beautiful, delicious petit fours. They even brought the dessert exactly at the same time as the coffee as requested. Faultless. At £32 for three courses not including drinks, Skylon is at the higher end of the scale for a set lunch but believe me when I say it is SO worth it. This place is a wonderful occasion restaurant but also just somewhere to spoil yourself when you just want a delicious meal in a setting that will take you away from all your troubles.

He said: one of the few things I remember from school that doesn't involve clique politics or the usual mischief, is that one of the main causes of the French Revolution was the rising tide of expectation. The middling classes had been promised for so long that things would get better that they came to expect it, and believed that the time had come to go and get it. So it was, dear reader, with Skylon, except the opposite. When it first opened a few years ago I heard some pretty bad things about Skylon. So when we decided on impulse to go lunch there, I had zero expectations. As it turned out this made this surprisingly good experience stand out even more. The first thing that strikes you is the uncommonly large, triple height space, with one long side all glass overlooking the murky Thames. We were seated at a nicely appointed table (draped with a white cloth, a novelty these days!). Still I went up to the maitre d’, with little hope for success, to ask for a table by the window. Fat chance, obviously. I don't think my face reflected crushing disappointment, that’s just how I look. But still the maitre d’ felt bad go have ‘let us down’ and sent a couple of flutes of prosecco. This really characterised the whole experience at Skylon: the obviously attentive cooking and plating matched by top notch service, attentive but with a light touch and never in your face. Skylon even passed the ultimate test: desert and coffee, as requested, arrived precisely at the same time, a feat accomplished by one restaurant a year (at best). 

Portland, 113 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6QG

Portland, 113 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6QG
www.portlandrestaurant.co.uk
21/02/2015
She said: Damn, the critics were gushing about this place before it hit our radar so I was dubious as to whether the hype would match reality. It did. Portland looks unassuming from the outside, opposite a pub and alongside the strange mix of retail on this Fitzrovia side street. When we entered the warm, but cosy, galley, blonde-wood interior with its tables lined up to maximise the space and an open kitchen at the end, I was just hoping it would deliver. The lunch menu was interesting but for some reason none of the starters appealed – they really did sound creative so I’m not sure why, but I skipped straight to main with a miso barley dish. I cannot express just how magical this dish was; heaven with every spoon. I would go back tomorrow just for this wonder. I actually liked the intimacy of the space as I do like listening in to other diners’ conversations, like the middle-aged man showing off to his elderly mother at the table two inches from us. Though I doubt the table on the other side of us liked me brushing their plates with my rear when I tried to pass to visit the ladies. The only jarring gripe was the loud, never ending phone with a ring tone you would expect in a busy Pizza Hut which was a constant mood killer – that needs to go. But back to the food. I caved in to the critics who had banged on about the dark chocolate dessert; though a small portion (I could have had twice the amount) it was again like eating a very chocolatey cloud then ended heaven. So, regular heavenly visits with the food at Portland. Surely a price worth paying (and you do pay – with two courses for two people and no alcohol at £60).

He said: I knew exactly nothing about Portland before walking through the door. But walking out of it, one fine meal later, I knew for sure that we'd been to one of the finalists on our eventual ‘Best of 2015’ list. The first impression is excellent: the place is done up in a stylish but unassuming ModernScandi style, giving a clear view of the open kitchen at the back. It exudes a ‘serious about food’ vibe while avoiding the food fascist and food fadist trap – no sous vide snail porridge here. Portland is all about seasonal fare and rock solid technique. The cod I ordered was the best fish I’d had since The Corinthian (see below) probably about two years ago. A side of roast cauliflower was perfect, as was my slim but spot on wedge of sugar tart for desert. Everything unfolded totally seamlessly. I'm glad this is local; this is definitely the kind of place you want to survive, unlike a lot of trendy openings. Prices are on the steep side, and the narrow space between tables won't be to everyone’s liking, but it's forgivable, and maybe even desirable for a neighbourhood restaurant: you might just be sat next to someone you always see in the baked beans aisle  at Tesco’s. I would definitely like to go back. The kitchen is pretty small considering all the magic coming out of it, and it would be interesting to see how they manage all these closely packed tables at full swing on a Saturday night.

Pachamama, 18 Thayer Street, London W1U 3JY

Pachamama, 18 Thayer Street, London W1U 3JY
www.pachamamalondon.com

26/10/2014

She said: Another new Peruvian, this time just down the road. Pachamama is easy to miss with its tiny door along the forgotten end of Marylebone High Street but as you walk down the narrow stairs you enter a vast underground series of dining spaces with a warm, homely vibe. I’ll say upfront, Pachamama is not cheap. In fact, prices are high (but not high enough to call stupid), portions are small (but again just enough to avoid being called stingy) but the saviour is the flavour – delicious. Everything tasted divine. The cocktails yummy, the ceviche fresh with mouth-watering zing, warm dishes like plantain melt with every spoonful. I wish the run of excellent Peruvian restaurant launches in London were just a bit more reasonably priced to allow for regular dining but for a night out after pay-day, this place is worth it.

He said: as far as the quality of food goes this is probably the best of the many Peruvian restaurants we tried. The food was really great: subtle flavour combinations and great presentation, but I just wish that there was much more of it. The twist here is that though Peruvian, the dishes have been tweaked to include locally fished and farmed ingredients. We went during the soft launch and got everything half price otherwise we easily would have spent £70 each, and been left wanting more. When you add to this that the basement space itself, though nice, lacks that wow factor you're not left with much to justify the price. Pachamama is really all about the food; which might be fine for die-hard foodies, but others, me included, might like some razzed dazzle for the price. I loved the food here, but will probably only go back if someone else is paying.

Quaglino’s, 16 Bury Street St James's, London SW1Y 6AJ

Quaglino’s, 16 Bury Street St James's, London SW1Y 6AJ 

www.quaglinos-restaurant.co.uk
13/10/2014

She said: I remember coming here maybe 15 years ago and really enjoying the experience so when he noticed a re-launch I quickly made a booking. Too much time has passed to compare with the previous experience but Quaglino’s post-make-over is equally impressive with its vast dining space approached via a sweeping art deco staircase. The whole space feels very plush and special without being fussy. There’s a stage at the front of the dining room which apparently hosts live bands and a dance space and I love the seating around the edges of the room with a shimmering bar in the centre. The upstairs bar is also a great space for a cocktail and people watching. I went all out with three courses, starting with a delicious smoked salmon accompanied by a horseradish sauce, capers and onions. This was followed by a perfectly cooked cod and complimented by the glazed red cabbage. It was worth squeezing in the desert which was a heavenly chocolate marquise, amongst the best ever. Prices are fine for Mayfair and I would definitely recommend Quaglino’s for special occasions. The atmosphere-food combo did not disappoint. Another great joint to come back to.

He said: The 80s are back! That old stalwart of bygone excess has had a spiffing up and got some of its mojo back. In contrast with the sleepy streets of its clubby St James's neighbourhood you can't help but feel like the coolest cat walking down Quag's fabled staircase and into the vast and glamorous Gotham Deco styled dining room. There's a buzzy bar area, and also a cabaret/dance space at the front to help crank up the fun a few more notches on Thursdays to Saturdays. All excellent for people watching and for being seen. The food is modern British/European and well executed, although the portions are a little on the small side, reminding you that there is probably someone at the back weighing out each scrap of fish, and that this is a business and not all about fun. St James's has had a mini revival on the food front lately, and the new Quag is a fun, let you hair down alternative to delicious but slightly boring Murano and Boulestin.

The Colony, Beaumont Hotel, 8 Balderton Street, London W1K 6TF

The Colony, Beaumont Hotel, 8 Balderton Street, London W1K 6TF
www.colonygrillroom.com

27/09/2014

She said: A brand new hotel opening on our doorstep with a restaurant from the folk who operate the Brasserie Zedel, so we had to have a try. The Colony can’t be missed with its central location almost immediately on entering through the art deco doors of The Beaumont. As I walked through the American Bar into the restaurant I was encouraged by the dark wood walls and red banquettes with photos and artwork working hard to create that jazz age era. This would have worked really well if some jazz had been playing but the absence of any sort of music left a slight emptiness in the atmosphere. I should confess, we were visiting on the last day of the soft launch so drills were still in the background no doubt dealing with last-minute snagging and waiters weren’t allowed to flambe at the table until the various regulatory requirements had been met. The service was clearly in the test phase with friendly French staff keen to help but sometimes having to double check what certain things on the menu were. Nevertheless, service was welcoming and professional. The menu offers a range of British-American dishes, nothing exceptional but all fine for such an establishment. Prices are on the high side for what you get. I ordered a kedgeree which was unlike any I’ve had before but in a positive sense. It had a strong curry flavour to it which worked for me though the portion could have been a little more generous. I hit jackpot ordering the chocolate marquise for dessert which was outstanding. Certainly can’t complaint about portion size here – a huge square of gianduja with a nutty ice cream. The tea came in a beautiful art deco silver pot which easily carried four cups so it seems it’s just the main dishes that are more carefully portioned out. I was actually enjoying my time at the Colony until he pointed out it felt dead. I normally leave it to him to say what he thought but once he pointed it out, I did sense something wasn’t working. The space had a slight old man feel to it (I think it’s going for the old school gentleman’s club vibe). I still think a bit of Nina Simone would have solved that concern. Still, given the price versus what you get and where you are, there are better options in town.

He said: On the day that we went I can’t say that I found much to get excited about by Colony. It’s, in effect, glorified diner food, or Classic American, if you’re feeling generous, and served in a grand-ish deco space. I don’t get it; who is this for? Is this a socially-acceptable alternative to McDonald’s for timid or home-sick American package holiday makers who can’t deal with jellied eels and other ‘authentic’ British delicacies? The silver-haired diners filling the room when we went definitely suggest people looking for comfort food; but maybe that’s the demographic to expect at brunch. It was lacking any buzz, and feeling awkward, like the jarring combination of food and setting. We went during soft-launch, which took the edge off; I would have been in a foul mood had I paid full price for my mac & cheese, mushroom & spinach hash, and baked Alaska. Still, given the location and the august backers, I’m sure Colony will fill up with Bright Young Things convinced that they are at the epicentre of gilded and ironic cool.

Sketch, Lecture Room, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

Sketch, Lecture Room, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

www.sketch.uk.com

12/08/2014

She said: I had good news and wanted a special place to share and celebrate this good thing. Sketch Lecture Room had been on my radar for a while but his aversion to Sketch, which he thought was pretentious had kept it at bay. However, following his recent conversion after our afternoon tea in Sketch Gallery, and despite his initial push towards another destination, he suddenly favoured the two Michelin Star Lecture Room. In short, I was blown away. Let start with the room: pure luxury at every turn. Rich autumnal colours, velvety sheen, stunning glass dome letting in sunlight which threw further magic across the room. Just exquisite. It could be so easy in such a place for the service to be affected but it was quite the opposite; friendly, attentive and delivered in a way that made you feel so very special. The food the piece de la resistance. No write-up can do it justice – and we were ‘just’ having the Gourmet Rapide: three courses for £40 including coffee and petits fours. The food presentation was a work of art and the substance delicious if a bit petit (but that meant room for all the different bits we were presented with). I liked the recommendations of which order to have various bits of the starters in (they were presented in a set of three) and all the amuse bouche and fresh bread with citrus butter. I loved that when they brought me my sparkling apple juice, they presented the bottle to me like a rare vintage as I nodded politely. The three different desserts were equally appetising and the petit fours original (though I did miss that old crowd pleaser: chocolate). By the time we left the place was almost full. Sketch Lecture Room is a special place. A complete experience.

He said: The Lecture Room is the only place I can remember going to where the 12.5% service charge seems like an absolute bargain. From the second you arrive to the second you leave you feel like a prince, with a battalion of foot soldiers drilled to perfection to make you feel like you’re gliding through the clouds on your magic carpet. And they’re all French! If you ever wondered, on holidays, why the French are such bastards it’s because all the good ones also couldn’t take it there and moved to London instead, most of them working at The Lecture Room. And you can see why: the building is a pretty special place, very French, in its goofy, surreal maxiness; this is what I imagine the restaurant in Michel Gondry’s head looks like. The Lecture room is the more traditional of all the various spaces in this giant eating emporium (the biggest in London?) –more of the neoclassical vibe of the building comes through, but it’s still got some wild touches, like the very Goth bathroom. The tables are very widely spaced, which is good for your plutocratic self-image but also for the champagne trolley (!) to be wheeled-in moments after you sit down. We opted for the mini tasting menu, which meant 8 or so small plates, more than I can remember, but all very visually pleasing and tasty. This is definitely food which has been handled in the kitchen, literally; if this is one of your phobias (my jury is still out on this one) then you might be visualizing germs everywhere, which will impede your ability to appreciate how nice it all looks on the plate. The Lecture Room is a great place for a long, indulgent lunch or dinner. Another pleasant surprise from Sketch!

Kurobuta, 17-20 Kendal Street, London W2 2AW

Kurobuta, 17-20 Kendal Street, London W2 2AW

10/08/2014

www.kurobuta-london.com

She said: A new local to try. We hadn’t gone immediately as the media hype had put me off. Why are the media so maniacal when it comes to finding the latest hip place? It creates a run of trendies to what would otherwise be a lovely neighbourhood spot to have good, innovative food in a local setting. We went during the day to avoid the herd and I was surprised to find a lovely, open contemporary space with fresh cakes sitting on the counter. Mmm, a possible future cake spot I thought. The menu offers a good range of small Japanese/Asian dishes (yes it’s another sharing concept place) but prices are high for what you get. That said, what you get is very, very good. For example, we had a Tuna Sashimi pizza which was amazing but the size of a coaster with a £10 price tag. The Miso grilled Aubergine was outstanding and the Pumpkin Tempura tasty (if salty). The bill came to almost £60 for just four small sharing plates and a cocktail for him. We also took two cakes away at a more reasonable price, with my Yuzu meringue being extremely good. So Kurobuta is a bit of a dilemma; great space and interesting menu but prices a bit silly. I guess that’s why it’s for the trendies rather that for the neighbours in its very neighbourhood setting.

He said: Kurobuta is a really interesting place serving wonderful food prepared with a degree of meticulousness in total contrast with the self-consciously low-fi, hang-out-with-your-mates setting. You can almost hear the chef ruminating: ‘my cooking kicks Michelin in his big, rubbery ass, but I’m not playing the Michelin game’. So cue the alt-rock soundtrack, uncomfortable benches, dishes that come out whenever it suits the kitchen, and Soundgarden posters. I suppose I respect Chef Miyagi for that; I can dig a slacker with skills. And the skills are in full show when the plates start coming out. There’s a whole bunch of dishes here that you couldn’t and wouldn’t get anywhere else: everyone’s surprise hit, carnivores included, is the aubergine in miso, and the sashimi ‘pizza’ is also great, as is the mushroom stew. On a repeat visit later that week I tried the scallops which were killer too. I suppose that Kurobuta is objectively expensive, there’s no way around that, but throw in so many uniquely pleasing dishes, clearly made with the best of everything, and you’ll be walking out thinking ‘good value’ instead. I like.  

The Mirabelle, Grand Hotel, King Edward’s Parade, Eastbourne, BN21 4EQ

The Mirabelle, Grand Hotel, King Edward’s Parade, Eastbourne, BN21 4EQ

02/08/2014

www.grandeastbourne.com/eastbourne-restaurants

She said: Heaven. A real surprise of a gem. We were in Easbourne marching along the South Downs Way for our wedding anniversary (incidentally stunning) and I thought the classic Grand Hotel would be a good place to end our outdoor escapade in style and to toast to making it another year in this fickle world. I believe I outdid myself, even if I say so myself. The approach to the Victorian Grand Hotel is magnificent and has apparently welcomed the likes of Chaplin and Churchill. After changing in the loos from my hiking clothes to a pretty little frock hidden in my backpack, I met him in the beautiful, intimate, old-world dining room that is Mirabelle. From the website photos I was worried it might be a bit OAP but my concerns were unfounded. The second I was seated an aura of calm luxury took over as a pianist tinkered lovely standards in the background. Mirabelle is no doubt an occasion restaurant; two cakes accompanied by singing waiters made an appearance during our stint here, and you can see why. Service, setting and food were outstanding. I cannot find fault with anything. How often can you say that? The salmon starter, wow, the risotto compulsive and the chocolate fondant out-of-this world AND they brought the tea with the dessert as requested. When I wanted an espresso martini, they brought it from the hotel bar – and not a stingy little glass I’ve had in so many an establishment but proper size. I didn’t want to leave and was wishing I had booked a room for the night to allow for more of the same. I’m already trying to think of an excuse to return to Eastbourne; somewhere that wasn’t even on my map until now.

He said: When you live in London it’s easy to think that it’s the only place to eat, and that everyone outside the North Circular is still feasting on Wimpy Burgers and pickled eggs. This is why it never occurred to me that the food might actually be really good at Mirabelle. After hiking for a few hours to get to Eastbourne I was sufficiently famished that even a pickled egg might have tasted good. But Mirabelle really delivered a very good lunch; and I mean very good by any standard, not just by country bumpkin standard. The Grand was around the century before last, before EasyJet, when people holidayed in Britain, and when the likes of Lewis Carroll would decamp to Eastbourne for the summer. The old-school service might have always appealed more to the older crowd. But old people do know a thing or two about what’s good and protecting that in the face of ever-changing fads. In over a hundred years of serving fussy old fogies Mirabelle clearly learned what works. Most impressive of all Mirabelle managed, as requested, to bring coffee at precisely the same time as desert; I can count on one hand the number of restaurants that have managed to maintain that kind of focus all the way through. You should definitely check out Mirabelle if you’re every down there.

Typing Room, Patriot Square, London E2 9NF

Typing Room, Patriot Square, London E2 9NF
www.typingroom.com

12/07/2014

She said: As has already been established, he’s a fan of Atherton so for his birthday lunch I picked Typing Room, a British contemporary restaurant from a former Atherton helmsman. Housed in the former Bethnal Green Town Hall and now a boutique hotel, the Typing Room is a clean, modern space which is nothing much to write home about in terms of setting. We liked the look of the set menu but there was no vegetarian OR fish option which is surprising in this age (even meat eaters have their off-meat days). However, the waiter checked with the chef when we asked about this and he was good enough to offer us a main from the a la cate menu in place of the set main options. I have to say, when all is said and done, the food was perfection. Pretty, yes small portions that goes with good looking food these days but amazing and original flavours. I loved the amuse bouche of a pesto filled profiterole and the fresh, warm bread that came with a delicious marmite spread! I found the cocktail list limited but otherwise the Typing Room lives up to its hype. Yum.

He said: There are still some continentals out there that throw around the old clichés about British cooking. Just like there are still people out there that think the moon landing is a hoax. There’s really no point engaging with that kind of crap, certainly not the moon loonies, but to the sarky continentals I say just go to Atherton-Doppelganger The Typing Room, or any of Atherton’s places, or Dabbous, and so on; and that’s just for the modern British stuff, don’t even get me started on all the British people from other origins cooking up a storm here. You’d be forgiven for thinking this was an Atherton place (it isn’t): Typing Room does that same to-the-minute hyper-seasonal British cooking, similar beautiful presentation, and same focus on making everything on the plate really count and taste like itself. I’m pretty sensitive to portion size, being Mr Greedy Chops, and your first impression is that the plates might be for the petite ladies but, strangely, I actually walked away feeling just right; I think my brain got tricked because everything just tasted so much bigger. This is definitely a good place; my only gripe with it is that it’s so damned far east, you really have to want to go there. Which you should.

Coworth Park, Blacknest Rd, Ascot, Berkshire SL5 7SE

Coworth Park, Blacknest Rd, Ascot, Berkshire SL5 7SE
www.dorchestercollection.com/en/ascot/coworth-park

04/07/2014

She said: He whisked me away for a birthday weekend at this heavenly Dorchester Collection country house. After a day of pampering we were seated in the elegant restaurant at which point he asked if we could move to a table by the window overlooking the grounds (rather than he face a wall), to which they obliged. The atmosphere was clearly one of ‘get-away-from-it-all’ indulgence and the menu offered a wide choice of British fare. I kicked off with a delicious cocktail. The service was friendly and attentive and the food was what I would call reliable: nicely presented, tasty but not wow. I think we would have left with a pleasant, happy stomach if it wasn’t for the endless wait for pudding. It must have been at least 30 minutes and we knew something was remiss when instead of dessert a little scoop of granita masquerading as a chef’s compliments was brought to us which neither of us ate while he chased up puddings. We were offered more alcohol by way of an apology which was a nice enough gesture but which neither of us wanted but were brought anyway. The highlight, despite not having room, was the petit fours which included a heavenly lavender chocolate. I would like to have been presented the selection to enjoy rather than asked to select from a tray without any idea of whether I could have two or ten but nevertheless these were damn good chocolates.

He said: I guess that unless you lived out near there you wouldn’t necessarily go out to Coworth Park for a meal. But you should. Number one it’s set in really nice grounds, number two it’s right next door to national treasure Windsor Great Park, number three it’s a Dorchester gig, so you know that corners will not be cut to deliver the very best. This place ain’t cheap, and there is no one that complains more than a rich person, and no business wants to listen to people complain all day, so the heavy artillery will come out to blow the punters away. We actually ate in two places there: in the restaurant, which was serving an all British menu in a quietly opulent setting. I liked everything, especially the camp French maitre d’; it’s a shame that they stumbled at the last hurdle with a lost desert ticket, but they made up for it, and it gave us more time to chat and enjoy the view over the lawn. We also had a lunch at The Barn, the more informal restaurant that’s rustic in a Belgravia kind of way. I had a caponata there, washed down with a glass of Pimms, out on the terrace overlooking the fields, with the sun beating down from a clear blue sky. There’s no way that meal was going to suck! I’ll definitely be back, hopefully after a nice long hike or ride around Windsor Great Park.

Sketch, Gallery, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

Sketch, Gallery, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG
24/05/2014
www.sketch.uk.com

She said: I’ve been wanting to try the afternoon tea here for ages but he was principled about afternoon tea meaning you get repeat refills of food and drink. I got him on a good day and booked tea for two at £34 per person (with no refills). The booking was for 90 minutes! On arrival we were given a choice of space between the Glade room, an intimate beautiful, blue-hued saloon-like room or the Martin Creed Gallery which was a vast, colourful bric-a-brac space with mismatched furniture and crockery; we opted for the latter. Service was swift, attentive but friendly. There’s so much to say about afternoon tea at Sketch but in short – it was the best afternoon tea experience I’ve had. Everything was presented just exquisitely and the food was more than enough that if refills had been available it would have been difficult to have any more. The sandwiches were a creative mix including a toasted cheese and pesto which was just delicious, salmon on a tasty flatbread and egg mayonnaise. Normally at afternoon teas, the cakes can be a mixed bag – usually for me too much mousse, biscuit and sponge but not at Sketch. We were offered an amazing mix of beautiful pastries every single one a delicious and different experience from coffee éclair to pistachio macaroon, lemon meringue to opera cake; even the scones which I am not a fan off, were warm and juicy with a fig jam. Although Sketch does not provide refills of different teas, you can get another warm pot of what you were having when it gets cold. However I would say that given my point about being so full with what they offer, and the price, I doubt it would really impact Sketch to offer the true traditional tea which does include full refills; this would most likely end up being goodwill but make Sketch the absolute leader in afternoon teas in the world. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to add another 30 minutes to their table time as I could feel the staff gently clearing up and moving us on as we edged towards our 90 minutes…That said, it was still a damn good experience. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the famous Sketch loos: individual pods with their own non-musical soundtrack in a pure white loft of a space – unique!

He said: What I like most about Tea at Sketch is the wonderful contrast between the very hip setting, and the very twee, middle England ritual of mini sandwiches and gallons of tea. It’s like Dazed & Confused meets Country Life: total mind blend! But Sketch pulls it off, because the kitchen really put a lot of thought into making what’s on the plate as creative as what’s on the wall. When She would suggest Tea at Sketch, over and over, I always shrugged it off, thinking that it was just another cynical scheme devised by Sketch to squeeze more margin out of its location. I confess I got it wrong. For me Tea is best in the caf of some remote National Trust country house, after a bracing walk through Capability Brown type landscape on a soggy English summer’s day. But in London I rate Sketch as joint tie with Savoy for best Tea. They’re at opposite ends of the scale conceptually (v. trad vs v. hip) but equally matched when it comes to delivery. I’m definitely adding Tea at Sketch to my list of ‘Cool Britannia’ things to do with visitors from remote lands. 

Marani, 54 Curzon Street, London W1J 8PG

Marani, 54 Curzon Street, London W1J 8PG

26/04/2014

www.maranilondon.co.uk

She said: He loves Georgian food. I think we’ve been to every Georgian in London so when Marani opened a short walk from us we didn’t waste any time. This is the first ‘posh’ Georgian we’ve visited. I’ll get price out of the way up front: Marani is not cheap. It’s clearly geared to the Mayfair set or a special occasion/client account dining, although there is a set price lunch menu. But I loved it. Every bit. There are two dining rooms: a homely ground floor with contemporary décor mixed with beautiful Georgian artwork; and a first floor classic, more formal dining room with gorgeous original features and a chandelier made from decanters. As soon as we arrived, the service was friendly and attentive. As he has spent time in Georgia many moons ago, I enjoyed his nostalgic ordering and eating! It was difficult deciding what to order from such a great choice of a la carte dishes and everything we chose tasted fresh and delicious. This included salmon in a juicy plum sauce with creamy chestnuts and comforting lobio which melted in the mouth. Even the cocktails were amazing. While we were eating, we chatted to a couple a few tables away who turned out to be the owners. They were wonderful hosts and even sent us complimentary drinks so that we could try a local favourite, which again was amazing. The staff showed us around the place and every second of the experience was just perfect. We will definitely return – it’s just too good not to.

He said: when I heard that a new Georgian had opened in Mayfair I half expected that it would be some tacky, overpriced monstrosity designed to fleece local oiligarchs.  How nice to be proved wrong [again, she might say]! The design is a really effective, young and contemporary twist on traditional Georgia. Same for the cocktail list which remixes the usual list with Georgian ingredients, like the local moonshine ‘cha cha’. The menu was pleasingly extensive, listing a number of different regional specialties, and so evocative that it was genuinely difficult making a choice. And it’s when the food hits the table that Marani’s USP shines through: Georgian cooking uses a lot of strong aromatics, like fenugreek, and rich flavours like walnut, or plum, and it’s a tricky thing to balance everything just right for a western palate. Some restaurants, like Colchis, chicken-out by producing a fusion of Georgian and European. But the kitchen at Marani has clearly put a lot of thought into each dish, tweaking the levels so that the nature and quality of each ingredient is allowed to shine in genuine Georgian classics. In some cases I might have liked a little more intensity, like with the bean dish lobio, or the adjika a fiery condiment like a hot chutney designed to set the roof on fire, whereas Marani’s isn’t quite hot enough. But that’s personal taste and I still loved every last bite. Some dishes may seem expensive on their own, like khacha puri or lobio which are essentially side dishes but priced like mains. But it evens-out, mostly, if you order Georgian style, with everything to share. Marani is not cheap, but definitely worth it. I’m looking forward to going back again and again and working my way through the menu.

Chiltern Firehouse, Chiltern Street, London W1U 7PA

Chiltern Firehouse, Chiltern Street, London W1U 7PA

14/04/2014

http://www.chilternfirehouse.com/

She said: You can’t open a magazine without Chiltern Firehouse being raved about. When our old Fire brigade was turned into ‘the place to be’ and every celebrity seemed to have passed through in its first week, I was apprehensive about booking this latest local addition. But for the greater good of Adventures in Scoffing I called, booked the first table available (a month away), put on a pretty frock and heels and walked down the road and into this now unrecognisable, gorgeous building. I was expecting pretension, affected service and food, being given the ‘oh, you’re nobody’ table and feeling like a spectator at someone else’s party. So I was delighted and elated to find that from the moment I booked to bidding the uniformed doorman good night, Chiltern Firehouse was absolutely lovely. Service was friendly, efficient and professional. The food was original, good portions and reasonably priced for such a joint (£100 for two including drinks). The table we were given was a good one, at the heart of the main eating area, with cosy cushioned corner seating. The room itself was interesting. For me, the rustic-cum-industrial feel didn’t quite do it in the glamour stakes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bright, smart, comfortable room and I love that it avoids the deafening chatter that so many spaces generate whilst still being buzzy but the ceiling looked like exposed insulation and it had a refurbished stable feel. But that’s probably just me. More importantly  the food. All the reviews go on about the crab donuts; the praise is well deserved. My mushroom and courgette risotto was a deep, electrifying green and just amazing. The dark chocolate tart to die for. I even chose well in the cocktail department with a sweet, citrus martini. Yes there were a few ‘names’ dining but all very understated and looking around, it was nice to see a mix of people enjoying a Monday night out. I did ponder why I had not seen any of these faces in my neighbourhood and how many were destination diners versus locals. But looking forward to coming back when the weather warms up to enjoy the stunning outdoor, enclosed terrace.

He said: Objectively there is nothing to dislike about the Firehouse, starting with the nicest bouncer imaginable and finishing with a very reasonable bill given, the quality and the location. To pick-off a few negatives [since there’s plenty of gushing praise out there anyways] the bar area is a little cramped, and the entrance into the dining room is an awkward dog-leg leaving you unsure whether to turn right or left. Otherwise it’s pretty much all good. The handsome design cleverly hints at the building’s past (ceiling detail made of chopped-up firehose, etc.) and makes the room feel open, like an extension of the fantastic outside terrace which will definitely be the place for sundowners this summer. And there’s a whole variety of tables to suit every need and personality quirk, including a long counter along the open kitchen for the Masterchef fanatics, and a row of actual tables overlooking the magic a little distance away for the more sensible foodies [where I will book next] who want the buzz of the kitchen but also to talk to each other. The food is faultless, as you’d expect of top perro Nuno Mendes, ditto the cocktails, and the service is very efficient without being hurried: no-one was nudging us to turn-over the table at the end. So why did I leave silently ruminating, as if solving quadratic equations in my head? I’ve never been to a restaurant before where I so clearly got the vibe that this was the place to be; everyone there obviously knew it too. Firehouse is a spit away from where I’ve lived for 10 years, but it’s so slick, and the hipness so palpable that I felt thousands of miles away: it felt much more powerhouse L.A. than laid-back Marylebone. But that shouldn’t stop you booking: this place is great. 

Gymkhana, 42 Albermale Street, London W1S 4JH

Gymkhana, 42 Albermale Street, London W1S 4JH

01/02/2014

www.gymkhanalondon.com

She said: Every magazine seems to have been banging on about this place. I tried booking a few days ahead a number of times in the past few months but it was always full. So I was surprised when they had a table after he called on the off-chance, 30-minutes before we were hungry. He had been much more keen than I to try out Gymkhana as I have never been able to justify paying excessive prices for Indian food offered as a morsel of what I have enjoyed in ‘normal’ Indian restaurants in London and other parts of the world. But lets move on and see what the fuss is about. Sitting very gentlemanly on the posh Albermale Street inside what looks like a former pub, the entrance level of Gymkhana was lively and noisy with diners sitting in what had an upmarket café feel. The room was bright but forgettable. However, we were taken downstairs to a darkly lit tavern looking space with days-gone-by artwork covering the walls. We opted for a set lunch menu at £20 for two courses plus the Gol Guppas from the a la carte menu, which was indulgent and unnecessary but yummy. My set starter was a ‘Duck Egg Bhurji, Lobster’ which turned out to be a rather tasteless, thin omelette with the odd bit of lobster in it. As we were sharing everything, I helped myself to his massive starter of potato chat which was delicious. After a very long wait and one reminder, my main Goan Bream arrived; a good portion and very tasty – that’s more like it. I rinsed the whole meal down with a sweet lassi which again was perfect. The set lunch option is a good way to see what Gymkhana is about. For me, it falls into the group of aspirational Indian restaurants targeted at the wealthy western set that don’t want to get their hands dirty with real Indian food. The whole experience did take an unfortunate turn when I got home and spent the rest of the day in the bathroom ‘evicting’ every milligram of my lunch, and a lot more. As he and I shared everything and he was fine, I cannot say for sure that my bathroom confinement was the result of Mayfair’s raving addition but I will not be taking any chances by returning there ever again.

He said: I work not far from this place and walked in one day, soon after the builders moved out but sometime before the official opening. Seduced by the Anglo-Indian Raj clubhouse décor, I made a note to comeback. Unfortunately Gymkhana’s PR machine went into overdrive soon after, and it was quickly declared everyone’s favourite new opening with every table booked solid for weeks. Still, one Saturday lunch we took a punt on short notice and scored a table downstairs, which made me grumble silently at first but, it turns out, has a much nicer feel than the busy and already-slightly-shabby looking main room. The lunchtime set menu is excellent value at £27 for two courses and a glass of house punch. Having been to Gymkhana’s sister restaurant in Marylebone I was primed for portions that would leave even the most anorexic supermodel feeling slightly peckish. So I was shocked to find myself defeated by a starter of potato chat that certainly would’ve been enough for four. Mains was mushroom pilau which was as good and forgettable as this dish always is, but accompanied by excellent sides (incuded) of dal and palak paneer. It was excellent value given the quality of cooking and location, for lunch. Prices rocket for dinner, at which point Gymkhana becomes, just like every other ‘Fine Indian’ around,  a blatant con.

Chotto Matte, 11-13 Frith Street, London W1D 4RB

Chotto Matte, 11-13 Frith Street, London W1D 4RB

02/11/2013

www.chotto-matte.com/

She said: Not sure why but he seemed to be veering away from trying this Japanese-Peruvian in Soho but I would not have any of it. I was pleased with my resolve. Chotto Matte is an impressive space occupying a large corner in Soho. There is a trendy downstairs bar and cool, bright, confident upstairs restaurant with lots of dark wood, a long piece of graffiti art along one wall and an open kitchen. The menu offers a large choice of fusion foods for sharing. I found it difficult to choose but we settled on seven dishes that we both liked the sound of. The first four dishes came relatively quickly and were just delicious. This included a seabass ceviche which was shamefully small, yummy mushroom salad, a rather oily but tasty spring roll and impressive corn fritters. There was a respectable gap in service allowing us to prepare ourselves for a second round which again was superb and included a juicy aubergine dish that had a perfect sweet-tangy combination, succulent salmon picante and the only underwhelming dish, a plain courgette…Cutting to the chase – I loved my meal at Chotto Matte. The food was creative and moreish. Presentation and setting impressive. Service good. Prices were on the slightly higher than necessary side given the portions (making sharing best between people who know each other more intimately!) and with some dishes portion size really was just stingy. But I would come back – both for food and also to sample the great range of cocktails on offer.

He said: Chotto Matte is seriously stylish. You walk in and you feel like the coolest cat in town, and it’s in Soho: so easy to find! No need to get stressed running the gauntlet passed Dalston crack dens. For a Japanese-Peruvian restaurant there is something very New York about it: must be all that graffiti, black light, and urbane hipness. I loved all the food, but there was so little of it! The size of these sharing plates was so small that, if there’s more than two people at your table, then you had better bring your protractor and scales to figure our the sharing. Having said that, if I wasn’t thinking about cost then I wouldn’t give a damn, because it was all very tasty, and very pretty to look at. And, for once, there was a lot of choice for vegetarians. Drinks were imaginative, distinctive, and not too expensive. The ground-floor bar is a great place to hang out and knock back a few. So I would certainly come back, but my favourite Peruvian is still Ceviche, which I love as much for its food as for its no pretentious bullshit approach – a rare trait on London’s Peruvian scene.

Berner’s Tavern, 10 Berner’s Street, London W1T 3NP

Berner’s Tavern, 10 Berner’s Street, London W1T 3NP

27/10/2013

www.bernerstavern.com

She said: As big fans of Atherton we had to visit his latest edition. I was more apprehensive about this one mostly because the media fanfare has bordered on groupie. It’s in a ‘trendy’ hotel and palatial setting and the more affordable set menu of his other restaurants is absent here. However, in we went for brunch (hoping normal food was available too). There is no question that the dining room is awe-inspiring. A great, grand museum of a space with stunning, stucco ceilings and grand photos hung like great masters on every available wall space. The bright, yellow-lit bar provides a contemporary focus in contrast with classic banquettes and crisp table settings. When we arrived the place was comfortably busy – buzzing but not inaudible. I suspect when full, diners who are distracted by echoing buzzard-like conversations may strain to engage with their companions (a lady whose laughter resembled a dying hyena was a big, resonating distraction during my brunch). The brunch menu has the usual breakfast dishes but also has more standard lunch options including Sunday roast. There was little for vegetarians in the non-breakfast options (I didn’t feel like granola in the middle of the afternoon) so I kicked off with mushrooms on toast which was delicious but clearly very buttery and salty. Given I find gnocchi a bizarre creation, which was the only vegetarian option in the main dishes, I opted for an avocado and blue cheese salad. When it arrived it looked very pretty but alas there is a limit to how much avocado, cheese and iceberg lettuce you can eat so I threw in the towel two-thirds in. Berner’s Tavern is a stunning restaurant; one to impress just by its setting. The food was less impressive than all the other Atherton eateries I’ve been to but combined with the majestic dining room probably comes close.

He said: the word ‘brunch’ has, for me, very specific connotations, involving fortifying stuff like eggs Benedict and a jug of bloody Mary, consumed happily and bleary-eyed well after honest folks’ usual breakfast time, indicating that the previous night was very good indeed. But lately, in London’s mad foodie laboratory, Brunch has come to mean: reduced menu of uncomplicated dishes that can be served fast by a much smaller kitchen team. Or, the opposite of what you expect from an Atherton kitchen, which is typically all about invention and unhurried finesse. For example, just compare the mushroom on toast here (very good) to that at the Social in Soho (genius). What first impresses the most when you visit Berner’s is the jaw-dropping dining room; but this is also perhaps what holds it back: it is so vast, with so many covers, that it is perhaps not possible for Atherton to deliver the usual. At his other restaurants you normally ‘wow’ at the kitchen while here you ‘wow’ at the room. I guess I’ll have to come back for dinner to know for sure. But if you take Berner’s on its own merits, like a happy tourist might, unburdened by memories of amazing meals at the other Atherton places, then Berner’s is a winner, combining very good food with the city’s most impressive dining space.

Boulestin, 55 St Jame’s Street, London SW1A 1EF

Boulestin, 55 St Jame’s Street, London SW1A 1EF

29/09/2013

www.boulestin.com

She said: We visited Boulestin when it had recently opened and before the run of newspaper reviews (which have since come out with all sorts of high falutin analyses). First impressions were good. You enter through a causal but inviting café which serves a selection of the restaurant dishes in a more informal setting and pass into an elegant, calm restaurant with green banquettes and crisp white tablecloths. A long skylight creates an open and bright space to the room. Service was friendly and attentive. The menu had a wide choice of dishes for all tastes and prices were reasonable for Mayfair. I ordered a mushroom risotto for main as I had my eye on a chocolate dessert. While we were waiting the maitre d’ chatted about the new space and expressed disappointment on some luke-warm reviews which he said had criticised the ‘concept’ which confused me as this place didn’t involve rocket science: dining room; food; service; price. Nothing profound to get your head round. Anyway, my risotto was fine. A decent serving but nothing to write home about. He pre-ordered the ‘Tarte legere aux pommes’ which takes 20-minutes which I ended up swapping my chocolate terrine with. The terrine was fine, a chequer-board of white and dark chocolate atop a chocolate sponge – it’s just I prefer less sponge and more chocolate. The apple tart was yummy. Boulestin is a lovely space with good service and an interesting menu but at £35 per head for a main and desert (and his main salad portion was tiny!) and the absence of a set lunch menu option, I’d need to think twice about coming back.

He said: Boulestin is the perfect St. James’s restaurant. Classic and classy but with none of that Wilton’s establishment thing, which is as passé as that grand dame is old. For an area which is authentically old school, it’s remarkable how few ‘proper’ restaurants there are in St. James’s. Maybe the old boys just like eating at the club better. Me, I have no club and a lot of meetings in the area, and I’m often stuck for somewhere that doesn’t have bondage photos on the walls  (Wheeler’s), is not in hotel, or is not incredibly noisy (most places). This is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I love that Boulestin doesn’t play any muzak; sonic ambience has it’s time and place, but I do like being able to have an actual conversation with someone. Now the food: the bloody Mary was spot-on (no ice!); the main artichoke salad was so mean at £12.50 that I did wonder if it was physically possible to serve as smaller starter version; my tarte aux pommes was so exactly what I wanted that I ordered it with the main, except that I didn’t get it because She pounced on it. Woe betide the poor knave who is nearby when She has had a disappointing desert day! Since we’d only had two courses each, coffees, and drinks, I was actually surprised when the bill came in at £72. Lunch is currently Boulestin’s cash cow, so I can understand not discounting with a set lunch, but that’s a big mistake. Still, (small) warts and all, Boulestin is my favourite place in that neighbourhood.

Banca, 30 North Audley Street, London W1K 6ZF

Banca, 30 North Audley Street, London W1K 6ZF
[AUGUST 2013: NOW CLOSED]

04/05/2013

www.bancarestaurant.com

She said: Banca is an upmarket Italian housed in the former NatWest bank on a corner in Mayfair. We were greeted with lots of smiles and offered to sit wherever we like on entering which was both welcoming but had a slight feel of ‘wow we have customers’ to it. He wanted to sit at a table for four which I thought was inappropriate so opted for a table for two by the window which allowed me to see the whole dining room but he the frosted street window behind me…At first glance the menu seemed pricey for what was on offer but Banca also has more reasonably priced pasta and pizza dishes. For a chi chi restaurant, when I ordered some fresh juice from a long list of great options on the drinks menu I was told that only about three of the eight options were actually available – pretty poor. I decided to skip starters and ordered the risotto with gorgonzola and courgette flowers at £18. I’m not sure the blue cheese worked and the two deep fried courgettes sitting on top were an odd choice but it was fine. I had been planning on dessert but with so many good patisseries in the neighbourhood and not being blown away by the experience I decided to give it a miss. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely room, friendly and prompt service and good range of options on the menu but for the price, I think there’s just too much competition to make this one worth coming back to.

He said: the Maitre d’ seemed genuinely delighted to see us, and gave us a typically-Italian warm and friendly welcome into an equally typically-Italian stylishly appointed room. Good start, I thought. Could this become our local Italian, where we rub shoulders with the Italian glitterati, and eventually house-swap with Monica Bellucci? But the magic soon slowly fizzled-out. With the menu we were told about various things that were off that day including, strangely, about half the extensive list of fresh juices. Minor, you think – but, by lunch time on Saturday, you’d expect a serious kitchen to have all the holds barred in readiness for the big bun fight on one of the week’s most valuable nights. Never mind, these things happen sometimes. The menu had something for everybody, including pizza, and enough well-described options to cause some soul-searching. I took the plunge on a lentil salad to start, following up with monkfish and broad beans, sun-dried tomato etc. The salad was excellent, with enough pomegranate and apple to keep a generous portion interesting all the way through. But the presentation was a little unimaginative – here you go, a bowl of lentils. The monkfish made a much better impression on the plate, vivid green bean puree, deep red tomatoes, and plump white fish. I was looking forward to diving into my edible Italian flag, but at the back of my head was also the thought ‘my fish looks lonely on that big plate, could’ve been a bit more of it for £23’. It was delish, but my first bite was already lukewarm. In a way this sums up what’s wrong with Banca. The attention to detail wasn’t there; the appearance says ‘sophisticated’ but it’s not backed-up by the delivery. This would be OK almost anywhere except Mayfair where if you’re going to promise and charge like a big boy, then you’ve got to roll like a big boy. Rents are too high here to get it wrong for long. On the way out I noticed just one other table occupied, which could explain the effusive welcome…