Betty Blythe, 73 Blythe Road, London W14 0HP

Betty Blythe, 73 Blythe Road, London W14 0HP

www.bettyblythe.co.uk

28/09/2014

She said: I was so excited to visit this off-the-tourist track ‘vintage tea room’ in a quiet residential street in Kensington so was equally disappointed when it so horrendously failed to meet my expectations. These expectations were simple things like being served in a timely manner, the joy of seeing the tiered plates of cakes arranged beautifully on vintage china while wrestling with what order to eat my sugary treats in and spreading a thin layer of clotted cream and huge scoop of jam across a warm scone. Instead, the tea room was an uninspiring and very hot space with three tables squeezed in. Our tea arrived around 20 minutes before a plate of standard sandwiches (cucumber, egg and salmon). We then had another long wait before a plate of pre-spread scones were brought to us at which point we proceeded to scrape away the humongous lump of clotted cream plopped on the scone and try to make the most of the tiny spoon of jam atop. I’ve done my fair share of afternoon teas and this is the first time the scones have come pre-loaded with the cream and ration of jam. As the waitress removed our plates and noticed the scraped slabs of cream on the side, she commented ‘you don’t like cream’ to which I simply replied ‘not that much’…Still, I waited for the highlight, the tiered presentation of yummy cakes but instead came a mini brownie on a single plate. Hmm, okay, I ate this, it was good but what was going on? 15 minutes later one mini loaf of lemon drizzle on a plate which we cut in half and shared. Again fine. He thought this was it but I thought surely not…Another 10 minutes or so later we were offered a choice of macaroon flavours, I went for pistachio which again arrived on a single plate looking very lonely and tasting very sugary with little evidence of any nut flavour. And then we came to an end. A rather bizarre vintage tea experience. There were some attempts at fun, like the box of vintage hats we were encouraged to wear when we arrived but these all looked a bit manky and made me hot and itchy. It did make me reflect on how anyone can open a room, bake a few cakes, spread some sandwiches and brand it vintage but equally appreciate the few that get it right.

He said: In short Betty Blythe is over-rated. Perhaps people are excited because it’s in a random part of town (Earl’s Court) where there’s not that much going on, unless the dog grooming show, or the ideal home show are rocking the joint around the corner. Maybe a Time Out boffin lives nearby and has been busily tweeting about Betty’s. Don’t get me wrong: it’s fine, but there really ain’t much to write home about, or to go out of your way for. BB’s goes for a homely vibe, being set in the ground floor of a corner terraced house, with lots of knick-kacks to play with (feather boas, hats, etc.). But our first experience of it, having arrived a few minutes early, was a frosty reception; of course we couldn’t take our table early, despite nearly all of them being empty. It turns out that the ladies dunking the tea bags are actually French, so I gave them a pass; by Parisian standards we had got the star treatment. Everything was ok, but both food and drink were unmemorable, and served really slowly in dribs and drabs. The chuckle sisters just couldn’t cope with loading the pre-prepared goodies all at once on the three-tiered stand; so much for the traditional experience. I actually saw them turn away a bunch of people who walked in just wanting to order take away coffees. I guess they’re not in it for the money, but for the love of tradition. Don’t bother, unless you’re nearby.    

Mo Café, Heddon Street, London W1B 4BH

Mo Café, Heddon Street, London W1B 4BH

http://momoresto.com/restaurant/london/momo

30/08/2014

She said: I’d just finished ploughing through an afternoon tea book he bought me and was keen to try out Mo Café, the informal neighbour to Momo – the trendy, pricier Moroccan off Regent Street. At £22, the afternoon tea promised ‘the essence of Morocco’.  We decided to sit out on the plant-enclosed terrace, a world away from the busy, tourist-filled shopping streets of Piccadilly. The Moroccan mint tea I chose was compulsive but it was irritating that I had to wave down a waiter each time I wanted a refill (which was around every three sips from the pretty little glass). An exciting food-filled cake stand was brought out and I like the fact that there were two of everything (except the biscuits) so we both were able to try the same things. The savouries were good but not enough. It included a small but succulent falafel wrap, some mini toasted breads with juicy spreads, a yummy small cheese pastry but a disappointing salmon sandwich where I had to hunt for the scrap of fish. The tea was definitely slanted in favour of the sweets which were deliciously faultless and included a smooth, tasty brownie, pistachio macaroon and creamy lemon cake. The scone was as boring as I’ve come to expect but a real discovery was the Maghreb pastries, which turned out to be the most flavoursome sugar dusted, almond biscuits in the world. I was annoyed when presented with the bill and noticed the teas had been charged at an additional £10 but a new bill was presented quickly when they saw me notice (afternoon tea normally includes the tea in the price)! One for the tourists or an honest mistake? Still, Mo Café is a good alternative for some tea and cake when needing a break or change of scene from the craziness that is London.

He said: Tea at Momo’s is a really good proposition which, on our visit, was let down by lacklustre service. The setting is a great contrast to the hustle and bustle of Regent’s Street, especially on a nice day when you can take your tea on the terrace. The exotic nibbles are a really nice change from the traditional offering, and of very good quality, as you’d expect from Momo’s. Although these aren’t refreshed (as they sometimes are, increasingly rarely, and mostly out-of-town) but the quantity was fine, even if you cheated and skipped lunch; but I do wish that there were more of the savouries, especially since these are standards (falafel, cheesy filo, etc.) prepared in huge batches and round the clock for the main restaurant. Afternoon tea is obviously a luxury, and punters tend to justify the indulgence as a special occasion thing, expecting stellar service and setting. At Momo’s we turned up and no-one seemed to know about our booking, we had to ask often for refills, for the bill, and then for a correction to the bill; in short the front of house just didn’t care. Afternoon tea is as much about the experience as it is about the nosh; and without attentive service you might as well save money and just order a sharing plate of meze and a pot of mint tea. 

Sketch, Gallery, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

Sketch, Gallery, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG
24/05/2014
www.sketch.uk.com

She said: I’ve been wanting to try the afternoon tea here for ages but he was principled about afternoon tea meaning you get repeat refills of food and drink. I got him on a good day and booked tea for two at £34 per person (with no refills). The booking was for 90 minutes! On arrival we were given a choice of space between the Glade room, an intimate beautiful, blue-hued saloon-like room or the Martin Creed Gallery which was a vast, colourful bric-a-brac space with mismatched furniture and crockery; we opted for the latter. Service was swift, attentive but friendly. There’s so much to say about afternoon tea at Sketch but in short – it was the best afternoon tea experience I’ve had. Everything was presented just exquisitely and the food was more than enough that if refills had been available it would have been difficult to have any more. The sandwiches were a creative mix including a toasted cheese and pesto which was just delicious, salmon on a tasty flatbread and egg mayonnaise. Normally at afternoon teas, the cakes can be a mixed bag – usually for me too much mousse, biscuit and sponge but not at Sketch. We were offered an amazing mix of beautiful pastries every single one a delicious and different experience from coffee éclair to pistachio macaroon, lemon meringue to opera cake; even the scones which I am not a fan off, were warm and juicy with a fig jam. Although Sketch does not provide refills of different teas, you can get another warm pot of what you were having when it gets cold. However I would say that given my point about being so full with what they offer, and the price, I doubt it would really impact Sketch to offer the true traditional tea which does include full refills; this would most likely end up being goodwill but make Sketch the absolute leader in afternoon teas in the world. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to add another 30 minutes to their table time as I could feel the staff gently clearing up and moving us on as we edged towards our 90 minutes…That said, it was still a damn good experience. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the famous Sketch loos: individual pods with their own non-musical soundtrack in a pure white loft of a space – unique!

He said: What I like most about Tea at Sketch is the wonderful contrast between the very hip setting, and the very twee, middle England ritual of mini sandwiches and gallons of tea. It’s like Dazed & Confused meets Country Life: total mind blend! But Sketch pulls it off, because the kitchen really put a lot of thought into making what’s on the plate as creative as what’s on the wall. When She would suggest Tea at Sketch, over and over, I always shrugged it off, thinking that it was just another cynical scheme devised by Sketch to squeeze more margin out of its location. I confess I got it wrong. For me Tea is best in the caf of some remote National Trust country house, after a bracing walk through Capability Brown type landscape on a soggy English summer’s day. But in London I rate Sketch as joint tie with Savoy for best Tea. They’re at opposite ends of the scale conceptually (v. trad vs v. hip) but equally matched when it comes to delivery. I’m definitely adding Tea at Sketch to my list of ‘Cool Britannia’ things to do with visitors from remote lands. 

The Caramel Room, The Berkeley Hotel, Wilton Place, London SW1X 7RL

The Caramel Room, The Berkeley Hotel, Wilton Place, London SW1X 7RL

12/04/2013

www.the-berkeley.co.uk

She said: Mmm, an afternoon of tea and cakes; I was looking forward to this. The Caramel Room is a fairly benign, inoffensive space by the entrance of this Knightsbridge style hotel but the unique afternoon tea certainly makes up for any lack of star-factor of the surrounds. We were seated by a large window at a perfectly set table with a place name inscribed within a cut-out fluorescent pink stiletto. The service was immaculate. We were given a full run-down of the ceremony and delicacies to come. I did struggle to keep a straight face and avoided eye-contact with him when we were shown a brochure of fashion designs upon which the Pret a Portea is modelled; to name but a few: a mouse inspired by a Burberry trench coat and umbrella; a Fendi ankle-boot biscuit; a YSL sponge handbag; and in their words not mine ‘Diane Von Furstenberg pink lady apple mousse and kalamancy cremeux topped with playful interlocking sugar puzzles’.

Our desserts were preceded by an excellent choice of sandwiches and nibbles such as mini falafel and humous, a spoon of marinated tuna, a glass of cold soup all of which were perfectly formed and pleasantly appetising. Having learned from previous afternoon teas, we paced ourselves well and tried not to fill up on the variety of teas on offer. Staff regularly checked and refreshed our tea, savouries and desserts – YES – the ultimate gold star here is that is confirmed to the ‘keep ‘em coming’ school of thought for afternoon tea allowing us to have as many rounds of whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. At £39 per head, afternoon tea at the Berkeley should be on the top 3 of anyone’s list and the novelty factor of the Pret a Portea is actually rather superb…

He said: Afternoon tea, for me, should be either very basic or very posh: a grannyish, chintzy tearoom in a faded seaside town, or the maximum luxury experience of the Savoy (see below). No-one can accuse The Berkley Hotel of being a retiring wallflower: this Knightsbridge stalwart is the first hotel that I can remember charging £15 for a drink, back when that was a lot of money. But Pret-a-Portea is, sadly, tucked into a corner, with far too little space for it to deploy its many charms. And there is a definite disconnect between its bubbly fashion vibe, and the rather dark, and masculine room. The waitress came with the menus, and it was pure David Brent cringe as she explained, at length, the Manolo inspired biscuits and other insane Fashion conceits. I hoped to see coke-addled Edina and Patsy come crashing into this bizarre Sex And the City scene. But Pret-a-Portea scores highly on food (including tasty canapés), enthusiastic service; a little takeaway box of your favourite sweets was a very nice touch. In the end, tea here was actually a fun and pleasant experience, but the concept is a little forced.

Savoy, Strand, London, WC2R 0EU

Savoy, Strand, London, WC2R 0EU
04/07/2012
http://www.fairmont.com/savoy-london/dining/

She said: We don’t normally review ‘teas’ but an exception has to be made for the Savoy. He took me here as part of my birthday treat. Straight off – I must say that tea at the Savoy should be on everyone’s ‘things to do before I die’ list. Absolute perfection. From the moment we arrived and the happy, engaging cloakroom attendants took our coats we were in paradise; this paradise being a beautiful, glamorous, comfortable, ‘never want to leave’ parlour-cum-living room with high ceilings and ornate furnishings, with a pianist turning out classics from Fitzgerald, Sinatra and company from a birdcage-like enclosure and fellow tea-takers sharing the same pleasure in every second that passes in this wonderful place. The way it works at the Savoy (and how high-tea should work everywhere) is that you pay one set price which entitles you to repeat teas, sandwiches, scones and mini-cakes. The tea list is exhaustive and the sandwiches (which included salmon, basil and tomato, egg and mayonnaise and cheese and pickle) melted in the mouth and despite knowing I should pace myself I had to dig in to a scone. The service was immaculate – friendly, smart and attentive; after a certain passing of time the waiters would replace your tea pot with a fresh hot one and you could of course change the type of tea at any point. When we had our fill of sandwiches we were presented with a picture box of mini cakes on a silver tray. We divided and conquered picking different ones each containing mixes of creams, fruit, chocolate and meringue. When we were just about ready to explode and despite spreading things out over a few hours we were offered a hefty slice of cake which I forced on myself determined to eat my weight in pudding. Oh, and I forgot to say they preceded the cake-fest with some rocky road with a candle in and ‘happy birthday’ scribed in chocolate sauce to mark my unforgettable day. Happiness is tea at the Savoy.

He said: It's just as well that, as far as tourists are concerned, the Ritz has the best rep for afternoon tea. That means that locals can keep the Savoy, the true champ in this category, for themselves. This really is the way it's meant to be: flawless from start to finish, walking that tightrope between exclusivity and hospitality, generous and attentive, all in a really handsome, classy and comfortable setting. Tea can sometimes be twee and girlie, but not here, where the decor is a contemporary twist on 18th-century exoticism. It's a room in which to linger, which we did, trying out the various  teas brews from the extensive list, and endless cut sandwiches and sweets. Skip lunch, go early and spend the afternoon.

Soho's Secret Tea Rooms, 29 Greek Street London, UK W1D 5DH. 15/4/12

Soho's Secret Tea Room, 29 Greek Street London, UK W1D 5DH. 15/4/12
http://www.sohossecrettearoom.co.uk/



She said...Hidden on the first floor above the Coach and Horses pub (and entered by walking through the pub counter which is all very 'speakeasy' in feel) is a 40's-styled tea room, complete with vinyl record player turning out musical classics like the 'Singing in the Rain' soundtrack. There is fine bone china, frills, lace and floral dressing on display and when seated at our table for two, with crisp white table cloths, I felt a million miles away from the chaos of Soho. We opted for the full afternoon tea however, after the excitement of the setting, the tea was far from fulfilling. At £17.50 each, quite frankly it was a bit of a p***-take. My understanding and experience of afternoon tea at other venues is that you get free top ups of everything - tea, cakes and sandwiches but here is one round only. I may have been okay with this if what I had blew me away but instead of the fine, delicate pastries I've had at many other a tea room, here the offerings were heavy, stodgy sponges lacking either sophistication or nostalgia. You get a couple of sandwiches (egg, cucumber and salmon - two triangles of each), a thick, brick-like walnut cake slice and unmemorable fairy cake plus a fairly dry, luke-warm scone with a butter-like clotted cream and just enough jam. I had been really excited about this place as I am a tea and cake fiend but, given the other customers (mostly American), this one is clearly aimed at non-returning tourists. For a few pounds more, I would trade in the pursuit of the cute 40's room for a really classic English tea at the better known establishments.

He said: You've probably walked past this place a dozen times and never noticed it: it's right above legendary Soho boozer The Coach and Horses. But knowing where it is doesn't mean you're there yet: first you have to get passed the bar staff at The Coach, which on personal experience can vary from sweet to surly. Tell the barkeep you have a booking, he'll call upstairs to tell them you're here, and then tell you to get on with it, come behind the bar (nice!) and climb upstairs. Good start! All very 'speakeasy meets Ms Daisy'. The place certainly makes a good first impression: 33rpm croaking standards in the corner, lots of light pouring-in through the windows (you're on the first floor, after all, not all that common), doilies and mismatched china and table-wear everywhere. The atmosphere is spot-on, and contrasts delightfully with the sin and decadence raging outside on most nights. We both ordered the high tea. Cakes, sarnies and tea were all fine, nothing special really, but high tea is more about the ritual than the food, so I was keeping an open mind. My only bone with this place is that you only get one round of everything and at £17.50 a shot it's just too expensive for what you get. This place is on to something, and almost nailed it; extending some generosity that I'm sure most would not avail themselves of, would go a long way towards covering-up its flaws and making this a special spot.