Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, Angel Building, London EC1V 4AB

Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, Angel Building, London EC1V 4AB

31/08/2013

www.naamyaa.com/

She said: It was a lovely sunny day and we thought we’d cycle to Angel and meander around the antique shops. He wanted to eat at the shiny, contemporary looking Thai place we passed last week and though I was on the fence I did like the space so in we went. Naamyaa is of the Busaba ilk – trendy, modern interior, open kitchen and accessible menu of appealing dishes. I really liked the sound of the 48 hour braised mackerel so put in my order only to be told they didn’t have it. Not a great start. Still, there were other choices I had my eye on so went for the Prawn Green curry. To start we shared some spring rolls which were good. But when my Prawn curry arrived I managed to identify four small prawns and not much else. Very cheeky. Luckily we had ordered a side of Morning Glory which was salty but fine and I shared some of his Aubergine pot which was juicy but again far too salty. It’s a shame really as Naamyaa has that feel of a great local find, until you get to the food. The only reason we were upbeat on leaving was because our joyous dining discount card meant we paid £20 instead of £40, taking the sting out of a disappointing Thai experience.

He said: Naamyaa is definitely the kind of place being developed with franchising in mind: really strong brand ID (imagine Giraffe meats Busaba) and designed down to the most minute detail. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The menu is wide-ranging, pan-Asian rather than strictly Thai, with lots of choice for all times of day, including breakfast, and mid-priced. The food we ordered was just okay: it looked good on the plate, came in decent portions for the vegetarian things, but was so salty that it was hard to pick-up that magic simultaneous sweet/sour/spicy trick that Thais do so well. I was really excited to go here, having a soft-spot for sugar-high interior design, but the food was kind of a let-down. Drinks were good though, so maybe this is the place to go with the gang, sharing a whole bunch of small plates to keep yer heads screwed-on longer. That could be a good night actually: Naamyaa has a good energy to it; and, with all that drinking and peeing, the extra salt will probably come in handy.

Aqua Shard, Level 31, The Shard 31 St Thomas Street, London SE1 9RY

Aqua Shard, Level 31, The Shard  31 St Thomas Street, London SE1 9RY

29/08/2013

www.aquashard.co.uk

She said: We picked Europe’s tallest tower as an appropriate venue to mark the lofty milestone of mum turning 77. Wow. This was an amazing experience. After reading poor reviews about snooty service and high prices in Oblix the floor above, I decided to book Aqua on the 31st floor of the Shard. From the second we arrived we were greeted with enthusiasm. The first impression is breathtaking: a vast, open space with floor to ceiling windows and double height ceiling draws you into Aqua with a bar area on one side and dining on the other. We decided to have cocktails in the bar first and were seated by a window with spectacular views of London. The cocktail menu offered great choice at the higher (but not crazy) prices you would expect for the location at around £12. We then moved to the smart, contemporary dining area where further stunning views greeted us. The set menu at £28 for three courses was fantastic value and the food faultless. I started with the cured-wild seabass which was light with subtle flavours and followed this with a delicious barley risotto which I held back from finishing to allow room for dessert. I’m glad I did as dessert was an irresistible chocolate millefeuille. The service was friendly, personable and attentive and included a birthday plate with candle for mum which added to this special experience. I cannot imagine picking anywhere better to celebrate edging closer to 80 and the whole dining party were full of praise and smiles. I loved Aqua and am looking forward to going back – again and again. This place will suit any occasion, work or play.

He said: This was a very, very pleasant surprise. And I don’t mean because of the view, or the incredibly large, uniquely un-London room, both of which have got the X Factor in spades. No, I mean the food. This will sound horribly ungrateful, but most fine dining is so paint-by-numbers, so samey-samey, that you don’t even notice it – like some Norman Foster airport or office block: you kind of remember it, but you’re not too sure where or what. Aqua Shard could easily have dished out the same ol’ international slop; their proposition is so unique that the room would have been just as full as when we went. But no: Aqua Man clearly cares: each of my plates had it all: great ingredients, presentation, textures, flavours, and, not least, man-sized portions. I had the carrot salad (three varieties: yellow, purple, and familiar orange) with its mellow pesto dressing and ricotta; then the barley risotto; then the chocolate mille-feuille, all of which I would gladly have again. I am soooo glad that these guys didn’t go down the lazy route. You might think that’s because the rent is so eye-poppingly high that they have to deliver to pay the man; but in fact, cynical reader, at £28 my à la carte was great value, and a bargain compared to most places with much less to offer but much more attitude. Really the only negative about Aqua Shard is the strange, gastroenteritis-sounding name. You should go: it’s definitely the top table in London at the moment.

The Swan at The Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, Bankside, London SE1 9DT

The Swan at The Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, Bankside, London SE1 9DT

26/08/2013

www.loveswan.co.uk/shakespearesglobe

She said: I had been wanting to try the restaurant at Shakespeare’s Globe theatre but felt it should only be with a visit to the actual theatre. Since I’m not a Shakespeare fan this seemed unlikely until today when the Globe put on a play unrelated to the Bard. Yes. The restaurant space, on the top floor (with a bar below) is impressive. A long, classic yet contemporary room that is warm and inviting. It offers splendid views of St Paul’s and the activity along the Thames. This is the place to come to impress visiting friends and relatives. I’m always dubious about restaurants in touristy places and you can’t get more touristy than the Globe so when I ordered from the set menu (at £26.50 for 3 courses) I prayed it wouldn’t disappoint. My starter goats cheese salad was adequate, good enough. Unfortunately my seabass main was edible but forgettable – well within that ‘tourists we’ll never see again’ cooking category. I opted for a Pineapple upside down cake to finish which was again adequate. This is a shame because if they can raise the standard of cooking (and presentation), the Swan really would be quite something. I still think it is a wonderful space, offering good service with amazing views and if you’re happy for the food to be part of the wider package it’s worth doing and indeed on this basis I expect to be back. But on days when I want to eat out to experience inventive, delicious food, I’ll go somewhere else.

He said: Who knew that one of London’s most unbearably touristy stretches, The South Bank, also had one of its most attractive dining rooms? Not me. I normally walk as fast as possible between A and B, muttering horrible things about day-tippers and the busloads of Italian school groups clogging up the pavement. But it turns out that The Globe is not just a cool theatre experience, and that above the boozer there is also a restaurant. Walking up the steps into that long room, windows all around overlooking the mighty Thames but close enough that you feel you’re in it,  barges and pleasure boats pootling around, St Paul’s graceful dome dominating the background – now that makes an impression! It turns out that the food is not quite up to it. Maybe I ordered wrong, or maybe it was an off day, but it was basically pub food dressed posh, and I don’t mean the mysteriously awesome pub food you can get in so many random and hidden country spots. The place looked Roux or Galvin, but the food is in fact more Wetherspoon’s. As long as you remember that, and don’t order too adventurously then you will have a great night. This is a really special spot, and I would happily make it a regular Sunday outing, if it wasn’t so damned hard walking through all those people!

Little Georgia, 14 Barnsbury Road, London N1 OHB

Little Georgia, 14 Barnsbury Road, London N1 OHB

25/08/2013

www.littlegeorgia.co.uk

She said: He loves Georgian food so we hit Little Georgia after a show at Saddlers Wells in Angel. What a pleasant surprise. Given the basic website and the ‘conversation by delayed satellite’ way in which I made the reservation with a sweet dear on the phone, I was expecting a small, simple family kitchen. However, Little Georgia is housed in a beautiful converted corner pub with Georgian newsprint wallpaper, posters and other paraphernalia adorning the inside. The menu contained all the classics and the portions were big which meant we reverted to our over-ordering-type. We shared a delicious beetroot salad (which he was so impressed by he subsequently has made it at home); a giant bowl of borscht; badrijnis salad which contained succulent aubergine and my favourite – kotnis lobio, a warming bean stew. We also had the traditional Georgian cheese bread ‘khachapuri’ which was actually my least favourite as the bread was thick and heavy and the cheese slightly sour (maybe that’s how it’s meant to be) but overall this was a spectacular meal at good value. The total bill came to just over £30 and we left feeling heavy and happy.

He said: Little Georgia deserves to be packed to the rafters every night. But I don’t know how it would cope if it was: what’s great about this place is that it tastes just like home-cooked food & I’m sure that if you went into the kitchen there would be no-one else but a slightly plump Mum with a paisley shawl on her head and a mouth half-filled with gold teeth, working though a cloud of order slips. We went on a Sunday night, with room for dozens more, and waited god knows how long for our food. But it was worth every second. Nearly every dish we tried was the best version of that dish we’d had in any of London’s surprisingly many Georgian restaurants. The borshcht was killer, the aubergine caponata-type thing was killer, the beetroot salad was so good that the second I went home I scribbled the ingredients on the shopping list so that I could make it myself in case of emergency. Just the lobio was a bit of a let-down. If you haven’t had it before Georgian food is similar to middle eastern food with echoes of Iranian; but it is also the very best, most evolved version of that tradition. It’s all familiar, but indescribably and so satisfyingly different. Lots of hidden walnut, pomegranate etc. So, so good. When you mention Georgian food the dish that everybody bangs-on about is kacha puri (flat bread with cheese baked-in), which is great comfort food if you’ve just escaped from months of captivity in some Chechen hell-hole, but it’s kinda ‘meh’ compared to everything else. Here it was really very good: the bread fluffy, and the cheese not fatty. But next time I will have lobiani (the same thing except with a heady kidney-bean mash instead of cheese). Please let it be soon!

Picture, 110 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6PQ

Picture, 110 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6PQ

24/08/2013

www.picturerestaurant.co.uk

She said: He returned from a business trip early so I picked Picture for a lunchtime catch up. It was a lovely contrast to step in out of the grey, rainy London day into a bright, long, modern space with wooden floors and a glass roof at the rear of the room, which is where we were seated. The set lunchtime menu at £15 was fantastic value and each dish perfectly delicious. My tomato salad starter was full of flavour bursting from the different coloured tomatoes which mixed perfectly with cucumber and goats cheese. The haddock risotto was not what I expected (a piece of nicely cooked haddock placed a top some delicious risotto instead of the fish being mixed in which was my misgiving) and a chocolate mousse of the highest quality with summer berries to finish. At the end of the meal I felt comfortably satisfied as opposed to stuffed which suited me but I guess the dishes could each have been a bit bigger but I really shouldn’t complain as Picture offers a lovely smart yet relaxed space, good service and inventive food at great prices. More reason why it was sad we were the only diners – London, stop jumping on the same-ole-same-ole restaurant bandwagon and get wise to restaurants like Picture which should easily be a Fitzrovia favourite.

He said: I’m so glad that she somehow got Picture on her radar – no easy feat, I tell you: we’d walked past this place a few times, and never really noticed it. The shop-front is narrow and done-up very soberly – on previous walk-bys I thought that it was some hip Antipodean coffee bar and dismissed it. How quickly things can change. I liked everything about Picture: the lo-fi décor, the very seasonal ingredients, the incredibly cheap set menu; and I especially liked that it’s close to our place, not in Soho, and feels like your own little secret gem. This is definitely the kind of restaurant that I want in my ‘hood. Take people here if you want to seem like the clever clog that floats above all the trends. My only gripe is that the portions were small, but who can complain at £15 for 3 courses, and they didn’t mind us stretching it out for a couple of hours. If anyone is reading this, please go: we were practically the only people there on the day. God bless Picture. Amen.

Tandis, 73 Haverstock Hill, Belsize Park, London NW3 4SL

Tandis, 73 Haverstock Hill, Belsize Park, London NW3 4SL

17/08/2013

http://tandis-belsizepark.co.uk

She said: We were in the mood for some good Persian food and remembered Tandis which we had visited a while ago. This neighbourhood restaurant is easy to miss unassumingly set back on a main road but miss it at your peril. Tandis is the real thing. Fantastic Persian food at good value. The space itself has the standard local feel: contemporary but family. The menu is huge and offers the full range of Persian dishes with lots for vegetarians. Portions are generous and though we wanted to order most things we forced ourselves to be realistic. I had the ‘Aloo Esfenaaj’ which is a superb, moreish stew containing amongst other things, spinach and dried plums in a tangy sauce. I shared his ‘Ghormeh Sabzi’ which was a stew of beans and potato with dried limes which again was delicious. We also shared a starter of ‘Loobiya’ which are warm mixed beans in a tomato sauce (not dissimilar to baked beans). Including soft drinks the bill came to £27. We love this place – and it inspired him to buy a Persian cookery book.

He said: Of the various Persian restaurants we’ve tried I think this is the one that we like the best (in London). I’m not sure if it’s because it’s actually the best, or because it serves this stunning spinach-and-plums stew which we haven’t found anywhere else – vegetarians of London go and check this dish out! It’s really great. The food at Tandis is nice, but let’s be honest - it is in NW3 and a drag getting there. Whereas we live pretty close to Edgware Road where there must be at least half a dozen Persian restaurants on two or three bocks. I’ve totally fallen in love with Iranian cooking, so I hope that we go and try them all out soon – watch this space. Until then I’m sure we will keep making the pilgrimage to Tandis. By the way, the décor here is far removed from the usual ‘Cyrus’s Palace’ vibe; so if you’re allergic to statues of lions and gold everywhere, then this is the place for you.

The Lockhart, 24 Seymour Place, London W1H 7NL

10/08/2013

http://lockhartlondon.com/ 

She said: He read about The Lockhart in a magazine and as people that like to think we’re in the know about the local eating goings-on we made a beeline for this contemporary ‘tex mex’. On first impressions, The Lockhart appears more like a fancy Spanish tapas place with rustic wooden tables and chairs and little tapas-sounding dishes on the menu. So we were curious to try this new approach to tex-mex. We ordered a mix of dishes including black bean enchiladas and crispy okra bites and a side of mac ‘n’ cheese. The experience was mixed. Some dishes, like the okra had no flavour and were underwhelming. While the enchiladas and pasta were tasty but portions a bit on the small side. Restaurants usually leave an impression, be it good or bad whereas The Lockhart, like it’s food, was pleasant enough but easily forgettable. A good enough local place if you’re in the neighbourhood and happy with good enough.

He said: The menu looked really promising so, wanting to try it all, I decided to skip mains and just have a bunch of small plates. The mac and cheese was very nice (although not as nice as at Automat) but the crab hush puppies and okra bites were both kind of bland, unless you slathered them in the dipping sauces, which seems wrong. Before going I really wanted to like this place, but I left feeling a little lukewarm about it. There’s lots left on the menu to try, which I hope to do soon; but really I think of this place more as nice, different place to hang out, rather than destination dining.

Baltic, 74 Blackfriars Rd London SE1 8AH

Baltic, 74 Blackfriars Rd  London SE1 8AH

04/08/2013

www.balticrestaurant.co.uk

She said: Armed with a new restaurant discount card and in the area after attempting and failing to get into the Guinness Book of World Records thank to an abysmally organised event by ‘Ride London’, we hit Baltic for digestive respite. Promoted as ‘Eastern European’ Baltic is a delightful surprise. You enter an unassuming dark entrance next to a neighbourhood pub and pass a long bar which then opens into a vast, stunning, contemporary dining space bursting with natural light coming through the skylights above a 40 foot wood-beamed ceiling. This former 18th Century coach builder’s works offers a wonderful mix of dishes that blend traditional and contemporary foods from places such as Georgia, Poland and Russia along with a long list of flavoured vodka shots which are hard to resist. I started with a fig, smoked artichoke and rocket salad which was heavenly, achieving the perfect mix of salty and sweet; I followed this with the salmon blini but mistakenly ordered the main sized portion which came with four warm, saucer sized blinis and ample salmon; the starter portion of two blinis would have allowed room for dessert, which I sadly had to pass on despite the superb range of options. Service was efficient and pleasant and the atmosphere at Baltic is chic, smart and  yet relaxed. The bill was reasonable for such fine food and setting at £30 for two (including £20 off with our discount)! Baltic is one to come back to.

He said: as if we didn’t eat in restaurants enough as it is, we now have a card that gives us 50% off in a bunch of places. It’s like giving crack to Lance Armstrong, or a loaded gun to a baby. Totally irresponsible. But it turns out that Baltic is giving love away, and so we had to go. This is a place that we discovered a decade ago, but like most places that we like, we tell ourselves we’ll go back but then we don’t. Except that in Baltic’s case there was a good reason – it burned down some time ago, and had to be rebuilt. The place looks great: the bright, modern dining room and its cathedral-height ceiling cunningly concealed behind a dark and narrow front of house. Miles away from the rustic Polish village thing, and definite wow factor. And park any stereotypes that you may have about Eastern European food (donkey sausages, pork & potato milkshakes, etc): Baltic makes all the classics but with a very light touch. Of course I had to have the pirogi which here were fluffy pillows of potato and cheese under a thin, lightly fried skin of dough. I shovelled them in. Then I followed with blinis served with finely chopped mushrooms, cucumber in yogurt, and aubergine caviar (like baba ganoush) – so much better than the more usual salmon version. Most Slavic people have got a totally irrational and deeply passionate thing for mushrooms, so it was really great to see this on the menu. Add to this superb food a vast array of flavoured wodkas and you’ve got a winner. It’s no wonder that Baltic has been kicking butt for more than a decade. I’d love for this place to be around the corner from me.

Grain Store, Granary Square, 1-3 Stable Street, N1C 4AB

Grain Store, Granary Square, 1-3 Stable Street, N1C 4AB

26/07/2013

www.grainstore.com

She said: The ongoing transformation of the King’s Cross area is resulting in the creation of a contemporary-industrial, food and arts hub within the former warehouses and canal-side derelict buildings…Granary Square is now a great open square with balletic fountains, the University of the Arts and a number of urban chic restaurants of which Grain Store is one. The outdoor terrace was very appealing overlooking the life of the square but we decided to eat inside and enjoy the open kitchen and modern yet rustic- interior. Despite walking into an almost empty restaurant we were informed we could only have a seat at the bar; when I scoffed we were offered two seats next to each other at a long, empty communal table. As we hadn’t reserved we accepted so I was miffed when on leaving only a handful of tables were actually being used (what’s that about)? Moving on however, the food was fantastic. I had a beetroot, pickled onion and labneh starter which was light but full of flavour and I ‘tried’ some of his courgette, chick pea and prawn falafel which was extremely moreish. For mains I has the starter special of truffle risotto which was absolutely delicious and very rich so the starter portion worked perfectly as a main. The dessert menu options were equally creative but I was craving chocolate (which was absent) so we settled our bill - £45 including one beer and one juice - and went on our merry, happy way. Will definitely be back ( if seated properly).

He said: it’s pretty amazing what’s going on in Kings Cross. In the blink of an eye all the ‘character’ (ie zombie junkies, limping prostitutes, vomiting suburban clubbers, sketchy baldies clutching brown paper bags, etc.) have all been swept away and replaced with the kind of breezy, fun, and optimistic town planning that is so nice it’s almost Canadian. I know we Londoners have grown only to like things that are a struggle and/or almost good, but go check out this Brave New Corner of our old city; so different that it’s almost its own little mini state, like Christiana, in Copenhagen, minus the drugs. We hit Grain Store after sweating-up an appetite roller-skating to the oldies at the pop-up roller disco nearby(!). Grain Store, like the New Kings Cross, is bright, breezy, urbane and international – I mean, look at what I had to eat: falafels made of broad beans, courgette and prawns, followed by vegetarian merguez in a bun. Wow. This is seriously mixed-up, jabberwocky, post-modern stuff. The falafel was awesome, though the prawn was a little lost and perhaps unnecessary. The veggie merguez was a let down: the ‘sausage’ was too dry and not spicy enough, the bun also too dry, and the relish too sweet. I must have had a duff one, because there’s no way Chef would munch this and keep it on the menu.  I grew up in an area with lots of Moroccans, and gobbled a lot of these in my pre-veggie days. Merguez is like my Madeleine.  It’s unique and one of those foods that definitely deserves UNESCO protection, or whatever. Perhaps a good veggie one is an aberration, like a London where everything works. But I applaud Grain Store for the attempt, and I will try this again.

Dabbous, 39 Whitfield Street W1T 2SF

Dabbous, 39 Whitfield Street W1T 2SF

23/07/2013

www.dabbous.co.uk

She said: There has been endless buzz around Dabbous and chatter about how hard it is to get a table. Given Dabbous is in our neighbourhood and a weak moment when time was a state of mind, I booked a table for two receiving an availability of three months in the future. So, what sort or restaurant deserves to make its customers wait three months for the privilege of dining there and would its reputation and the wait be justified? For me simply, no. Don’t get me wrong; Dabbous is a lovely, contemporary restaurant on an unassuming corner of Fitzrovia. The 4-course lunch set menu at £28 is a measured price for well fashioned food – the sort that offers small but pretty and creative presentations. First was a couple of layers of raw onions or ‘alliums’ in a chilled pine infusion; second a relatively straightforward but juicy corn on the cob with a salty-sweet butter and herb dressing; third a simple mackerel but with a delicious cucumber and herb accompaniment in a creamy, mayo-like sauce (I didn’t catch the fancy name for this one); and finally, to my disappointment, strawberries and ice cream for dessert – with not a chocolate in sight (fruit – even with ice cream has for me never constituted dessert). At the end of the meal I felt comfortable, content but not blown away. The food almost felt healthy (I suppose a good thing), the service was good, the setting – a cross between Scandinavian and industrial – created a modern yet intimate feel yet I couldn’t help but wonder what makes Dabbous better than so many other lovely places in London which have equally creative food in pleasant settings at fair prices? He noted there were around four empty tables over our 2-hour dining period…If you’re hungry and there’s a table – go; but if you have to wait more than a week I would go elsewhere.

He said: Think way back to history class, when you were 15 or 16, learning about the French Revolution. Remember? Yes, ok. Stop with the guillotine and the cakes for a minute. Right, good songs, but no: Russell Crowe wasn’t there. The whole thing was about rising expectations in the populace, and the ruling elite/government not being able to deliver fast enough. So it is with Dabbous. If you’re told that you have to wait months for a table, say OK, and actually remember the booking three months later and turn up, then you’re going to be  looking for more than if you’d pulled into the Little Chef on the way to Norwich. Unless you’re some baying wannabe, it’s simply never going to be good enough. And that really is the nut of the problem with Dabbous: it’s been murdered by the hype –every wagging tongue, every review adding to its agonizing death by a thousand cuts. The thing is that I actually liked Dabbous, despite being primed to hate it before even walking in, like you do about anywhere popular if you’re a snob like me. It’s a thoughtful place that hits the right balance every step of the way: small corner site but spacious, lots of windows but intimate, pared down design but cosy, big reputation but friendly, sophisticated but laid-back, food inventive but not wanky, etc. It was all really nice, good value, everything tasty, and I would gladly go back. But you can get all this elsewhere in London without having to plan months in advance. I’m thrilled for Dabbous that he’s basking in all this adulation, but this frenzy is all mass delusion. You would think that the Communards are coming and that fine food has been banned.

Vetiver, Chewton Glen Hotel and Spa, New Milton, New Forest, BH25 6QS

Vetiver, Chewton Glen Hotel and Spa, New Milton, New Forest, BH25 6QS

12/07/2013

www.chewtonglen.com/restaurant

She said: This was his surprise ‘slap up’ meal for his birthday. After a breathtaking bike ride through the New Forest, then competing with trucks and buses on the A337 for way longer than expected, we pedalled into this Relaix & Chateaux haven, changed into respectable clothes in the ‘powder room’ and ordered some pre-dinner cocktails from the lovely outdoor terrace overlooking the croquet lawn. The service was slow – we had to find our own drinks menus from the bar and the drinks took about 20 minutes to come but were worth the wait (I had the unconventional post-dinner drink of Espresso Martini). We were then shown to our table in a beautiful glasshouse dining room, with views overlooking the estate. Staff had a birthday card ready on the table for him which was a nice touch. I have to say, from beginning to almost the end, Vetiver was wonderful. I opted for the great value £25 three course set menu, kicking off with a heavenly red pepper and gorgonzola risotto perfectly sized for a starter; followed by a delicious fish for main and then a raspberry and white chocolate cake for dessert. As an additional surprise the waiter brought a second ‘birthday cake’ dessert for him which I ‘helped’ with – a delicious chocolate mouse cake, complete with candle. The only slight hitch was when we got the bill and a mysterious £32 had been added in relation to mythical alcohol which took some time to correct but all was well in the end making this a top, classy, lovely choice for the New Forest (just ignore the man in his towelling robe wandering aimlessly up and down the gardens outside).

He said: over the last two million years or so of human evolution a few truism have gradually gained enough axiomatic power to be carved onto stone tablets: for instance, the grass is always greener on the other side, or don’t eat the yellow snow. But in this age of ‘instant everything’ nothing is truer than that old favourite: it’s the journey not the destination. Such it was on this blessed day of my birth 2013. I had no idea where we were going for lunch that day, but getting there was spectacular, involving mountain-biking through miles of stunning English countryside, and avoiding the occasional truck. Eventually we got to Chewton Glen, a country pile turned hotel which, I believe, specializes in rooms in tree-houses. Cool, but we weren’t there for rest or midday hanky-panky, but to replenish the 2000+ calories evaporated on the ride over. I kicked things off with a chilled pea soup, and followed with a quinoa-stuffed tomato which may sound kind of 1972 and lumpy (like me) but was actually delish and absolutely gorgeous on the plate. She and Me have argued lately about whether or not to include photos on this blog. Obviously I’m firmly against, since chances are nil that you will have the same as me, but this really was something to look at: round tomato centred in a gleaming white round plate with a drizzle of vibrant green olive oil, and a scatter of top-of-the-stem basil leaves. Wow, very beautiful. Desert was a white chocolate and raspberry tart; nice. It’s not often that I’m full after lunch in this kind of place, which I was today. So, of course, what arrives next but my surprise birthday chocolate mousse (cf. Sod’s Law), which was excellent but would’ve been even nicer right after I got off my bike. I’m a big fan of country restaurants which, in my experience, try hard to do things right, to motivate everyone to get in their cars and drive miles and miles avoiding countless kamikaze cyclists to get there. Chewton Glen didn’t disappoint me or, evidently, the rest of the very full dining room.

Ceviche, 17 Frith Street, London W1D 4RG

Ceviche, 17 Frith Street, London W1D 4RG

27/05/2013

www.cevicheuk.com

She said: My preconceptions of an ‘affected’ trendy, over-hyped Soho joint were blown away following our meal at Ceviche. On entering a slightly pokey space with dining tables at a bar we passed into a bright, open and colourful dining space at the rear of the restaurant. The menu contained a fantastic choice of south American tapas making it a challenge to contain ourselves to what we could actually eat. After he said I should choose three and he would do the same we were presented with a series of mouth-watering dishes that were absolute perfection. This ranged from a juicy wasabi ceviche with excellent quality seabass to a potato cake layered avocado and ginger to a delicious wok cooked vegetable quinoa unlike anything I’ve had before. We’ve done the rounds of quite a few south American places recently and Ceviche is my favourite for overall quality and originality of food, friendly and efficient service in a welcoming dining space at a reasonable price - £50 excluding drinks. Will be back for more.

He said: sometimes you should believe the hype. There’s been a lot of chatter about Ceviche, and that, combined with the fact that it’s in Soho, was enough to keep it far down our list of places to hit. What a mistake! I can’t wait to go back already. There’s something inherently winning about Peruvian food (as we know it here, anyways) – the novelty of the flavours and ingredients would thrill even the most jaded foodie. But Ceviche adds to this an informality and authenticity that I haven’t felt in the other places, which tend to pitch this cuisine as something deluxe. But I’m guessing that a lot of these dishes are everyday things for Joe Lima. We’ll find out, as we’re off to Peru soon. It also helps that Ceviche is quite a bit cheaper than the others.

Cucina Asellina, Melia Hotel, 336-7 The Strand, London WC2R 1HA

Cucina Asellina, Melia Hotel, 336-7 The Strand, London WC2R 1HA

19/05/2013

www.asellina.com

She said: After attending a fantastic talk on Humiliation at Conway Hall we were hungry and needed to find somewhere close. I remembered this Italian in the new Melia hotel sitting at the top of The Strand. I was a little hesitant on entering to find not a single diner inside – and from the outside it looked closed probably due to the darkened windows and lack of activity inside but we decided to stay. I’m so glad we did. Asellina is a large contemporary dining space to suit any occasion. I ordered a prawn flatbread pizza which was heavenly and good value at £12. I tried some of his lasagne which was equally good. The service seemed a little haphazard or inexperienced (we were served by four different waiters – that last one proactively asking if we wanted to bill rather than the option to see a dessert menu so we accepted his forthright offer) but it is especially a great pick for lunch or a pre-theatre meal that sets itself apart from the tourist offers inside Covent Garden. As a fortunate bonus, on leaving Asellina I remembered the Melia has a rooftop bar ‘Radio’ and asked the maitre d’ if we could pop up; not only was she super courteous in leading us there, she brokered two free cocktail vouchers from the Concierge so we immediately fell in love with her. Radio has the genuine ‘wow’ factor – the lifts open into a glassed restaurant leading to a wide open terrace with magnificent views of the best of London’s skyline. We took a seat at a perfectly positioned table and I enjoyed a heavenly Martini as we spent an afternoon thumbing through the Sunday Times. Speakers poured out a slightly strange mix of tunes from perfect Sunday soul and ‘lounge’ music to over hyper dance and 80’s nostalgia. However, the experience was made even more perfect as the sun decided to shine down despite reported rain. This was a wonderful, special afternoon and we will definitely be back – both to the Italian but also to try to rooftop restaurant and enjoy more drinks on one of the best rooftops in London. But don’t tell anyone as I don’t want it to become over-run.

He said: The Melia Hotel recently landed like a futuristic spaceship of cool right onto the dull and forbidding traffic island known as the Aldwych. The contrast with the rest of the neighbourhood is pretty startling when you first step in: it’s definitely more Dubai than London, but that’s no bad thing. The dining room at Cucina Asellina was built on an ambitious scale, which on our visit only highlighted the fact that we were the only dinners. It’s a shame because it’s actually a nice open space done in a very spare style, and which would have a really nice buzz to it when full. But somehow I think this place is destined to never quite getting there -- its location on the edge of Theatre Land is that little bit too awkward. That suits me fine in a way, because there aren’t too many places to eat in the area that don’t get mobbed by tourists or that you could just waltz into without a booking. The food we had was very nice; her pizza was in fact very, very good. I wonder if it would pass the ‘Italian Friends’ test;  these people are so unbelievably fussy, but to me this tasted authentic enough for even the pickiest Neapolitan.  Service was a little tentative, but balanced out by the quality of food, setting and price: a main and drink each was £38 including service; not cheap but good value. On the way out She put us in the way of opportunity, having remembered the roof top bar; Fortune was smiling on us, bestowed comp drinks vouchers upon us, and delivered us onto Central London’s best rooftop bar. It’s called Radio, check this place out quickly before it’s colonized by the hordes of obnoxious Holborn professionals that work dangerously close. On a sunny Sunday afternoon it seemed like our own little secret spot – and we all know how short-lived that is in London.

Social Eating House, 58 Poland Street, London W1F 7NR

Social Eating House, 58 Poland Street, London W1F 7NR

18/05/2013

www.socialeatinghouse.com

She said: I thought we’d make it three for three and booked the third in the Atherton Social series. This time in Soho behind a modest, vintage frontage we entered into a smart, trendy yet down-to-earth brasserie. The front half near the bar has larger red banquette seating and the rear half has the greater concentration of seating with mustard coloured banquettes and a more industrial feel. The menu was impressively inventive. I opted for the prix fixe for my starter and main – both fish dishes: the salt cod fishcake to start was delicious but as per the name, salty; the Silver Mullet bouillabaisse I had for my main course was underwhelming due to its simplicity and felt something more was needed. I picked my dessert from the a la carte – a chocolate mouse with chocolate éclair. Again this was disappointing in that it didn’t match up to the sophistication of his dishes and dishes at the Social’s sister restaurants: it felt more like  a diner dessert with a lump of sweet mouse in an ice cream dish with a chunky piece of dry pastry (the éclair) stuffed with salty caramel ice cream that just clashed with what I had hoped would be a delicate, fluffy, chocolate éclair. Given my comments on my food, it may therefore surprise that I actually loved Social Eating House and would definitely come back. At £18 for two courses from the Prix Fixe it’s good value; the service was great as was the setting and atmosphere. It’s about picking well. He picked well and I picked at his selection well – I’ll let him have his say but he chose much better than me and every one of his courses was perfection, including an alcoholic milkshake. It averaged out at £30 each for three courses, drinks and coffees. A welcome addition to the rather mixed Soho world of dining.

He said: Having already gushed about the other two Socials I’m a little worried about sounding like a deranged fan who would gobble-up even Atherton’s toenail clippings. So I won’t say much other than I really liked it, again. From afar the Social group’s success might looked like inexplicable voodoo or mad alchemy, but it’s really pretty simple: equal parts of quality, laid-back vibe, and fair pricing. Blindingly obvious really, so it’s baffling that Atherton seems to be one of the few headliners to have seen the light. This incarnation is the most informal of the three, although the studied coolness of the boho-chic décor might be a little too hip for some. It’s so ‘on trend’ that there was even a boozy milkshake on special (it was awesome). The menu shows the trademark joyful experimentation, which made the classic comfort food even more irresistible to me: I just had to find out what spin Social would put on mushroom on toast, and mac & cheese. Well, let me tell you: the mushrooms had  been cooked in a sealed bag (cut open at your table) with cep puree which delivered a really deep, intense flavour. Mushrooms with a capital m, underlined, and highlighted. Wow. I will go back just for that. As for the mac & cheese, plenty of others have tried to ponce-up this student staple before, which invariably seems like gilding a turd; the toxic yellow, powdered cheese version might be crap but it’s still usually best. But not today, Social’s version was a real winner: no tsunami of cheesy sludge here; instead the pasta was coated with just enough of a thin yet intensely rich sauce. I have no idea what the kitchen did here, but it worked really well. £18 had never been better spent on two course before. Desert was a delicious almond sponge soaked in London honey (such a thing exists: walking home last night I saw two dudes in bee-suits bringing a hive down a ladder, on Wigmore Street!) – it was delicious. I said that I wouldn’t gush, so let me highlight a huge fault: She wouldn’t keep her fork out of my plates the whole bloody meal. Damn you, Social!

Hana, 351 West End Lane, London NW6 1LT

Hana, 351 West End Lane, London NW6 1LT

11/05/2013

www.hanarestaurant.co.uk

She said: Craving Persian food we hopped on the scooter to West Hampstead. Hana is a small neighbourhood Iranian hiding around the corner of a green at the top of West End Lane. Décor is simple, it’s the food that is such a delight and with our practice of dining in central London so often I had forgotten what ‘normal’ restaurant prices are when you move outside Zone 1. It took great restraint not to over-order mezze dishes so I stuck with a borani spinach which I scooped up with some light, warm Persian bread and I shared his Ash e Resteh which was perfectly balanced with all the right flavours of a soup that has a lot of nostalgia value for me (my best friend’s father from primary school used to make it whenever I came round to play)…For mains I had a spinach and bean Ghormez Sabzi and shared his Aubergine Khorosheth Bademjan – both delicious stews which came with fluffy rice and a cucumber, onion and tomato salad at good portion sizes. At £30 for two including soft drinks this was a lovely local dining experience with good service, great food and the sort of relaxed atmosphere that you would expect with a neighbourhood place. Hana certainly makes me want to seek out more local places outside the centre of London.

He said: Hana is a classic example of a really good neighbourhood restaurant. The cooking is attentive, the portions generous, the service friendly, and the prices reeled right back from the stratospheric heights of Central London. The presentation and setting is at the cosy suburban midway point between the usual Persian clichés of, at one end, neon lights and plastics chairs and, at the other end life-size gilt statues of Xerxes, lion fountains, gold cutlery, etc. Hana has a refreshing down-to-earth-ness which is a welcomed contrast from the feverish worshiping at the Altar of Food going on these days (but hopefully not too much in these posts). Like the famous Freud quip (‘sometimes a cigar is just a cigar’) sometimes all you want is great food without fuss and without feeling fleeced or guilty about how much you spent on it. Hana’s the place to find it. Fight the power! Support your local businesses, even if you have to take the tube a few stops further than usual.

Corner Room, 2nd Floor, Selfridges, 400 Oxford Street, London W1A 11AB

Corner Room, 2nd Floor, Selfridges, 400 Oxford Street, London W1A 1AB

06/05/2013

www.selfridges.com

She said: Though Selfridges is my favourite shopping spot in London I’ve never actually eaten in any of its restaurants and always thought of department store restaurants as a pit-stop for marathon shoppers (of which I am not one). But a quiet revolution has been taking place for a while now with department stores sharing the same realisation as museums that it’s worth throwing out the school-like canteen serving slop as there is money to be made in creating dining spaces that might be destinations in themselves. So off we went to the new Corner Room in the fashion department of Selfridges – the first restaurant of the 2012 MasterChef joint winner Keri Moss. After navigating the maze of fashion concessions on the second floor to find the Corner (which turned out to be one of the last corners we looked in) a bright, art-deco space greeted us with pale blue and blonde wood tones. The maitre-d’ was apathetic to our arrival but did his job at seating us adequately. The room is a comfortable size and the atmosphere and furnishings are equally comfortable and smart. The menu offers a good choice of British fare at prices you would expect for an eatery of this kind. I do think it is cheeky when waiters in an upmarket restaurant try to ‘up-sell’ – and my pet hate in such restaurants charging for bread but asking if you ‘would like some bread’ when you sit down with the implication it is complimentary (as it is 90% of the time in restaurants of such calibre). I’m going to call this the ‘values test’ in future – places that think they need to charge a few quid for putting some welcome bread on the table are driven by the money not the passion. I ordered the sea bream which came with a red pesto which was a decent portion and good enough but the side of greens was extremely stingy. The chocolate cake was a winner although a bit too much ice cream which then melted washing out the pure chocolate taste of the cake. Our waiter must have previously worked in a nightclub or had tinnitus given his volume and was so zealous I had to hold on to my plates and drinks for fear of him whipping them away mid-meal. I’m going to be bold and say I don’t see this place lasting if my initial observations are anything to go by; Corner Room is aspirational which is misguided looking at the casual tourists and shoppers at other tables; it has the feel of being a ‘business’ above all else and although the food was largely good and prices fine (at £70 for two for two courses and coffees), the impersonal approach left me cold.

He said: as far as food goes, it would never occur to me to go to a department store, for anything more than a snack or coffee break. It’s no different than going to a hotel, I guess, but for me it’s one of those irrational things. Maybe couch time would unearth a gruesome trauma connected to the self-serve department store meals of my youth, although I do remember those pretty fondly. If any ironic, east-end hipsters are reading this maybe there’s money to be made digging-up that particular nostalgia. So, although the food was fine, The Corner is not for me. But for ladies who lunch it must be close to ideal. It’s in the world’s best department store, the room is cosy, flooded with lots of natural light, nicely decorated in a soft, retro Scandinavian style, and the modern British menu is really well thought-through: something for everybody and all of it familiar yet gently inventive. If I actually ate dead mammals I would have found it much harder to chose. And prices are pretty good too. The things I didn’t like are minor things that you expect from a new opening and which sort themselves out over time: the service was a little off, and the maitre d’ was all wrong: I don’t think I’ve ever encountered one more sullen or disinterested; this goon must’ve been filling in. I won’t be going back because of my phobia, and because it’s not really that special, but you should try it, especially if you’re into Masterchef, or if you’re the kind of maniacal shopper who gets so caught up in the spending frenzy that her blood-sugar level drops so dangerously that immediate celebrity food is required.

Plum and Spilt Milk, Pancras Road, London N1C 4TB

Plum and Spilt Milk, Pancras Road, London N1C 4TB

05/05/2013

www.plumandspiltmilk.com

She said: He had wandered into the new Great Northern Hotel opposite St Pancras Station when early for a work-related meeting in the area and had a quick look at this hidden gem of a restaurant on the first floor. On discovering it was during its ‘soft launch’ week with 50% of the food bill we quickly made a booking for the bank holiday weekend. Despite the rather mouthful of a name, Plum and Spilt Milk is a wonderful find in the developing King’s Cross quarter. Passing a rather modest, cloakroom check-in style entrance on the ground floor to the hotel, the scene quickly changed to a soft toned staircase leading to a beautiful corner room that beamed invitingly with its vase-shaped warm lighting, bright, large windows all-around, dark, polished furnishings and beautiful banquettes. The service was friendly and enthusiastic throughout. The menu offered a good range of European dishes at reasonable prices (even without the opening promotion) which I took my time over whilst enjoying a perfect lychee and chilli martini (Oriental Express). To start, I had a mushroom tart which was heavenly; melting cheese, flaky pastry and delicious mushrooms complimented each other. I had to remind myself to savour my mouthfuls as I just wanted to get as much of it as I could as quickly as I could. I dipped into his haddock soufflé a couple of times which was also a delight. For mains, I had the pan roasted cod which came on a bed of mash and I ordered a side of honey carrots. The fish was a generous portion and cooked just right and just about left me room for desert – despite again digging into some of his artichoke ravioli which was amazing. We opted for the tarte tartin for two. After about maybe 25 minutes we were presented with complimentary champagne and strawberry sorbets ‘while we wait’ which must have been to make up for the tarte absenteeism. But when the tarte did arrive it was huge and heavenly. The caramel oozed with every bite and the apples and thin pastry conspired to make you reach for more and more. The waiter was quick to heat my tepid latte on request which worked perfectly with the tarte tartin; I kept going until I was unable to lift my spoon. Because of the promotion the whole thing came in at am amazing £54 but I would definitely return and recommend Plum wholeheartedly – be it for corporate lunches, dining with friends and family or celebrations. It’s great to see the King’s Cross area getting such a fantastic, chic, delicious addition to the dining scene.

He said: Combine the parameters `Kings Cross’, `hotel restaurant’ and `outside-the-box [i.e. dumb] name’, and expectations have hit rock-bottom. So imagine my surprise when I walked away after a languorous Sunday lunch thinking that we’d just discovered a new favourite. Everything works, from the moment you walk into the gorgeous first-floor space bathed in light flooding from windows on all three sides, to the split second before stepping back out into London’s biggest construction site. Plum hits the sweet spot bang on the nose: it’s inventive but familiar, stylish but comfortable, serious but friendly, all that and excellent value too. A lot of attention to detail has gone into this place, and it shows. Things kicked off with a delicious rum cocktail [it was after all, a balmy 11 degrees outside], then I followed with a fine soufflé of smoked haddock, and artichoke ravioli served with rocket, parmesan, spinach and a sweet reduction. For once the ravioli came in a man-sized portion; full marks to Plum for that. And to finish we shared a tarte tatin, that classic desert which, like all ‘simple’ dishes of so few ingredients divides absolutely everyone about the ‘right’ way to do it. To quote Sublime, this was the wrong way but so right. Judging by the very few other guests we are way ahead of the buzz on this one, but Plum deserves to succeed, and you should go without hesitation. Let  the tourists keep Balthazar – this is much better.

Banca, 30 North Audley Street, London W1K 6ZF

Banca, 30 North Audley Street, London W1K 6ZF
[AUGUST 2013: NOW CLOSED]

04/05/2013

www.bancarestaurant.com

She said: Banca is an upmarket Italian housed in the former NatWest bank on a corner in Mayfair. We were greeted with lots of smiles and offered to sit wherever we like on entering which was both welcoming but had a slight feel of ‘wow we have customers’ to it. He wanted to sit at a table for four which I thought was inappropriate so opted for a table for two by the window which allowed me to see the whole dining room but he the frosted street window behind me…At first glance the menu seemed pricey for what was on offer but Banca also has more reasonably priced pasta and pizza dishes. For a chi chi restaurant, when I ordered some fresh juice from a long list of great options on the drinks menu I was told that only about three of the eight options were actually available – pretty poor. I decided to skip starters and ordered the risotto with gorgonzola and courgette flowers at £18. I’m not sure the blue cheese worked and the two deep fried courgettes sitting on top were an odd choice but it was fine. I had been planning on dessert but with so many good patisseries in the neighbourhood and not being blown away by the experience I decided to give it a miss. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a lovely room, friendly and prompt service and good range of options on the menu but for the price, I think there’s just too much competition to make this one worth coming back to.

He said: the Maitre d’ seemed genuinely delighted to see us, and gave us a typically-Italian warm and friendly welcome into an equally typically-Italian stylishly appointed room. Good start, I thought. Could this become our local Italian, where we rub shoulders with the Italian glitterati, and eventually house-swap with Monica Bellucci? But the magic soon slowly fizzled-out. With the menu we were told about various things that were off that day including, strangely, about half the extensive list of fresh juices. Minor, you think – but, by lunch time on Saturday, you’d expect a serious kitchen to have all the holds barred in readiness for the big bun fight on one of the week’s most valuable nights. Never mind, these things happen sometimes. The menu had something for everybody, including pizza, and enough well-described options to cause some soul-searching. I took the plunge on a lentil salad to start, following up with monkfish and broad beans, sun-dried tomato etc. The salad was excellent, with enough pomegranate and apple to keep a generous portion interesting all the way through. But the presentation was a little unimaginative – here you go, a bowl of lentils. The monkfish made a much better impression on the plate, vivid green bean puree, deep red tomatoes, and plump white fish. I was looking forward to diving into my edible Italian flag, but at the back of my head was also the thought ‘my fish looks lonely on that big plate, could’ve been a bit more of it for £23’. It was delish, but my first bite was already lukewarm. In a way this sums up what’s wrong with Banca. The attention to detail wasn’t there; the appearance says ‘sophisticated’ but it’s not backed-up by the delivery. This would be OK almost anywhere except Mayfair where if you’re going to promise and charge like a big boy, then you’ve got to roll like a big boy. Rents are too high here to get it wrong for long. On the way out I noticed just one other table occupied, which could explain the effusive welcome…

Les Deux Salons, 40-42 William IV Street, London WC2N 4DD

Les Deux Salons, 40-42 William IV Street, London WC2N 4DD

20/04/2013

www.lesdeuxsalons.co.uk

She said: We were in the Covent Garden area and hungry when I remembered wanting to try Les Deux Salons but hadn’t until now as he never seemed enthusiastic about it. I must have caught him on an off-day as he agreed to dine here. Les Deux Salons is designed as a classic French brasserie – two floors with metro style lighting and brass railings, dark green banquettes and starched table cloths and the obligatory distressed mirrors. A glass ceiling is a central feature of the room. On entering a near empty room we were given a nice table in the centre on the ground floor. The menus and complimentary bread were quick to come but after sitting around for too long, surrounded by waiters nattering to each other and therefore oblivious to our gestures to place our order, he went up and got a waiter to come to our table. Thankfully, the food service was good. I had a beetroot salad which was light and tasty, followed by the fish pie which, for me was a bit thick on mash and light on juicy fish although he liked it. I quickly ordered a side of spinach to cut through the dryness of the fish pie which worked nicely – although the spinach was more salty than I would have liked. We had noticed a nice new cake place up the road so decided to skip dessert.

During the meal more customers arrived creating more of a buzz in this retro, smart room. The ground floor feels more classic and open although upstairs has a nice intimacy to it. In the heart of tourist-land Les Deux Salons is always going to attract more out-of-towners than locals which makes for a different atmosphere although the lack of a pre-theatre menu will take care of one segment of tourists. Les Deux Salons is a pleasant enough place with pleasant enough food and if you choose wisely, reasonable prices at £50 for two courses for two with soft drinks.

He said: push the door & you can skip the Eurostar – the atmosphere here is genuine Paris, including the sometimes indifferent service. A few things on the menu raised the eyebrow: hot dog & chips, and mac & cheese, for example; but hey, this is Convent Garden, and Billy-Bob and Marge need to eat too. Otherwise this is as convincingly ‘Brasserie’ as nearby Balthazar and Zedel. I chose the very tasty soupe du jour, priced at a democratic £2.50, followed by a kind of Gallic fish and chips: pan-fried cod, with mushy peas and potato boulangere. This was delicious but the portion of fish was a little mean, irrespective of collapsing fish stocks. Having resisted going there for so long, I had to admit reluctantly that she was right – Les Deux Salons is a very good bet for the area. I’ll definitely be trying the mac & cheese next.

The Caramel Room, The Berkeley Hotel, Wilton Place, London SW1X 7RL

The Caramel Room, The Berkeley Hotel, Wilton Place, London SW1X 7RL

12/04/2013

www.the-berkeley.co.uk

She said: Mmm, an afternoon of tea and cakes; I was looking forward to this. The Caramel Room is a fairly benign, inoffensive space by the entrance of this Knightsbridge style hotel but the unique afternoon tea certainly makes up for any lack of star-factor of the surrounds. We were seated by a large window at a perfectly set table with a place name inscribed within a cut-out fluorescent pink stiletto. The service was immaculate. We were given a full run-down of the ceremony and delicacies to come. I did struggle to keep a straight face and avoided eye-contact with him when we were shown a brochure of fashion designs upon which the Pret a Portea is modelled; to name but a few: a mouse inspired by a Burberry trench coat and umbrella; a Fendi ankle-boot biscuit; a YSL sponge handbag; and in their words not mine ‘Diane Von Furstenberg pink lady apple mousse and kalamancy cremeux topped with playful interlocking sugar puzzles’.

Our desserts were preceded by an excellent choice of sandwiches and nibbles such as mini falafel and humous, a spoon of marinated tuna, a glass of cold soup all of which were perfectly formed and pleasantly appetising. Having learned from previous afternoon teas, we paced ourselves well and tried not to fill up on the variety of teas on offer. Staff regularly checked and refreshed our tea, savouries and desserts – YES – the ultimate gold star here is that is confirmed to the ‘keep ‘em coming’ school of thought for afternoon tea allowing us to have as many rounds of whatever we wanted whenever we wanted. At £39 per head, afternoon tea at the Berkeley should be on the top 3 of anyone’s list and the novelty factor of the Pret a Portea is actually rather superb…

He said: Afternoon tea, for me, should be either very basic or very posh: a grannyish, chintzy tearoom in a faded seaside town, or the maximum luxury experience of the Savoy (see below). No-one can accuse The Berkley Hotel of being a retiring wallflower: this Knightsbridge stalwart is the first hotel that I can remember charging £15 for a drink, back when that was a lot of money. But Pret-a-Portea is, sadly, tucked into a corner, with far too little space for it to deploy its many charms. And there is a definite disconnect between its bubbly fashion vibe, and the rather dark, and masculine room. The waitress came with the menus, and it was pure David Brent cringe as she explained, at length, the Manolo inspired biscuits and other insane Fashion conceits. I hoped to see coke-addled Edina and Patsy come crashing into this bizarre Sex And the City scene. But Pret-a-Portea scores highly on food (including tasty canapés), enthusiastic service; a little takeaway box of your favourite sweets was a very nice touch. In the end, tea here was actually a fun and pleasant experience, but the concept is a little forced.

Hush, 8 Lancashire Court, Brook Street, London W1S 1EY

Hush, 8 Lancashire Court, Brook Street, London W1S 1EY

www.hush.co.uk

09/04/2013

She said: The mother-in-law was in town and we needed somewhere local. I had wanted to book ‘The Silver Room’ at Hush which is a newly decorated dining space on the first floor but was told it was closed so our table was in the ground floor dining room which is in the standard ‘contemporary’ style you see at so many restaurants these days. I have always had mixed preconceptions of Hush – it looks pretty from the pedestrian courtyard but always seemed a bit affected so I was curious to check out the reality. On arrival, very poker-faced service staff took our coats and seated us at a reasonable table. However, we had to asked at least 5 times for someone to take our cocktail orders, which at £11 a pop you wouldn’t think we’d have to insist on being able to order (after a word with the manager the service improved).

The menu is a mix of ‘European’ food at middle-of-the-range London prices. I went straight into mains after the long cocktail chase and had the cod with spinach, saffron and clam sauce which was actually very good. To follow, despite my fellow diners passing on dessert and coffee, I had a delicious sticky toffee pudding with crème fraiche and my latte arrived closely behind. We receded into ‘chase the bill’ a couple of times before putting down £110 for three people consisting of three cocktails, three mains and one dessert and coffee. On the basis of the food and location I would consider coming back to Hush, maybe to see what the Silver Room is like but would have been more confident with a less indifferent service.

He said: I arrived at Hush right off the plane from a work trip in Germany, having spent the day moaning and groaning through the last spasms of a nasty case of food poisoning. Perhaps not the best conditions for a night out, but it was planned a while ago, and I’m from the pretend-everything-is-ok school of medicine. Still, I played it safe, ordered a stiff drink as a starter (to kill-off any remaining bugs), and followed with the spiced lentils – no formerly-living creatures on my plate that might have caused a relapse. Both were perfectly nice. The main reason to come to Hush, really, is the very picturesque setting, hidden behind Bond Street on a discreet cobbled courtyard – it has a nice approach and out-of-towners will be suitably impressed with your knowledge of all the nooks and crannies. Hush also has a really nice buzzy and dimly lit atmosphere. My only gripe was that service was haphazard; perhaps they were short-staffed, but the door crew was also a little indifferent. Oh, and also, her cod came on an absurdly large plate – I mean, we’re talking stupid large. Hush, with some minor tweaking, could be really good, especially if the staff worked at making the punters feel as special as the ambiance. Incidentally, my number one tip for eating abroad outside of capital cities: don’t order fish on Monday.

Balthazar, 4-6 Russell Street, London WC2E 7BN

Balthazar, 4-6 Russell Street, London WC2E 7BN

www.balthazarlondon.com

01/04/2013

She said: I had been observing Balthazar’s development over the past few months each time I was in Covent Garden with builders and decorators transforming this great corner plot by the market. Balthazar is immediately impressive; vast ceilings, distressed, large mirrors everywhere, pristine table cloths and old-style service staff buzzing around with the array of delights on large trays on their shoulders. The bar is attractive, glistening with various bottles and glasses and the interior has an art-deco feel to it. I had requested a banquette seat when booking which they obliged in a great location in the middle of the room giving us good people-watching opportunities. We were a bit baffled when asked if we would like to order bread when we noticed other tables were being given it automatically and upon checking whether it was complimentary we were presented with a basked of delicious bread options.

The menu offers a wide choice of French-inspired dishes and I started with the goat cheese tart which was very good. To follow I had the lobster black truffle risotto which was a little too fishy and salty but good enough. I ordered the Tart Tatin for dessert but it lacked the sophistication of a true tatin with chunky, chewy apple on a thick base so I swapped with his Chocolate Rocher which was much better. That said, Balthazar offers a great setting and good enough food at okay prices (three courses and coffees for two and one cocktail came in at £78), making it somewhere I would come back to with friends and family alike.

He said: Walking out of Balthazar I overheard a lively Italian tourist telling one of his mates: ‘dis iz da ottesta tabel ina towna, Lettuce a sea iffa we canna geta ina’. The PR bods working for Balthazar clearly earned their crust – the place was barely out of soft-launch and already tourists had it on their radar. Balthazar ticks a lot of boxes: the room has the wow-factor, the location is good (if you don’t mind tourist-land) and the food works: I kicked-off with a kale salad, followed with an ‘eggplant’ sandwich – yes, this French brasserie is actually American – and topped things off with a chocolate rocher. I enjoyed it all, and the knowledge that I had ordered better than she, which is always nice but does mean that she swapped her so-so tarte tatin for my delish rocher. Balthazar also makes their bread on the spot; I confess, dear reader, to a major bread addiction. The killer bread display in the window is what actually made me want to come here first. I also enjoyed the fact that the bloody Mary had no ice in it – the only right way to make it. Things I didn’t like: the service was still very tentative, which you don’t expect from an American-run place; and the coat-check was really badly organized; we, and others were waiting by the door for a good 10 minutes waiting for our things, blocking the way while the girl evidently ran to a very far away place to fetch our things. But, on balance, these niggles can easily be sorted out. And no, Mario didn’t get a table, because Balthazar is a winner, and everybody already knows it.

Tom’s Kitchen, 27 Cale Street, London SW3 3QP

Tom’s Kitchen, 27 Cale Street, London SW3 3QP

www.tomskitchen.co.uk

31/03/2013

She said: After another pointless Saatchi exhibition, we sought out Tom’s Kitchen having eaten in many of his dad’s (Mr Conran’s) eateries. Tucked away on a residential road in Chelsea, the inside of Tom’s is a bright, contemporary space which, as the name says, feels like a big eat-in kitchen and contrasts with is former-pub exterior. Popular with Americans for some reason, the menu was a good choice of British fare but at posh prices. I had a small portion of macaroni cheese and a green salad which were fine and a pricey juice. I’m not sure if restaurants think it’s ‘atmospheric’ to have the sound of fresh coffee being grated all the time but the sound resonated through the restaurant creating more of a pneumatic drill sensation. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bright, happy space full of bustle but – and this may be my prejudices against the Chelsea set – if felt more like a ‘scene to be seen’ space with prices unnecessarily higher than they should be. £50 for a light lunch seems excessive compared with similar joints I’ve been to.

He said: If Tom flew an American flag above the front door, his kitchen easily could be mistaken for the canteen of the American Embassy. Every table within earshot was packed with Americans. Perhaps it’s because we went at Sunday lunch, a.k.a. brunch time, but the menu must’ve been irresistible to our cousins across the pond: full, as it is, of Yankee classics: blueberry pancakes, crab cakes, mac & cheese, etc. We too indulged, and all of it was very good, if a little pricey. What you’re really paying for, of course, is the bright and breezy space; it hard to believe that this used to be a pub. ‘Good job, guys!’.

Little Social, 5 Pollen Street, London W1S 1NE

Little Social, 5 Pollen Street, London W1S 1NE

www.littlesocial.co.uk

29/03/2013

She said: Having visited the Pollen Street Social a year ago, when we heard a little sister restaurant had opened opposite we couldn’t resist. We were one of the first diners to arrive at Little Social, which is a nostalgic, intimate bistro with lots of dark wood, scene-setting music that created a sense of days gone by, mood lighting and retro framed posters on the wall. We were greeted and served by lots of friendly and attentive staff and you could tell the whole place had that newly-opened shine. I opted for the set menu for the starter and main and chose an a la carte dessert. The food, including the complimentary breads was heavenly – rich flavours and sensible portions. My tuna starter melted in my mouth and a main of ‘roasted gurnard, saffron mash, fennel, Cornish soup, aioli’ was a joy with every bite. I couldn’t resist the ‘Hot chocolate moelleaux, sea salt and almond ice cream’ to end with a hot cup of latte which was perfection. As the time passed, the restaurant became full, including people eating at the bar and the noise resonated around the restaurant making it difficult to hear him across the table – never mind the charming music that I had been enjoying when we first came in, so this probably isn’t the place for a business lunch unless you don’t want to hear what your colleagues have to say. With the prix fixe at £21 for two courses Little Social is a delight although between the two I would favour the big sister across the road.

He said: By contrast to the pared-down modernism of the original Social across the street, Little Social is like walking into Elton John’s closet: lots of colour and texture. But, unlike Elton’s frocks, Little Social is in the best possible taste. The decorative theme here is (kind of) French bistro, except the one that you hardly ever find – the one from your imagination where everything is just about perfect. As every curmudgeon will tell you, it was always better in the past, and Little Social’s retro-contemporary style succeeds instantly in creating that halcyon vibe of always having been there. It’s clear that Little Social was always all about capturing this feeling of cosy familiarity, and so the food itself is actually British; but with Atherton’s usual winning touch, leaving you thinking: `I know all this, but I never knew it could be this good’. The kitchen brings a freshness to these dishes which highlights why some things are classics and don’t go out of style. As a punter you also feel very good about yourself for having resisted the latest thing, like sous-vide wasabi-dusted  kohlrabi consommé, or whatever. My only gripe is that the room is actually very noisy when it’s full of understandably delighted diners. We got there early, possibly first -- those were true halcyon moments.

Banana Tree, 103-109 Wardour Street, London W1F 0UQ

Banana Tree, 103-109 Wardour Street, London W1F 0UQ

16/03/2013

www.bananatree.co.uk

She said: I had spotted this out of the corner of my eye when rushing to the underground one morning after failing to secure standby theatre tickets and thought it was worth popping back for. It was. Banana Tree is an ‘Indochina’ restaurant set in an industrial-style space in the middle of Soho. The menu offers a great range of Asian dishes for every taste. It was difficult choosing and then he noticed the special which allows you to have a main course with a noodle salad, corn cakes, prawn crackers and rice at a great price. I opted for the Seafood Kari which was a mix of tiger prawns, tilapia fish fillets and

fishcakes in a Malaysian red curry paste. The food was excellent, service efficient, setting modern-trendy but not in a self-conscious way and including drinks and him needing to have two main courses, a reasonable £40 in total. Will definitely be back and with 5 other London locations it should be easy to find the opportunity.

He said: if you wade through the mist of time, do you remember the first time you had a Wagamama? Well that’s the excitement I felt at Banana Tree. I wanted to try absolutely everything, it all seemed so cheap, and I got to have it right here in a stylish room in the middle of Soho, instead of on a paper plate at some delicious but dangerous joint (think e-coli Russian roulette) at the dodgy end of Zone 2. I confess that the décor is what kept me from going in the first couple of times I walked passed: it all seemed so self-consciously urban and cool. But the urban/oriental thing actually works once you’re tucking in, with a glass of Malay spice tea in one hand. I usually avoid vegan, but this seemed like the place to try, and I’m very glad I did; good eating and good karma. We ordered more than we could eat, and it all came in at just under £40 for two including service. I’m a sucker for good food at good prices, and can’t wait to go back, hopefully today!

Roast, The Floral Hall, Stoney Street, London SE1 1TL

Roast, The Floral Hall, Stoney Street, London SE1 1TL

09/03/2013

www.roast-restaurant.com

She said: After wondering around the all-absorbing Borough Market and partaking in a little too much food sampling, we caught the lift in the market up to Roast. As the lift doors open and you pass the narrow reception area you enter a vast open contemporary dining space with a beautiful, high glassed roof and windows overlooking the bustle of the market below. It is definitely worth requesting a table by a window as we were seated in a perfect corner table with windows on two sides which allowed us to truly appreciate the fantastic architecture of the iconic market and undertake some great people watching. The menu offered a good range of British cooking and I opted for a fillet of Gunard which was small for the price and I was glad I also ordered a side of coleslaw. The chocolate pudding was delicious and the test of my latte arriving at the same time as desert was good enough. At £100 for two courses for two people and soft drinks, Roast is at the higher-end of the price-scale but offers a unique setting and some decent enough food.

He said: I confess that I was totally distracted and can’t really remember the food that well: she’d had the foresight to book the best table in the house, by the corner window overlooking Borough Market. It’s not the Pyramids, but what a setting! I grew up on the continent, and for as long as I can remember weekends are associated with food markets – Saturday for the local one, where the circus also sets up in the autumn, sometimes with a high-wire motorcycle act; Sunday for the enormous one near the train station where the fun fair beds down for the whole summer. For me the rhythm of the rows of stacked produce, the colours, the smells and the buzz of the crowd is total catnip. If Whiskas came on a plate I probably wouldn’t have noticed. As it was, I got salmon, which I liked but which, at £23 a plate is expensive even by London standard for a far-from-extinct species. Since I’m on the confessional tip, I admit that, for once, the menu included lots of vegetarian options, all of which I ignored although they actually were much better value and which, judging by the standard of cooking, would have been very good choices. My sticky date pudding was a real winner, as confirmed by the she-buzzard’s spoon swooping down on my plate with alarming frequency. When will she learn that you don’t have to order chocolate just because it’s on the menu? To sum up, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Roast is a unique proposition if you’re by the right windows; otherwise you could be at any number of very good establishments.