Tanner and Co, 50 Bermondsey St, London SE1 3UD

Tanner and Co, 50 Bermondsey St, London SE1 3UD

20/12/2013

www.tannerandco.co.uk

She said: A curious place kitted out as a school gym from the 80’s with pommel horse booths and leather banquettes. The dining space is long, open and bright with plenty of British fare on the menu. It was disappointing that the soup he ordered for lunch ‘wasn’t ready yet’; vegetable soup not being available when a restaurant opens for lunch is to me like saying a swimming pool has no water in it when you’re already in your bathing suit. Anyway, I ordered mushrooms on toast to start which took a while to arrive but when it did was delicious. My hake main course was cooked perfectly but unfortunately the leeks it came with were hard, chewy and drowned by a very salty, heavy buttery sauce which went cold within a few moments making it all a bit gloopy. At £20 a head for two courses it’s your standard mid-range London price. There seems to be a new genre of restaurants we’ve been going to lately which is the ‘lovely place, shame about the food’ category. With this genre, you really, really want to like the food because the setting is so great and so you make allowances. Tanner and Co is one of those places where I would probably come back thinking a different food order may generate a different outcome because I enjoyed the space so much...

He said: Bermondsey High Street is hip: White Cube's there, as are innumerable

coffee shops. Not edgy hip (there's not a single betting shop or stabby youf in sight) but more cosy, been there done that hip. Among the half dozen restaurants on the street, the cool kid is Tanner's. It certainly looks good with its devil-may-care, mix-n-match and stylishly distressed interior, full of knick knacks salvaged from some condemned comprehensive (local, I hope!) including monkey bars and the dreaded beam from the gym, diagrams from science class, maps, etc. Luckily the comparison ends there - no sight of fag ash in the mash, or mystery-meat burgers.  I tried ordering the soup which, alas, wasn't 'ready yet'. Being a benevolent dictator I give chef the benefit of the doubt, and instead happily munch my way through a too small mushrooms on toast.  Next a veggie pie with Jerusalem artichoke (brrppp!) and more mushrooms, which worked very well, the crust kept nice and crisp by one of those baked-in clay valves (bird shaped!) to let excess steam out. Simple and nice. My only negative was that we had 3 different people waiting our table, a bug-bear for an impatient sob like me. Tanner's could be a top choice in the area if it took things more seriously and applied itself. A for effort, C for attention to detail.

Rum Kitchen, Kingly Court, London Carnaby Street, W1B 5PW

Rum Kitchen, Kingly Court, London Carnaby Street, W1B 5PW

13/12/2013

www.therumkitchen.com

She said: We tried going to the Notting Hill site a few months ago for lunch only to be told they don’t serve lunch, so were excited to learn we could satisfy our Caribbean lunch-cravings at the new Soho site. I certainly wasn’t disappointed. Rum Kitchen sits atop the Kingly Court courtyard and is done up to look like an ocean-side chic-shack with lots of colourful lights and nostalgia on display. The bar is a throwback to the same with a chilled-out barman happily pouring his own-defined generous measures into various concoctions. I was excited before even sitting down. I ordered a Bloody Mary which had a super spicy kick but was strangely addictive…For food I ordered some salted fish fritters to start which were indeed salty, juicy and tasty. For mains I chose the pumpkin, coconut and chic pea curry which came on a bed of roti. The portion was huge and after eating as much as I could the plate looked untouched (until he helped out). The curry was full of flavour and definitely hit the spot. Service was friendly and the waiter asked if we were full which if the first time I remember a waiter ever checking I was appropriately stuffed. I loved this place. Prices are very reasonable and yes the fact that I had a 50% Rum Kitchen discount helped but quality and value stand up on their own. This is a great place for food, to socialise and to just have a relaxed, decent meal. Definitely going back.

He said: My knowledge of Caribbean cuisine begins and ends with Jamaican patties, and rice & peas, so I can't really comment on the authenticity of the food. But what we ordered I liked, especially Her curried veggie stew. What I liked most about Rum Kitchen is the no-nonsense, keep-it-simple principle: a short menu of classics well executed. It's because of this streamlined menu that I ordered the swordfish burger. That's a fish I've avoided ever since being told by someone whose job it is to know that you'll be hard-pressed to find more parasites in any other of neptune's denizens. Still, in for a penny, in for a pound, it was delish and I gobbled it up. The service was friendly and efficient, and the portions generous. You know a place's MO when the waitress asks you at the end: 'did that fill you up honey?' Drinks were tasty and potent, mixed as they were with free pours - something I have not seen I years in London, and one of the few things that I miss about America. The brains behind Rum Kitchen are visibly genuinely keen for every punter to walk out satiated and happy.  It has all the hallmarks, funky decor included, of a future franchise roll-out (though I really hope not). There is nothing not to like about Rum Kitchen. I'm going back next week with the guys.

Union Street Cafe, 47-51 Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BS

Union Street Cafe, 47-51 Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BS

09/11/2013

www.gordonramsay.com/union-street-cafe/

She said: Despite the ridiculous hype around ‘that’ footballer and billions of people trying to get a booking we had no trouble getting a table on the day at Ramsay’s latest offering. Union Street Café sits a short walk from Southwark station, occupying a corner with, yes, Union Street. I was immediately pleased with the lovely warm room which contrasted with the cold, wet outside – especially given the industrial-chic interior. We were warmly greeted and shown to our table with comfortable, rounded leather chairs. The room felt intimate yet open, with lots of dark wood, pop sculptures and a smart bar. The semi-open kitchen was on a platform up a few stairs where additional dining tables were available. I think I liked the fact that Union Street Café hadn’t tried to ram in as many tables as possible and the dining room felt very well spaced out without feeling empty. I say ‘think’ because it is unusual for business to not try to maximise capacity without some impact on pricing. The menu was presented in pretty printed calligraphy which I found illegible so had to ask the waiter to read and interpret but found him incomprehensible, though I must say service was friendly and attentive. I managed to order a starter of artichoke, olive and pecorino which was subtle but a good intro and finished with a perfectly delicious ravioli with ricotta, rainbow chard and walnuts. I had read complaints about portions being small but they were the right size for me and I was glad I ordered the ‘main’ ravioli size which was a real highlight for me. At just under £30 per head I enjoyed Union Street Café and it’s a great new addition to the constantly transforming Southwark area.

He said: You see where it is on the map, and hear the name Union Street Café, and you’ll be forgiven for thinking that you’re going to that greasy spoon from The Apprentice, where all the losers go to recriminate over Styrofoam cups of builder’s tea. But no, this is a Ramsey joint! And a very good one at that. Potty Mouth did a great job matching his brand to the area, which is more murder alley than Mayfair. The designer somehow managed to deliver a posh urban dining room, and Gordon cleverly settled on an Italian menu: the most democratic of cuisines that you can also charge a packet for; everybody knows they like Italian, even if, like me, they have no clue what Ovuli Crudi or Guazzetto might be (I liked both). And because Il Duce is behind it, everything works smooth as silk. My only gripe is that the portions are small for Italian, a cuisine famed for generosity, and the prices on the high side. It all feels a little bit greedy given the postcode. But I suppose that is Union Street’s unique proposition: there are not many upscale eateries so close to Tate Modern (millions of visitors a year), and Ramsey just plugged that gap. If you’re not hungry, there’s a very good basement bar.

Chotto Matte, 11-13 Frith Street, London W1D 4RB

Chotto Matte, 11-13 Frith Street, London W1D 4RB

02/11/2013

www.chotto-matte.com/

She said: Not sure why but he seemed to be veering away from trying this Japanese-Peruvian in Soho but I would not have any of it. I was pleased with my resolve. Chotto Matte is an impressive space occupying a large corner in Soho. There is a trendy downstairs bar and cool, bright, confident upstairs restaurant with lots of dark wood, a long piece of graffiti art along one wall and an open kitchen. The menu offers a large choice of fusion foods for sharing. I found it difficult to choose but we settled on seven dishes that we both liked the sound of. The first four dishes came relatively quickly and were just delicious. This included a seabass ceviche which was shamefully small, yummy mushroom salad, a rather oily but tasty spring roll and impressive corn fritters. There was a respectable gap in service allowing us to prepare ourselves for a second round which again was superb and included a juicy aubergine dish that had a perfect sweet-tangy combination, succulent salmon picante and the only underwhelming dish, a plain courgette…Cutting to the chase – I loved my meal at Chotto Matte. The food was creative and moreish. Presentation and setting impressive. Service good. Prices were on the slightly higher than necessary side given the portions (making sharing best between people who know each other more intimately!) and with some dishes portion size really was just stingy. But I would come back – both for food and also to sample the great range of cocktails on offer.

He said: Chotto Matte is seriously stylish. You walk in and you feel like the coolest cat in town, and it’s in Soho: so easy to find! No need to get stressed running the gauntlet passed Dalston crack dens. For a Japanese-Peruvian restaurant there is something very New York about it: must be all that graffiti, black light, and urbane hipness. I loved all the food, but there was so little of it! The size of these sharing plates was so small that, if there’s more than two people at your table, then you had better bring your protractor and scales to figure our the sharing. Having said that, if I wasn’t thinking about cost then I wouldn’t give a damn, because it was all very tasty, and very pretty to look at. And, for once, there was a lot of choice for vegetarians. Drinks were imaginative, distinctive, and not too expensive. The ground-floor bar is a great place to hang out and knock back a few. So I would certainly come back, but my favourite Peruvian is still Ceviche, which I love as much for its food as for its no pretentious bullshit approach – a rare trait on London’s Peruvian scene.

Berner’s Tavern, 10 Berner’s Street, London W1T 3NP

Berner’s Tavern, 10 Berner’s Street, London W1T 3NP

27/10/2013

www.bernerstavern.com

She said: As big fans of Atherton we had to visit his latest edition. I was more apprehensive about this one mostly because the media fanfare has bordered on groupie. It’s in a ‘trendy’ hotel and palatial setting and the more affordable set menu of his other restaurants is absent here. However, in we went for brunch (hoping normal food was available too). There is no question that the dining room is awe-inspiring. A great, grand museum of a space with stunning, stucco ceilings and grand photos hung like great masters on every available wall space. The bright, yellow-lit bar provides a contemporary focus in contrast with classic banquettes and crisp table settings. When we arrived the place was comfortably busy – buzzing but not inaudible. I suspect when full, diners who are distracted by echoing buzzard-like conversations may strain to engage with their companions (a lady whose laughter resembled a dying hyena was a big, resonating distraction during my brunch). The brunch menu has the usual breakfast dishes but also has more standard lunch options including Sunday roast. There was little for vegetarians in the non-breakfast options (I didn’t feel like granola in the middle of the afternoon) so I kicked off with mushrooms on toast which was delicious but clearly very buttery and salty. Given I find gnocchi a bizarre creation, which was the only vegetarian option in the main dishes, I opted for an avocado and blue cheese salad. When it arrived it looked very pretty but alas there is a limit to how much avocado, cheese and iceberg lettuce you can eat so I threw in the towel two-thirds in. Berner’s Tavern is a stunning restaurant; one to impress just by its setting. The food was less impressive than all the other Atherton eateries I’ve been to but combined with the majestic dining room probably comes close.

He said: the word ‘brunch’ has, for me, very specific connotations, involving fortifying stuff like eggs Benedict and a jug of bloody Mary, consumed happily and bleary-eyed well after honest folks’ usual breakfast time, indicating that the previous night was very good indeed. But lately, in London’s mad foodie laboratory, Brunch has come to mean: reduced menu of uncomplicated dishes that can be served fast by a much smaller kitchen team. Or, the opposite of what you expect from an Atherton kitchen, which is typically all about invention and unhurried finesse. For example, just compare the mushroom on toast here (very good) to that at the Social in Soho (genius). What first impresses the most when you visit Berner’s is the jaw-dropping dining room; but this is also perhaps what holds it back: it is so vast, with so many covers, that it is perhaps not possible for Atherton to deliver the usual. At his other restaurants you normally ‘wow’ at the kitchen while here you ‘wow’ at the room. I guess I’ll have to come back for dinner to know for sure. But if you take Berner’s on its own merits, like a happy tourist might, unburdened by memories of amazing meals at the other Atherton places, then Berner’s is a winner, combining very good food with the city’s most impressive dining space.

The Happenstance, 1a Ludgate Hill, London EC4M 7AA

The Happenstance, 1a Ludgate Hill, London EC4M 7AA

26/10/2013

www.thehappenstancebar.co.uk

She said: Hungry and in the City with the skies about to open we headed into The Happenstance, part of the Drake and Morgan chain of trendy bar-restaurants in the City. I’ve always had mixed feelings about the group. The settings are always inviting – modern, bright, impressive spaces with great cocktails but the food is always mediocre. I still remember abandoning my pasta at another of their joints (Refinery) when it was overcooked beyond recognition. Still, as a new addition to the group we thought we’d give it a go. I ordered a bruschetta with mushroom and pesto which was good but lukewarm. Foolishly I opted for the crab and crayfish linguini which was hot, edible but slightly overcooked and, as seems to be a theme in chains, the fish was being rationed. My rose martini cocktail was amazing and drink prices reasonable. In conclusion, I would recommend The Happenstance and its fellow venues for drinks and nibbles but move on to somewhere else for proper food.

He said: The Happenstance is, for me, the least memorable of the ‘pubs’ in this chain of gastros. The décor was typically bright, mismatched boho-chic, and the drinks were excellent. But my Thai curry was a let-down: the rice over-cooked, and the curry under-spiced and probably made from a jar. But even if the food seems like an after-thought, it’s worth coming here just for the mixed drinks, which are genuinely good, and very well priced [for London] at under £8 each. Some of the kitchen’s offerings might just do the trick to mop-up the booze and keep your head straight. But if you’re going to eat at The Happenstance, then you had better order something deep-fried.

Bonnie Gull, 21A Foley Street, London W1W 6DS

Bonnie Gull, 21A Foley Street, London W1W 6DS

23/10/2013

www.bonniegull.com/

She said: Bonnie Gull has the feel of a fine, local seaside eatery – quite an achievement given its Fitzrovia location. This ‘seafood shack’ is a smart, cosy, lightly nautical-themed space with a changing menu catering to seafood lovers (with the odd vegetarian option). I started with the beetroot salmon which was simple but clearly good quality and followed it with a cod that came with some sliced Brussels sprouts and raisins; the cod was again a simple dish (no sauce/’jus’ or other noticeable added flavours) but lukewarm. My dessert was pure chocolate goodness in the form of a chocolate brownie with a caramel salted ice cream. Although the starter and main was nothing to write home about, I really liked Bonnie Gull; I think because it’s refreshing to enjoy a relaxed, friendly, neighbourhood restaurant in the centre of town that has a simple, clear focus. This means you can sit down, order and get on with the joy of hanging out without feeling like ‘they’ need the table back or you’re part of a passing trend or latest ‘pop-up’! The only reality check that we’re in London not Southend was the £82 bill; but then again the fish is responsibly sourced…

He said: One day I will write the ultimate secret London guide, and indexed under ‘fish restaurant’ you will certainly find Bonnie Gull. Not that’s it’s hard to find – a quick Boris-bike ride to Fitzrovia is all it took; no three-hour traffic-chocked crawl to deepest Norfolk or Kent required. But once you get there the vibe is certainly the real Deal. A dozen or so tables are scattered about a cozy room brightly decorated in whites and blues, with windows on two sides letting-in the incomparable British skies and light. Service is chummy and efficient, and the place generally radiates a fine, aren’t-you-happy-we’re-here-instead-of-there atmosphere. I kicked things off with a nice mushroom consommé, and followed with pan-fried hake. Excellent stuff and, at about £20 per main, fairly priced given the quality and the fact that fish are basically nearly extinct. If you’ve grown bored of elbowing your way through throngs of clebs to commandeer your usual table at Scott’s then have a pop at Bonnie’s – I certainly can’t think of another fish place I’d rather hit.

The Beaufort House, 354 King’s Road, London SW3 5UZ

The Beaufort House, 354 King’s Road, London SW3 5UZ

10/10/2013

www.beauforthousechelsea.co.uk/

She said: I’ve regularly walked passed this corner gastro-looking pub on the King’s Road and read good things so we popped in for an early dinner before a movie. The service was prompt and when I was served a gone-off juice they were quick to remove it and take the price off the bill. The menu offered a decent range of gastro-pub food and I kicked off with a fig and goats cheese salad which was good but a few too many lumps of cheese for me. I was looking forward to the lobster and pea risotto and when a big serving of it arrived I was glad I had ordered the starter portion. Unfortunately the risotto was a big let down. The rice was overcooked to mush, the lobster was clearly being rationed but more surprisingly so were the peas! It was so lacking in flavour I quit halfway through. Shame really as this would have been a nice spot for pre/post cinema dining. The movie wasn’t great either so a bit of a washout of an evening (including the rain)!

He said: We had about an hour before a movie, and Beaufort House was an impulsive choice: it was nearest, and we’d been meaning to check it out. This being Chelsea I still called ahead; the voicemail picked-up and I left a message (I’m an optimist). I was pleasantly surprised that we were expected when we rolled-up a few minutes later. Beaufort House ticks quite a lot of boxes: the room is pleasant, in a posh, former pub kind of way, you don’t get charged for bread and olives (a bugbear of mine: this is the hospitality industry, after all), service is efficient, the menu’s fairly broad, prices fair. Where it does stumble is in the quality control: her cranberry was off (they cancelled it with an apology), as was the risotto which was way overdone. I started with the spicy carrot soup which tasted nice but got boring halfway through – it needed texture or something to lift it (or maybe just a smaller portion, it was pretty big). My fig salad was very good; I was having the same thing as a main that she had as a start, and it was surprising that mine was kinda light on the cheese. That and the rotten risotto tells me that the kitchen’s not really paying as much attention as it should for a restaurant that has a drink on the menu priced at £1111. To sum up, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: this place is fine for the price, but inconsistent: when you go it might be good, or it might be mildly disappointing. Good luck! 

Boulestin, 55 St Jame’s Street, London SW1A 1EF

Boulestin, 55 St Jame’s Street, London SW1A 1EF

29/09/2013

www.boulestin.com

She said: We visited Boulestin when it had recently opened and before the run of newspaper reviews (which have since come out with all sorts of high falutin analyses). First impressions were good. You enter through a causal but inviting café which serves a selection of the restaurant dishes in a more informal setting and pass into an elegant, calm restaurant with green banquettes and crisp white tablecloths. A long skylight creates an open and bright space to the room. Service was friendly and attentive. The menu had a wide choice of dishes for all tastes and prices were reasonable for Mayfair. I ordered a mushroom risotto for main as I had my eye on a chocolate dessert. While we were waiting the maitre d’ chatted about the new space and expressed disappointment on some luke-warm reviews which he said had criticised the ‘concept’ which confused me as this place didn’t involve rocket science: dining room; food; service; price. Nothing profound to get your head round. Anyway, my risotto was fine. A decent serving but nothing to write home about. He pre-ordered the ‘Tarte legere aux pommes’ which takes 20-minutes which I ended up swapping my chocolate terrine with. The terrine was fine, a chequer-board of white and dark chocolate atop a chocolate sponge – it’s just I prefer less sponge and more chocolate. The apple tart was yummy. Boulestin is a lovely space with good service and an interesting menu but at £35 per head for a main and desert (and his main salad portion was tiny!) and the absence of a set lunch menu option, I’d need to think twice about coming back.

He said: Boulestin is the perfect St. James’s restaurant. Classic and classy but with none of that Wilton’s establishment thing, which is as passé as that grand dame is old. For an area which is authentically old school, it’s remarkable how few ‘proper’ restaurants there are in St. James’s. Maybe the old boys just like eating at the club better. Me, I have no club and a lot of meetings in the area, and I’m often stuck for somewhere that doesn’t have bondage photos on the walls  (Wheeler’s), is not in hotel, or is not incredibly noisy (most places). This is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I love that Boulestin doesn’t play any muzak; sonic ambience has it’s time and place, but I do like being able to have an actual conversation with someone. Now the food: the bloody Mary was spot-on (no ice!); the main artichoke salad was so mean at £12.50 that I did wonder if it was physically possible to serve as smaller starter version; my tarte aux pommes was so exactly what I wanted that I ordered it with the main, except that I didn’t get it because She pounced on it. Woe betide the poor knave who is nearby when She has had a disappointing desert day! Since we’d only had two courses each, coffees, and drinks, I was actually surprised when the bill came in at £72. Lunch is currently Boulestin’s cash cow, so I can understand not discounting with a set lunch, but that’s a big mistake. Still, (small) warts and all, Boulestin is my favourite place in that neighbourhood.

The Hardwick, Old Raglan Road, Abergavenny, Wales, NP7 9AA

The Hardwick, Old Raglan Road, Abergavenny, Wales, NP7 9AA

22/09/2013

www.thehardwick.co.uk

She said: I’d spent the day before doing ‘Tough Mudder’ which essentially involved lots of mud, electric shocks, ice water and climbing walls (for 3 hours) so I wanted to indulge our trip to Wales with a good Sunday lunch. The Hardwick was an excellent pick and lives up to its reputation. The pub looks like any other from the outside and is located on the B4598 but as you pass the ‘mind your head’ sign in the drinking area, the space opens up into a series of dining rooms. We were seated in the most modern and open room at the end which was my favourite. There was a wide selection of great sounding dishes to pick from as well as a set menu. Service was brusque and we had different people serving us throughout the meal as the restaurant filled up over the course of our stay. Looking around, you could tell this was a local favourite and a place people dress us for to enjoy good food. And good it was. I started with a goats cheese salad which was creamy and a good intro. For mains I opted for the Plaice with brown shrimp, greens and mash. The fish was a generous portion and very tasty. My dessert was the perfect ending – a spectacular ‘Valrhona Chocolate Mousse & Millionaires' Shortbread with White Chocolate Ice Cream & Brownie Crumble, Chocolate Popping Candy and Sea Salted Caramel Sauce’. That is how to make a desert. And the coffee came on time with the dessert as requested – impressive. Now I understand all the fuss about going out for a Sunday pub lunch. The meal was reasonable at £30 per person making me wish the Hardwick wasn’t stuck on a B-road in Wales but closer to home. If you happen to be anywhere near the country, I recommend stopping in for a while and treating yourself.

He said: The Hardwick came at the tail end of an amazing weekend in Wales; we stopped here for lunch, to pacify ourselves ahead of the 3hr+ traffic-chocked drive home. My enduring memory was of everyone around us speaking Welsh. Very cool, and a bit like having a stroke, maybe: everything visually was very familiar, but none of the sounds made any sense. Hardwick is your classic Bastion of Culinary Excellence for all those wise folk who have decided to escape the big smoke of Cardiff. It’s incredible how well you can eat in these far-flung places where expense-account dining is the exception. It’s not all Chicken Shacks and micro-waved Chinese; maybe fine dining is the reason that Britain is in the grip of a diabetes epidemic. In which case Hardwick should be at the top of the list for its share of the NHS bill. The room itself is no big deal – the usual converted formerly-something-else on a B road. But the food! Hardwick clearly cares about exciting the punters, not with Blumenthal razzle-dazzle, but with top-quality, seasonal ingredients and vibrant presentation. I had a posh bruschetta, made with funky-coloured heirloom tomatoes and home-made bread, followed by feather-light gnocchi in a tomato sauce livened-up with asparagus pumpkin and goats cheese. Great value at £30 with coffee and chocolates. 3hrs is a long way to go for a meal, so I don’t expect that either you or I will be going any time soon. But I’d be here regularly if I was a local; just have to work out how to pronounce this cryptic language… 

Massimo, Corinthia Hotel, 10 Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5AE

Massimo Restaurant and Oyster Bar, Corinthia Hotel, 10 Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5AE

07/09/2013

http://corinthia.com/hotels/london/

She said: We tried coming here a few weeks ago on a Sunday but alas it is not open on Sundays…So we returned on a Saturday with our dining card 2-4-1 discount in hand. Massimo is a stunning, palatial dining space. Imposing Corinthian columns, bold yet elegant lighting, brown leather banquettes, crisp linen table cloths, shimmering bar, and a golden hue throughout the room. I was excited to get stuck in to the menu. I jumped straight into mains and after finding it difficult to choose from so many delicious sounding options I picked a tagliolini with crab and chilli which was perfectly cooked pasta with a juicy chilli oil and succulent crab flakes. I was so impressed, wondering why the place was practically empty and already planning a return. Although tight on time the dessert menu was too tempting so I ordered the chocolate fondant and was assured it would take 15 minutes. 25 minutes later a very dry lump of sponge looked up at me from a large plate and when I took a spoon to it hoping that the molten goodness would flow out my heart sank as a tiny glue-like chocolate sat stuck to the crumbling sponge. Clearly this was overcooked and I was sorely disappointed. The minor consolation was 50% off the bill so we paid £42 for two courses and soft drinks – not the best value if paying full price. Dining at Massimo was like dining in two different restaurants – 10 out of 10 for the first half and a classy experience, 0 out of 10 for the second half and I wish I had got a coffee and cake at any one of the many nearby patisseries instead. Incidentally, customer responsiveness could do with some work; when I informed the waiter the fondant was overcooked and barely edible which was a shame given how good the mains were, he didn’t know what to say – literally, he just stood there nodding as he took payment. The friendly greeting we received on arrival was marked by any acknowledgement whatsoever as we left our table and the restaurant to a hum of silence.

He said: 99% of restaurants included in Discount Dining cards, like Gourmet Society or Taste London, are chains or run-of-the-mill places. But it pays to look hard at the membership list, because every so often a Destination Restaurant slips in: the kind of place with that ‘wow’ factor, where you take someone to celebrate, propose, or break-up (because it’s just too nice to make a fuss in). Massimo is a hell of a good looking restaurant: cathedral-height ceilings, huge windows, flash but still just the right side of classy. We were on our way to see a show, so had time for a main and a desert. I opted for ‘organic barley penne with borrage and shaved ricotta because’: 1) what is borrage? 2) you can shave ricotta? 3) why is this pasta dish so expensive yet vegetarian? I’m none the wiser about the price: the ‘taste to price’ ratio was all wrong. In the 50+ posts written to date I don’t think I dissed the food very often – I generally give the kitchen the benefit of the doubt. But this dish made no sense to me. It’s bland, health-freak type stuff – the kind of dish loved by the likes of Moby, I imagine. So I decided to balance this out with a blow-out, indulgent desert. ‘Mont Blanc Pavlova’, that will do it. Doesn’t that just conjure up the best vision of a mountain of meringue, floating on a giant cloud of cream, and scattered with red fruit symbolizing the crushed bodies of fallen climbers? But no, instead my hopes were crushed, when the saddest pavlova I have ever seen was plopped on the table. It’s like Tommy being promised an Xbox by drunk Santa at the mall, but getting a book of Sudoku Christmas morning. It took me a while to get over the disappointment; in fact I ate the whole thing without actually tasting a single spoon. But you know what: that room is so great, I would still go back, armed with a 2-for-1 card, now that I know the menu is written by a fantasist. Stick to the tried and tested and at that price you can’t go wrong.

Orrery, 55 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 5RB

Orrery, 55 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 5RB

02/09/2013

www.orrery-restaurant.co.uk

She said: the mother-in-law was in town and treating us so I wanted something chic, local and not too pricey. I was delighted to note the Menu du Jour on the Orrery website at £26 for three courses. Perfect. When we arrived at this D&D London-owned eatery on a beautiful summer’s evening and ascended to the smart, spacious dining room above the Conran furniture store, we were ecstatic to be offered a table on the stunning outdoor roof terrace. Our faces and moods descended at speed when we were presented with the menu which offered a choice of a £49 set menu for 3 courses or a £60 ‘Gourmand’ menu. I felt embarrassed knowing his mother would want to throw me off the roof for picking this place knowing she was paying. But after collecting myself and knowing I am always right, I signalled the waiter and asked about the £26 set menu. He wandered off and returned with this menu. When we asked why he had neglected to give us this menu (interjected by my mother-in-law saying ‘because he has been trained not to’) he muttered some nonsense about this offer being available through a partner promotion – despite me saying it was listed on the menu section of their own website. It then turned even more ‘Fawlty Towers’ when I asked if there was an a la carte menu to which the waiter pointed back to the £49 and £60 menu. ‘But these are set menus for 3 courses…what if I just want a main’ I innocently asked. ‘Yes you can have just a main’ he replied. ‘But how much are the main dishes – they are not individually priced’ I promoted. ‘Mmm, well you can say between £20 to £25 for mains and between £15 to £18 for starters’. As he left we all stared at each other in disbelief and burst out laughing wondering when we entered the Twilight Zone. The waiter returned to present a corked wine to ‘him’ and when ‘he said’ it smelt funny the waiter returned with a new wine and a sarcastic offering of ‘it wasn’t funny it was obviously corked’.  Setting aside the ridiculous charade above, the food, setting and price (as excruciating as it was to obtain) was fantastic. I ordered from the £26 menu (!) and had a mackerel starter, a Provencal stuffed vegetable main and roasted fig dessert. Good portions and flavours. The meal was interspersed with various amuse bouche including delicious chocolate truffles with our bill. The rooftop was wonderfully peaceful and atmospheric; it’s rare to find such a spot in London. Orrery really is a wonderful place. Don’t let the outrageous behaviour above put you off – just remember to ask for all the menus and give your wine a good sniff.

He said: another day another walk down memory lane. We’d tried this local years ago after a particularly bad day, figuring that every bad should be balanced by a good. This time the family was in town, which wasn’t so bad but still a nice meal was in order. The big draw of Orrery for me is the roof terrace, up a flight of stairs from the main room, and with seating just half dozen tables. This secluded spot with a view of tree tops and sky has got to be among the best in central London; no pickpockets, no junkies begging for a ‘fare home’, no irritating mime artists trying to break out of their damned box. Just peace, and tasty eats. The food was exactly what you’d expect; at the upper end and towards the French side of the Conran-style kitchen. Service was excellent, but the waiter had clearly been briefed by management to present only the degustation menu at £50-60. She’d done her homework and knew all about the great-value £26 set menu. Getting it, and more info on the mysteriously-price a la carte was pure comedy. Then the carafe of wine arrived, smelling so much of Mo Farah’s socks that no-one opening the bottle could’ve missed it was corked… It all started looking a lot like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. This is not a place to go if you’ve just finished your anger management course. On principle I would never go back to Orrery just for that unforgivable fleece-the-punters stunt. But despite their best efforts we still had a really good meal at Orrery and I would recommend it – just keep calm.

Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, Angel Building, London EC1V 4AB

Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, Angel Building, London EC1V 4AB

31/08/2013

www.naamyaa.com/

She said: It was a lovely sunny day and we thought we’d cycle to Angel and meander around the antique shops. He wanted to eat at the shiny, contemporary looking Thai place we passed last week and though I was on the fence I did like the space so in we went. Naamyaa is of the Busaba ilk – trendy, modern interior, open kitchen and accessible menu of appealing dishes. I really liked the sound of the 48 hour braised mackerel so put in my order only to be told they didn’t have it. Not a great start. Still, there were other choices I had my eye on so went for the Prawn Green curry. To start we shared some spring rolls which were good. But when my Prawn curry arrived I managed to identify four small prawns and not much else. Very cheeky. Luckily we had ordered a side of Morning Glory which was salty but fine and I shared some of his Aubergine pot which was juicy but again far too salty. It’s a shame really as Naamyaa has that feel of a great local find, until you get to the food. The only reason we were upbeat on leaving was because our joyous dining discount card meant we paid £20 instead of £40, taking the sting out of a disappointing Thai experience.

He said: Naamyaa is definitely the kind of place being developed with franchising in mind: really strong brand ID (imagine Giraffe meats Busaba) and designed down to the most minute detail. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The menu is wide-ranging, pan-Asian rather than strictly Thai, with lots of choice for all times of day, including breakfast, and mid-priced. The food we ordered was just okay: it looked good on the plate, came in decent portions for the vegetarian things, but was so salty that it was hard to pick-up that magic simultaneous sweet/sour/spicy trick that Thais do so well. I was really excited to go here, having a soft-spot for sugar-high interior design, but the food was kind of a let-down. Drinks were good though, so maybe this is the place to go with the gang, sharing a whole bunch of small plates to keep yer heads screwed-on longer. That could be a good night actually: Naamyaa has a good energy to it; and, with all that drinking and peeing, the extra salt will probably come in handy.

Aqua Shard, Level 31, The Shard 31 St Thomas Street, London SE1 9RY

Aqua Shard, Level 31, The Shard  31 St Thomas Street, London SE1 9RY

29/08/2013

www.aquashard.co.uk

She said: We picked Europe’s tallest tower as an appropriate venue to mark the lofty milestone of mum turning 77. Wow. This was an amazing experience. After reading poor reviews about snooty service and high prices in Oblix the floor above, I decided to book Aqua on the 31st floor of the Shard. From the second we arrived we were greeted with enthusiasm. The first impression is breathtaking: a vast, open space with floor to ceiling windows and double height ceiling draws you into Aqua with a bar area on one side and dining on the other. We decided to have cocktails in the bar first and were seated by a window with spectacular views of London. The cocktail menu offered great choice at the higher (but not crazy) prices you would expect for the location at around £12. We then moved to the smart, contemporary dining area where further stunning views greeted us. The set menu at £28 for three courses was fantastic value and the food faultless. I started with the cured-wild seabass which was light with subtle flavours and followed this with a delicious barley risotto which I held back from finishing to allow room for dessert. I’m glad I did as dessert was an irresistible chocolate millefeuille. The service was friendly, personable and attentive and included a birthday plate with candle for mum which added to this special experience. I cannot imagine picking anywhere better to celebrate edging closer to 80 and the whole dining party were full of praise and smiles. I loved Aqua and am looking forward to going back – again and again. This place will suit any occasion, work or play.

He said: This was a very, very pleasant surprise. And I don’t mean because of the view, or the incredibly large, uniquely un-London room, both of which have got the X Factor in spades. No, I mean the food. This will sound horribly ungrateful, but most fine dining is so paint-by-numbers, so samey-samey, that you don’t even notice it – like some Norman Foster airport or office block: you kind of remember it, but you’re not too sure where or what. Aqua Shard could easily have dished out the same ol’ international slop; their proposition is so unique that the room would have been just as full as when we went. But no: Aqua Man clearly cares: each of my plates had it all: great ingredients, presentation, textures, flavours, and, not least, man-sized portions. I had the carrot salad (three varieties: yellow, purple, and familiar orange) with its mellow pesto dressing and ricotta; then the barley risotto; then the chocolate mille-feuille, all of which I would gladly have again. I am soooo glad that these guys didn’t go down the lazy route. You might think that’s because the rent is so eye-poppingly high that they have to deliver to pay the man; but in fact, cynical reader, at £28 my à la carte was great value, and a bargain compared to most places with much less to offer but much more attitude. Really the only negative about Aqua Shard is the strange, gastroenteritis-sounding name. You should go: it’s definitely the top table in London at the moment.

The Swan at The Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, Bankside, London SE1 9DT

The Swan at The Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, Bankside, London SE1 9DT

26/08/2013

www.loveswan.co.uk/shakespearesglobe

She said: I had been wanting to try the restaurant at Shakespeare’s Globe theatre but felt it should only be with a visit to the actual theatre. Since I’m not a Shakespeare fan this seemed unlikely until today when the Globe put on a play unrelated to the Bard. Yes. The restaurant space, on the top floor (with a bar below) is impressive. A long, classic yet contemporary room that is warm and inviting. It offers splendid views of St Paul’s and the activity along the Thames. This is the place to come to impress visiting friends and relatives. I’m always dubious about restaurants in touristy places and you can’t get more touristy than the Globe so when I ordered from the set menu (at £26.50 for 3 courses) I prayed it wouldn’t disappoint. My starter goats cheese salad was adequate, good enough. Unfortunately my seabass main was edible but forgettable – well within that ‘tourists we’ll never see again’ cooking category. I opted for a Pineapple upside down cake to finish which was again adequate. This is a shame because if they can raise the standard of cooking (and presentation), the Swan really would be quite something. I still think it is a wonderful space, offering good service with amazing views and if you’re happy for the food to be part of the wider package it’s worth doing and indeed on this basis I expect to be back. But on days when I want to eat out to experience inventive, delicious food, I’ll go somewhere else.

He said: Who knew that one of London’s most unbearably touristy stretches, The South Bank, also had one of its most attractive dining rooms? Not me. I normally walk as fast as possible between A and B, muttering horrible things about day-tippers and the busloads of Italian school groups clogging up the pavement. But it turns out that The Globe is not just a cool theatre experience, and that above the boozer there is also a restaurant. Walking up the steps into that long room, windows all around overlooking the mighty Thames but close enough that you feel you’re in it,  barges and pleasure boats pootling around, St Paul’s graceful dome dominating the background – now that makes an impression! It turns out that the food is not quite up to it. Maybe I ordered wrong, or maybe it was an off day, but it was basically pub food dressed posh, and I don’t mean the mysteriously awesome pub food you can get in so many random and hidden country spots. The place looked Roux or Galvin, but the food is in fact more Wetherspoon’s. As long as you remember that, and don’t order too adventurously then you will have a great night. This is a really special spot, and I would happily make it a regular Sunday outing, if it wasn’t so damned hard walking through all those people!

Little Georgia, 14 Barnsbury Road, London N1 OHB

Little Georgia, 14 Barnsbury Road, London N1 OHB

25/08/2013

www.littlegeorgia.co.uk

She said: He loves Georgian food so we hit Little Georgia after a show at Saddlers Wells in Angel. What a pleasant surprise. Given the basic website and the ‘conversation by delayed satellite’ way in which I made the reservation with a sweet dear on the phone, I was expecting a small, simple family kitchen. However, Little Georgia is housed in a beautiful converted corner pub with Georgian newsprint wallpaper, posters and other paraphernalia adorning the inside. The menu contained all the classics and the portions were big which meant we reverted to our over-ordering-type. We shared a delicious beetroot salad (which he was so impressed by he subsequently has made it at home); a giant bowl of borscht; badrijnis salad which contained succulent aubergine and my favourite – kotnis lobio, a warming bean stew. We also had the traditional Georgian cheese bread ‘khachapuri’ which was actually my least favourite as the bread was thick and heavy and the cheese slightly sour (maybe that’s how it’s meant to be) but overall this was a spectacular meal at good value. The total bill came to just over £30 and we left feeling heavy and happy.

He said: Little Georgia deserves to be packed to the rafters every night. But I don’t know how it would cope if it was: what’s great about this place is that it tastes just like home-cooked food & I’m sure that if you went into the kitchen there would be no-one else but a slightly plump Mum with a paisley shawl on her head and a mouth half-filled with gold teeth, working though a cloud of order slips. We went on a Sunday night, with room for dozens more, and waited god knows how long for our food. But it was worth every second. Nearly every dish we tried was the best version of that dish we’d had in any of London’s surprisingly many Georgian restaurants. The borshcht was killer, the aubergine caponata-type thing was killer, the beetroot salad was so good that the second I went home I scribbled the ingredients on the shopping list so that I could make it myself in case of emergency. Just the lobio was a bit of a let-down. If you haven’t had it before Georgian food is similar to middle eastern food with echoes of Iranian; but it is also the very best, most evolved version of that tradition. It’s all familiar, but indescribably and so satisfyingly different. Lots of hidden walnut, pomegranate etc. So, so good. When you mention Georgian food the dish that everybody bangs-on about is kacha puri (flat bread with cheese baked-in), which is great comfort food if you’ve just escaped from months of captivity in some Chechen hell-hole, but it’s kinda ‘meh’ compared to everything else. Here it was really very good: the bread fluffy, and the cheese not fatty. But next time I will have lobiani (the same thing except with a heady kidney-bean mash instead of cheese). Please let it be soon!

Picture, 110 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6PQ

Picture, 110 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6PQ

24/08/2013

www.picturerestaurant.co.uk

She said: He returned from a business trip early so I picked Picture for a lunchtime catch up. It was a lovely contrast to step in out of the grey, rainy London day into a bright, long, modern space with wooden floors and a glass roof at the rear of the room, which is where we were seated. The set lunchtime menu at £15 was fantastic value and each dish perfectly delicious. My tomato salad starter was full of flavour bursting from the different coloured tomatoes which mixed perfectly with cucumber and goats cheese. The haddock risotto was not what I expected (a piece of nicely cooked haddock placed a top some delicious risotto instead of the fish being mixed in which was my misgiving) and a chocolate mousse of the highest quality with summer berries to finish. At the end of the meal I felt comfortably satisfied as opposed to stuffed which suited me but I guess the dishes could each have been a bit bigger but I really shouldn’t complain as Picture offers a lovely smart yet relaxed space, good service and inventive food at great prices. More reason why it was sad we were the only diners – London, stop jumping on the same-ole-same-ole restaurant bandwagon and get wise to restaurants like Picture which should easily be a Fitzrovia favourite.

He said: I’m so glad that she somehow got Picture on her radar – no easy feat, I tell you: we’d walked past this place a few times, and never really noticed it. The shop-front is narrow and done-up very soberly – on previous walk-bys I thought that it was some hip Antipodean coffee bar and dismissed it. How quickly things can change. I liked everything about Picture: the lo-fi décor, the very seasonal ingredients, the incredibly cheap set menu; and I especially liked that it’s close to our place, not in Soho, and feels like your own little secret gem. This is definitely the kind of restaurant that I want in my ‘hood. Take people here if you want to seem like the clever clog that floats above all the trends. My only gripe is that the portions were small, but who can complain at £15 for 3 courses, and they didn’t mind us stretching it out for a couple of hours. If anyone is reading this, please go: we were practically the only people there on the day. God bless Picture. Amen.

Tandis, 73 Haverstock Hill, Belsize Park, London NW3 4SL

Tandis, 73 Haverstock Hill, Belsize Park, London NW3 4SL

17/08/2013

http://tandis-belsizepark.co.uk

She said: We were in the mood for some good Persian food and remembered Tandis which we had visited a while ago. This neighbourhood restaurant is easy to miss unassumingly set back on a main road but miss it at your peril. Tandis is the real thing. Fantastic Persian food at good value. The space itself has the standard local feel: contemporary but family. The menu is huge and offers the full range of Persian dishes with lots for vegetarians. Portions are generous and though we wanted to order most things we forced ourselves to be realistic. I had the ‘Aloo Esfenaaj’ which is a superb, moreish stew containing amongst other things, spinach and dried plums in a tangy sauce. I shared his ‘Ghormeh Sabzi’ which was a stew of beans and potato with dried limes which again was delicious. We also shared a starter of ‘Loobiya’ which are warm mixed beans in a tomato sauce (not dissimilar to baked beans). Including soft drinks the bill came to £27. We love this place – and it inspired him to buy a Persian cookery book.

He said: Of the various Persian restaurants we’ve tried I think this is the one that we like the best (in London). I’m not sure if it’s because it’s actually the best, or because it serves this stunning spinach-and-plums stew which we haven’t found anywhere else – vegetarians of London go and check this dish out! It’s really great. The food at Tandis is nice, but let’s be honest - it is in NW3 and a drag getting there. Whereas we live pretty close to Edgware Road where there must be at least half a dozen Persian restaurants on two or three bocks. I’ve totally fallen in love with Iranian cooking, so I hope that we go and try them all out soon – watch this space. Until then I’m sure we will keep making the pilgrimage to Tandis. By the way, the décor here is far removed from the usual ‘Cyrus’s Palace’ vibe; so if you’re allergic to statues of lions and gold everywhere, then this is the place for you.

The Lockhart, 24 Seymour Place, London W1H 7NL

10/08/2013

http://lockhartlondon.com/ 

She said: He read about The Lockhart in a magazine and as people that like to think we’re in the know about the local eating goings-on we made a beeline for this contemporary ‘tex mex’. On first impressions, The Lockhart appears more like a fancy Spanish tapas place with rustic wooden tables and chairs and little tapas-sounding dishes on the menu. So we were curious to try this new approach to tex-mex. We ordered a mix of dishes including black bean enchiladas and crispy okra bites and a side of mac ‘n’ cheese. The experience was mixed. Some dishes, like the okra had no flavour and were underwhelming. While the enchiladas and pasta were tasty but portions a bit on the small side. Restaurants usually leave an impression, be it good or bad whereas The Lockhart, like it’s food, was pleasant enough but easily forgettable. A good enough local place if you’re in the neighbourhood and happy with good enough.

He said: The menu looked really promising so, wanting to try it all, I decided to skip mains and just have a bunch of small plates. The mac and cheese was very nice (although not as nice as at Automat) but the crab hush puppies and okra bites were both kind of bland, unless you slathered them in the dipping sauces, which seems wrong. Before going I really wanted to like this place, but I left feeling a little lukewarm about it. There’s lots left on the menu to try, which I hope to do soon; but really I think of this place more as nice, different place to hang out, rather than destination dining.

Baltic, 74 Blackfriars Rd London SE1 8AH

Baltic, 74 Blackfriars Rd  London SE1 8AH

04/08/2013

www.balticrestaurant.co.uk

She said: Armed with a new restaurant discount card and in the area after attempting and failing to get into the Guinness Book of World Records thank to an abysmally organised event by ‘Ride London’, we hit Baltic for digestive respite. Promoted as ‘Eastern European’ Baltic is a delightful surprise. You enter an unassuming dark entrance next to a neighbourhood pub and pass a long bar which then opens into a vast, stunning, contemporary dining space bursting with natural light coming through the skylights above a 40 foot wood-beamed ceiling. This former 18th Century coach builder’s works offers a wonderful mix of dishes that blend traditional and contemporary foods from places such as Georgia, Poland and Russia along with a long list of flavoured vodka shots which are hard to resist. I started with a fig, smoked artichoke and rocket salad which was heavenly, achieving the perfect mix of salty and sweet; I followed this with the salmon blini but mistakenly ordered the main sized portion which came with four warm, saucer sized blinis and ample salmon; the starter portion of two blinis would have allowed room for dessert, which I sadly had to pass on despite the superb range of options. Service was efficient and pleasant and the atmosphere at Baltic is chic, smart and  yet relaxed. The bill was reasonable for such fine food and setting at £30 for two (including £20 off with our discount)! Baltic is one to come back to.

He said: as if we didn’t eat in restaurants enough as it is, we now have a card that gives us 50% off in a bunch of places. It’s like giving crack to Lance Armstrong, or a loaded gun to a baby. Totally irresponsible. But it turns out that Baltic is giving love away, and so we had to go. This is a place that we discovered a decade ago, but like most places that we like, we tell ourselves we’ll go back but then we don’t. Except that in Baltic’s case there was a good reason – it burned down some time ago, and had to be rebuilt. The place looks great: the bright, modern dining room and its cathedral-height ceiling cunningly concealed behind a dark and narrow front of house. Miles away from the rustic Polish village thing, and definite wow factor. And park any stereotypes that you may have about Eastern European food (donkey sausages, pork & potato milkshakes, etc): Baltic makes all the classics but with a very light touch. Of course I had to have the pirogi which here were fluffy pillows of potato and cheese under a thin, lightly fried skin of dough. I shovelled them in. Then I followed with blinis served with finely chopped mushrooms, cucumber in yogurt, and aubergine caviar (like baba ganoush) – so much better than the more usual salmon version. Most Slavic people have got a totally irrational and deeply passionate thing for mushrooms, so it was really great to see this on the menu. Add to this superb food a vast array of flavoured wodkas and you’ve got a winner. It’s no wonder that Baltic has been kicking butt for more than a decade. I’d love for this place to be around the corner from me.

Grain Store, Granary Square, 1-3 Stable Street, N1C 4AB

Grain Store, Granary Square, 1-3 Stable Street, N1C 4AB

26/07/2013

www.grainstore.com

She said: The ongoing transformation of the King’s Cross area is resulting in the creation of a contemporary-industrial, food and arts hub within the former warehouses and canal-side derelict buildings…Granary Square is now a great open square with balletic fountains, the University of the Arts and a number of urban chic restaurants of which Grain Store is one. The outdoor terrace was very appealing overlooking the life of the square but we decided to eat inside and enjoy the open kitchen and modern yet rustic- interior. Despite walking into an almost empty restaurant we were informed we could only have a seat at the bar; when I scoffed we were offered two seats next to each other at a long, empty communal table. As we hadn’t reserved we accepted so I was miffed when on leaving only a handful of tables were actually being used (what’s that about)? Moving on however, the food was fantastic. I had a beetroot, pickled onion and labneh starter which was light but full of flavour and I ‘tried’ some of his courgette, chick pea and prawn falafel which was extremely moreish. For mains I has the starter special of truffle risotto which was absolutely delicious and very rich so the starter portion worked perfectly as a main. The dessert menu options were equally creative but I was craving chocolate (which was absent) so we settled our bill - £45 including one beer and one juice - and went on our merry, happy way. Will definitely be back ( if seated properly).

He said: it’s pretty amazing what’s going on in Kings Cross. In the blink of an eye all the ‘character’ (ie zombie junkies, limping prostitutes, vomiting suburban clubbers, sketchy baldies clutching brown paper bags, etc.) have all been swept away and replaced with the kind of breezy, fun, and optimistic town planning that is so nice it’s almost Canadian. I know we Londoners have grown only to like things that are a struggle and/or almost good, but go check out this Brave New Corner of our old city; so different that it’s almost its own little mini state, like Christiana, in Copenhagen, minus the drugs. We hit Grain Store after sweating-up an appetite roller-skating to the oldies at the pop-up roller disco nearby(!). Grain Store, like the New Kings Cross, is bright, breezy, urbane and international – I mean, look at what I had to eat: falafels made of broad beans, courgette and prawns, followed by vegetarian merguez in a bun. Wow. This is seriously mixed-up, jabberwocky, post-modern stuff. The falafel was awesome, though the prawn was a little lost and perhaps unnecessary. The veggie merguez was a let down: the ‘sausage’ was too dry and not spicy enough, the bun also too dry, and the relish too sweet. I must have had a duff one, because there’s no way Chef would munch this and keep it on the menu.  I grew up in an area with lots of Moroccans, and gobbled a lot of these in my pre-veggie days. Merguez is like my Madeleine.  It’s unique and one of those foods that definitely deserves UNESCO protection, or whatever. Perhaps a good veggie one is an aberration, like a London where everything works. But I applaud Grain Store for the attempt, and I will try this again.

Dabbous, 39 Whitfield Street W1T 2SF

Dabbous, 39 Whitfield Street W1T 2SF

23/07/2013

www.dabbous.co.uk

She said: There has been endless buzz around Dabbous and chatter about how hard it is to get a table. Given Dabbous is in our neighbourhood and a weak moment when time was a state of mind, I booked a table for two receiving an availability of three months in the future. So, what sort or restaurant deserves to make its customers wait three months for the privilege of dining there and would its reputation and the wait be justified? For me simply, no. Don’t get me wrong; Dabbous is a lovely, contemporary restaurant on an unassuming corner of Fitzrovia. The 4-course lunch set menu at £28 is a measured price for well fashioned food – the sort that offers small but pretty and creative presentations. First was a couple of layers of raw onions or ‘alliums’ in a chilled pine infusion; second a relatively straightforward but juicy corn on the cob with a salty-sweet butter and herb dressing; third a simple mackerel but with a delicious cucumber and herb accompaniment in a creamy, mayo-like sauce (I didn’t catch the fancy name for this one); and finally, to my disappointment, strawberries and ice cream for dessert – with not a chocolate in sight (fruit – even with ice cream has for me never constituted dessert). At the end of the meal I felt comfortable, content but not blown away. The food almost felt healthy (I suppose a good thing), the service was good, the setting – a cross between Scandinavian and industrial – created a modern yet intimate feel yet I couldn’t help but wonder what makes Dabbous better than so many other lovely places in London which have equally creative food in pleasant settings at fair prices? He noted there were around four empty tables over our 2-hour dining period…If you’re hungry and there’s a table – go; but if you have to wait more than a week I would go elsewhere.

He said: Think way back to history class, when you were 15 or 16, learning about the French Revolution. Remember? Yes, ok. Stop with the guillotine and the cakes for a minute. Right, good songs, but no: Russell Crowe wasn’t there. The whole thing was about rising expectations in the populace, and the ruling elite/government not being able to deliver fast enough. So it is with Dabbous. If you’re told that you have to wait months for a table, say OK, and actually remember the booking three months later and turn up, then you’re going to be  looking for more than if you’d pulled into the Little Chef on the way to Norwich. Unless you’re some baying wannabe, it’s simply never going to be good enough. And that really is the nut of the problem with Dabbous: it’s been murdered by the hype –every wagging tongue, every review adding to its agonizing death by a thousand cuts. The thing is that I actually liked Dabbous, despite being primed to hate it before even walking in, like you do about anywhere popular if you’re a snob like me. It’s a thoughtful place that hits the right balance every step of the way: small corner site but spacious, lots of windows but intimate, pared down design but cosy, big reputation but friendly, sophisticated but laid-back, food inventive but not wanky, etc. It was all really nice, good value, everything tasty, and I would gladly go back. But you can get all this elsewhere in London without having to plan months in advance. I’m thrilled for Dabbous that he’s basking in all this adulation, but this frenzy is all mass delusion. You would think that the Communards are coming and that fine food has been banned.

Vetiver, Chewton Glen Hotel and Spa, New Milton, New Forest, BH25 6QS

Vetiver, Chewton Glen Hotel and Spa, New Milton, New Forest, BH25 6QS

12/07/2013

www.chewtonglen.com/restaurant

She said: This was his surprise ‘slap up’ meal for his birthday. After a breathtaking bike ride through the New Forest, then competing with trucks and buses on the A337 for way longer than expected, we pedalled into this Relaix & Chateaux haven, changed into respectable clothes in the ‘powder room’ and ordered some pre-dinner cocktails from the lovely outdoor terrace overlooking the croquet lawn. The service was slow – we had to find our own drinks menus from the bar and the drinks took about 20 minutes to come but were worth the wait (I had the unconventional post-dinner drink of Espresso Martini). We were then shown to our table in a beautiful glasshouse dining room, with views overlooking the estate. Staff had a birthday card ready on the table for him which was a nice touch. I have to say, from beginning to almost the end, Vetiver was wonderful. I opted for the great value £25 three course set menu, kicking off with a heavenly red pepper and gorgonzola risotto perfectly sized for a starter; followed by a delicious fish for main and then a raspberry and white chocolate cake for dessert. As an additional surprise the waiter brought a second ‘birthday cake’ dessert for him which I ‘helped’ with – a delicious chocolate mouse cake, complete with candle. The only slight hitch was when we got the bill and a mysterious £32 had been added in relation to mythical alcohol which took some time to correct but all was well in the end making this a top, classy, lovely choice for the New Forest (just ignore the man in his towelling robe wandering aimlessly up and down the gardens outside).

He said: over the last two million years or so of human evolution a few truism have gradually gained enough axiomatic power to be carved onto stone tablets: for instance, the grass is always greener on the other side, or don’t eat the yellow snow. But in this age of ‘instant everything’ nothing is truer than that old favourite: it’s the journey not the destination. Such it was on this blessed day of my birth 2013. I had no idea where we were going for lunch that day, but getting there was spectacular, involving mountain-biking through miles of stunning English countryside, and avoiding the occasional truck. Eventually we got to Chewton Glen, a country pile turned hotel which, I believe, specializes in rooms in tree-houses. Cool, but we weren’t there for rest or midday hanky-panky, but to replenish the 2000+ calories evaporated on the ride over. I kicked things off with a chilled pea soup, and followed with a quinoa-stuffed tomato which may sound kind of 1972 and lumpy (like me) but was actually delish and absolutely gorgeous on the plate. She and Me have argued lately about whether or not to include photos on this blog. Obviously I’m firmly against, since chances are nil that you will have the same as me, but this really was something to look at: round tomato centred in a gleaming white round plate with a drizzle of vibrant green olive oil, and a scatter of top-of-the-stem basil leaves. Wow, very beautiful. Desert was a white chocolate and raspberry tart; nice. It’s not often that I’m full after lunch in this kind of place, which I was today. So, of course, what arrives next but my surprise birthday chocolate mousse (cf. Sod’s Law), which was excellent but would’ve been even nicer right after I got off my bike. I’m a big fan of country restaurants which, in my experience, try hard to do things right, to motivate everyone to get in their cars and drive miles and miles avoiding countless kamikaze cyclists to get there. Chewton Glen didn’t disappoint me or, evidently, the rest of the very full dining room.

Ceviche, 17 Frith Street, London W1D 4RG

Ceviche, 17 Frith Street, London W1D 4RG

27/05/2013

www.cevicheuk.com

She said: My preconceptions of an ‘affected’ trendy, over-hyped Soho joint were blown away following our meal at Ceviche. On entering a slightly pokey space with dining tables at a bar we passed into a bright, open and colourful dining space at the rear of the restaurant. The menu contained a fantastic choice of south American tapas making it a challenge to contain ourselves to what we could actually eat. After he said I should choose three and he would do the same we were presented with a series of mouth-watering dishes that were absolute perfection. This ranged from a juicy wasabi ceviche with excellent quality seabass to a potato cake layered avocado and ginger to a delicious wok cooked vegetable quinoa unlike anything I’ve had before. We’ve done the rounds of quite a few south American places recently and Ceviche is my favourite for overall quality and originality of food, friendly and efficient service in a welcoming dining space at a reasonable price - £50 excluding drinks. Will be back for more.

He said: sometimes you should believe the hype. There’s been a lot of chatter about Ceviche, and that, combined with the fact that it’s in Soho, was enough to keep it far down our list of places to hit. What a mistake! I can’t wait to go back already. There’s something inherently winning about Peruvian food (as we know it here, anyways) – the novelty of the flavours and ingredients would thrill even the most jaded foodie. But Ceviche adds to this an informality and authenticity that I haven’t felt in the other places, which tend to pitch this cuisine as something deluxe. But I’m guessing that a lot of these dishes are everyday things for Joe Lima. We’ll find out, as we’re off to Peru soon. It also helps that Ceviche is quite a bit cheaper than the others.

Cucina Asellina, Melia Hotel, 336-7 The Strand, London WC2R 1HA

Cucina Asellina, Melia Hotel, 336-7 The Strand, London WC2R 1HA

19/05/2013

www.asellina.com

She said: After attending a fantastic talk on Humiliation at Conway Hall we were hungry and needed to find somewhere close. I remembered this Italian in the new Melia hotel sitting at the top of The Strand. I was a little hesitant on entering to find not a single diner inside – and from the outside it looked closed probably due to the darkened windows and lack of activity inside but we decided to stay. I’m so glad we did. Asellina is a large contemporary dining space to suit any occasion. I ordered a prawn flatbread pizza which was heavenly and good value at £12. I tried some of his lasagne which was equally good. The service seemed a little haphazard or inexperienced (we were served by four different waiters – that last one proactively asking if we wanted to bill rather than the option to see a dessert menu so we accepted his forthright offer) but it is especially a great pick for lunch or a pre-theatre meal that sets itself apart from the tourist offers inside Covent Garden. As a fortunate bonus, on leaving Asellina I remembered the Melia has a rooftop bar ‘Radio’ and asked the maitre d’ if we could pop up; not only was she super courteous in leading us there, she brokered two free cocktail vouchers from the Concierge so we immediately fell in love with her. Radio has the genuine ‘wow’ factor – the lifts open into a glassed restaurant leading to a wide open terrace with magnificent views of the best of London’s skyline. We took a seat at a perfectly positioned table and I enjoyed a heavenly Martini as we spent an afternoon thumbing through the Sunday Times. Speakers poured out a slightly strange mix of tunes from perfect Sunday soul and ‘lounge’ music to over hyper dance and 80’s nostalgia. However, the experience was made even more perfect as the sun decided to shine down despite reported rain. This was a wonderful, special afternoon and we will definitely be back – both to the Italian but also to try to rooftop restaurant and enjoy more drinks on one of the best rooftops in London. But don’t tell anyone as I don’t want it to become over-run.

He said: The Melia Hotel recently landed like a futuristic spaceship of cool right onto the dull and forbidding traffic island known as the Aldwych. The contrast with the rest of the neighbourhood is pretty startling when you first step in: it’s definitely more Dubai than London, but that’s no bad thing. The dining room at Cucina Asellina was built on an ambitious scale, which on our visit only highlighted the fact that we were the only dinners. It’s a shame because it’s actually a nice open space done in a very spare style, and which would have a really nice buzz to it when full. But somehow I think this place is destined to never quite getting there -- its location on the edge of Theatre Land is that little bit too awkward. That suits me fine in a way, because there aren’t too many places to eat in the area that don’t get mobbed by tourists or that you could just waltz into without a booking. The food we had was very nice; her pizza was in fact very, very good. I wonder if it would pass the ‘Italian Friends’ test;  these people are so unbelievably fussy, but to me this tasted authentic enough for even the pickiest Neapolitan.  Service was a little tentative, but balanced out by the quality of food, setting and price: a main and drink each was £38 including service; not cheap but good value. On the way out She put us in the way of opportunity, having remembered the roof top bar; Fortune was smiling on us, bestowed comp drinks vouchers upon us, and delivered us onto Central London’s best rooftop bar. It’s called Radio, check this place out quickly before it’s colonized by the hordes of obnoxious Holborn professionals that work dangerously close. On a sunny Sunday afternoon it seemed like our own little secret spot – and we all know how short-lived that is in London.

Social Eating House, 58 Poland Street, London W1F 7NR

Social Eating House, 58 Poland Street, London W1F 7NR

18/05/2013

www.socialeatinghouse.com

She said: I thought we’d make it three for three and booked the third in the Atherton Social series. This time in Soho behind a modest, vintage frontage we entered into a smart, trendy yet down-to-earth brasserie. The front half near the bar has larger red banquette seating and the rear half has the greater concentration of seating with mustard coloured banquettes and a more industrial feel. The menu was impressively inventive. I opted for the prix fixe for my starter and main – both fish dishes: the salt cod fishcake to start was delicious but as per the name, salty; the Silver Mullet bouillabaisse I had for my main course was underwhelming due to its simplicity and felt something more was needed. I picked my dessert from the a la carte – a chocolate mouse with chocolate éclair. Again this was disappointing in that it didn’t match up to the sophistication of his dishes and dishes at the Social’s sister restaurants: it felt more like  a diner dessert with a lump of sweet mouse in an ice cream dish with a chunky piece of dry pastry (the éclair) stuffed with salty caramel ice cream that just clashed with what I had hoped would be a delicate, fluffy, chocolate éclair. Given my comments on my food, it may therefore surprise that I actually loved Social Eating House and would definitely come back. At £18 for two courses from the Prix Fixe it’s good value; the service was great as was the setting and atmosphere. It’s about picking well. He picked well and I picked at his selection well – I’ll let him have his say but he chose much better than me and every one of his courses was perfection, including an alcoholic milkshake. It averaged out at £30 each for three courses, drinks and coffees. A welcome addition to the rather mixed Soho world of dining.

He said: Having already gushed about the other two Socials I’m a little worried about sounding like a deranged fan who would gobble-up even Atherton’s toenail clippings. So I won’t say much other than I really liked it, again. From afar the Social group’s success might looked like inexplicable voodoo or mad alchemy, but it’s really pretty simple: equal parts of quality, laid-back vibe, and fair pricing. Blindingly obvious really, so it’s baffling that Atherton seems to be one of the few headliners to have seen the light. This incarnation is the most informal of the three, although the studied coolness of the boho-chic décor might be a little too hip for some. It’s so ‘on trend’ that there was even a boozy milkshake on special (it was awesome). The menu shows the trademark joyful experimentation, which made the classic comfort food even more irresistible to me: I just had to find out what spin Social would put on mushroom on toast, and mac & cheese. Well, let me tell you: the mushrooms had  been cooked in a sealed bag (cut open at your table) with cep puree which delivered a really deep, intense flavour. Mushrooms with a capital m, underlined, and highlighted. Wow. I will go back just for that. As for the mac & cheese, plenty of others have tried to ponce-up this student staple before, which invariably seems like gilding a turd; the toxic yellow, powdered cheese version might be crap but it’s still usually best. But not today, Social’s version was a real winner: no tsunami of cheesy sludge here; instead the pasta was coated with just enough of a thin yet intensely rich sauce. I have no idea what the kitchen did here, but it worked really well. £18 had never been better spent on two course before. Desert was a delicious almond sponge soaked in London honey (such a thing exists: walking home last night I saw two dudes in bee-suits bringing a hive down a ladder, on Wigmore Street!) – it was delicious. I said that I wouldn’t gush, so let me highlight a huge fault: She wouldn’t keep her fork out of my plates the whole bloody meal. Damn you, Social!