Keepers House, Peyton & Byrne, Royal Academy, Piccadilly, London W1J 0BD

Keepers House, Peyton & Byrne, Royal Academy, Piccadilly, London W1J 0BD

25/02/2014

www.keepershouse.org.uk

She said: When I heard of a dedicated vegetarian menu every Tuesday at the Royal Academy’s new restaurant I immediately booked a table for the opening night. The sensation of walking through the Academy courtyard long after the galleries have closed is truly magical. A modest door to the side of the main entrance and a trip down an inconspicuous flight of stairs revealed a warren of rooms including a buzzing, cosy bar and a sleek, contemporary dining space. We were shown to our table and presented with a glass of champagne each which got me very excited about the culinary wonders to come. The vegetarian set menu, at £35 per head, was essentially a series of six small plates with mostly earthy tasting vegetables presented as works of art. The food did indeed look beautiful and tasted very fresh and I really liked the fact it wasn’t soaked in oils or powdered with salt which so many other places do. We were able to take our time over each course and enjoy the setting. I did enjoy the experience but at the same time don’t think I would go back. Each course was interesting, enjoyable and contrasted nicely between them; the service was good; the price okay for the setting and specialist nature of the evening but it didn’t blow me away. These days, vegetarian food does blow your mind and there was something just a bit too purist about the food here. It’s a bit like watching a technically brilliant ballet dancer but not connecting with the story she’s telling. Anyway, in short, check it out once.

He said: The waiter should only ever approach my table with small plates of cutesy nosh when it’s Chef sending it for free to keep us calm between courses. If it’s actually meant to be one of the courses then my mood blackens instantly, just like the skies over Wimbledon on an English summer’s day. That kind of refinement (‘my cooking is so amazing that you only need a spoonful because it will knock you off your chair and you won’t be able to eat more once you’re on the floor’) is entirely lost on me. Maybe I’m just a brute. Or maybe years of eating spicy curry and chugging whisky has numbed my taste buds to anything but slap-you-in-the-face flavours. Whatever it is, there is nothing I dislike more in a restaurant than tiny portions. All that alchemy from Keeper’s House, the heirloom carrots, the foamy this and that’s, might have been genius, but the first thing on my mind is not that Chef is the Caravaggio of Carrots, but that some miserly bean-counter has decreed that for the business to succeed each diner must be served no more than 127 micrograms of potatoes and one iota of polenta. For me going out to eat is as much about the generosity, the devil-may-care abundance, as it is about the skill. I want to go in hungry, and I want to come out satiated; obviously I’d like to experience awesome flavours, etc. but the priorities will forever be in that order. There are some good things about Keeper’s House, and the cooking might be one of them, but you’ll have to read what She said to find out about that. I did like the location of Keeper’s House, and that it offers a veggie tasting menu. But if eating at the Royal Academy I will always opt for the much more interesting space of The Restaurant and its more laid back, more generous cooking.

Truc Vert, 42 North Audley Street, W1K 6ZR

Truc Vert, 42 North Audley Street, W1K 6ZR

18/02/2014

www.trucvert.co.uk

She said: He often says ‘why don’t we ever go back to places we like’, Truc Vert is case and point. We visited this neighbourhood French restaurant a few years ago and absolutely loved it; beautifully presented food that was equally amazing to taste. We thought we’d found a winner. Fast forward to my discount restaurant card running out and picking Truc Vert because it accepts the card and it’s as if the Truc Vert we knew and loved had been replaced by an offensively poor impostor. I can only guess it has changed hands because from the second we walked in, something wasn’t right. The service was friendly which made if difficult to give genuine feedback when asked a number of times if everything was okay. I ordered a starter of crab cakes which I saw come out of the kitchen with two other starters that made their way as far as the reception; after a confused exchange between staff, it went back to the kitchen to reappear moments later with his starter. The crab cakes were really bad. A minced medley soaking up a runny, yellow, cream sauce that made my arteries uncomfortable just looking at it. No taste. My main was a white fish, which was a good portion but again very uninteresting, to the point that I am writing the review 24 hours later and cannot remember what it actually came with and cannot be bothered to try to find out because it just doesn’t matter. I can only mourn the loss of the original, wonderful Truc Vert and as Sade said: it’s never as good as the first time. That’s why I rarely go back to re-experience a great experience.

He said: all that I’m going to say about this one is don’t go. We had a good night there a while back, but since then the management has changed. Truc Vert is now nothing short of a train wreck. A train full of children. Total tragedy. It is only a matter of time until the new owner drives this one off the cliff. It’s the Mayfair equivalent of the short-lease pizza joints near Piccadilly: fleece as many customers as possible serving them the cheapest possible sludge for the highest possible price, and then shut and move on. On the plus side this is possibly the most appropriately named restaurant: it is indeed a Truc Vert, of the kind you find up your nose and flick away.

The Gate, 51 Queen Caroline Street, London W6 9QL

The Gate, 51 Queen Caroline Street, London W6 9QL

08/02/2014

www.thegaterestaurants.com

She said: Wow. Not sure how this one slipped my radar. Playing on his iPad one day, The Gate popped up in a new restaurants section of a very old website; it’s been around forever. As a smart vegetarian restaurant and fancying myself as a smart vegetarian, we headed over to Hammersmith to see if it would offer up the stodgy stuffed vegetables and hippie food of yesteryear or something different for the hungry vegetarian (note to self: good name for a future restaurant). As we existed the tube and wandered down a road full of housing estates, we stopped outside a mental health facility sure that we were in the wrong place. We crossed the road as he consulted Google maps and I noticed ‘The Gate’ sign by a Christian church of some kind. As we approached the church and entered a gate I thought: ‘he’s going to kill me for bringing him to a canteen in a church hall run by people that are going to talk us into converting while serving us hot pot vegetable stew from a cauldron’…But as we passed a lovely courtyard and turned up some stairs, we entered a beautiful dining room in what looked like a former artist’s studio, with large industrial windows and glass ceiling, creating a lovely, bright space. I was beside myself when I got the menu. Usually I go through a process of elimination in choosing what I can eat but this is the first time in a long while that I was interested in everything. The menu offers a wide choice of creative, tasty-sounding starters, mains and desserts. After much discussion with him, I chose the Carciofini to start which was a delicately fried artichoke filled with mushrooms, served on a bed of lentils and with a garlic sauce. It was absolutely delicious. For mains I ordered the Aubergine schnitzel but I had also wanted the beetroot ravioli. After another diner received his schnitzel and I saw the massive portion which looked amazing but beyond my capabilities, I was in time to change my order to the ravioli. I did not regret this decision. A manageable portion of homemade pasta with a sweet filling offset by a tangy topping of sundried tomatoes. I really wanted to have a dessert as the many options were calling my name but I knew my stomach would not oblige so had to pass. The Gate has been a real find – probably THE find in a long time. Service was friendly and efficient, the food wonderful, the menu changes every few months, prices are reasonable and the room just lovely. I just wish it was closer to home but now I have a reason to return to Hammersmith, over and over gain. Don’t miss this one – vegetarian or not.

He said: Unless you live in that corner of London you really, really have to want to go there to find The Gate. From London’s core group of vegetarian grandes dames, this is probably the last that we tick off our list; but it’s certainly not the least. The Gate definitely rewards the determined veggie. It’s a bright, breezy haven just out-of-range of the toxic fug belched-out by the thunderous traffic chugging ceaselessly along London’s great open wound, the Hammersmith Flyover. It’s set on the upper floor of what once was a large artist’s studio, with high ceilings and loads of sky and light flooding through the massive windows. It’s decorated in a laid-back style with not a single concession to vegetarian stereotypes: no pictures of the Dalai Lama, no Peruvian horse blankets, no dream catchers, or baskets woven by Biafran street urchins. Unlike most veggie restaurants which either try too hard or try not enough, The Gate hit the cosy/stylish balance just right. The only ambiance wrong note that I can remember is the coffee machine noisily grinding away, echoing in the cathedral-like room. The totally expressionless service from our East-European waitress was charming in its own way, and certainly efficient. The food was a real surprise: full of flavour, texture and colour – it wasn’t just ‘good for vegetarian’ but good by any yardstick. How nice, for once, to go to a restaurant where the typically death-filled menu has more than just the token concession to veggies. There was certainly plenty at The Gate that I wanted to try, but I settled for the wasabi potato cake, and followed with the wild mushroom polenta: at once familiar and inventive, and very tasty. It may not be as clever and  sophisticated as nu-skool veggies like, say, Vanilla Black, but this is the kind of thing I like. Out of the London’s various non-Asian vegetarian restaurants, The Gate in Hammersmith is definitely the first one that I would go to again.

Gymkhana, 42 Albermale Street, London W1S 4JH

Gymkhana, 42 Albermale Street, London W1S 4JH

01/02/2014

www.gymkhanalondon.com

She said: Every magazine seems to have been banging on about this place. I tried booking a few days ahead a number of times in the past few months but it was always full. So I was surprised when they had a table after he called on the off-chance, 30-minutes before we were hungry. He had been much more keen than I to try out Gymkhana as I have never been able to justify paying excessive prices for Indian food offered as a morsel of what I have enjoyed in ‘normal’ Indian restaurants in London and other parts of the world. But lets move on and see what the fuss is about. Sitting very gentlemanly on the posh Albermale Street inside what looks like a former pub, the entrance level of Gymkhana was lively and noisy with diners sitting in what had an upmarket café feel. The room was bright but forgettable. However, we were taken downstairs to a darkly lit tavern looking space with days-gone-by artwork covering the walls. We opted for a set lunch menu at £20 for two courses plus the Gol Guppas from the a la carte menu, which was indulgent and unnecessary but yummy. My set starter was a ‘Duck Egg Bhurji, Lobster’ which turned out to be a rather tasteless, thin omelette with the odd bit of lobster in it. As we were sharing everything, I helped myself to his massive starter of potato chat which was delicious. After a very long wait and one reminder, my main Goan Bream arrived; a good portion and very tasty – that’s more like it. I rinsed the whole meal down with a sweet lassi which again was perfect. The set lunch option is a good way to see what Gymkhana is about. For me, it falls into the group of aspirational Indian restaurants targeted at the wealthy western set that don’t want to get their hands dirty with real Indian food. The whole experience did take an unfortunate turn when I got home and spent the rest of the day in the bathroom ‘evicting’ every milligram of my lunch, and a lot more. As he and I shared everything and he was fine, I cannot say for sure that my bathroom confinement was the result of Mayfair’s raving addition but I will not be taking any chances by returning there ever again.

He said: I work not far from this place and walked in one day, soon after the builders moved out but sometime before the official opening. Seduced by the Anglo-Indian Raj clubhouse décor, I made a note to comeback. Unfortunately Gymkhana’s PR machine went into overdrive soon after, and it was quickly declared everyone’s favourite new opening with every table booked solid for weeks. Still, one Saturday lunch we took a punt on short notice and scored a table downstairs, which made me grumble silently at first but, it turns out, has a much nicer feel than the busy and already-slightly-shabby looking main room. The lunchtime set menu is excellent value at £27 for two courses and a glass of house punch. Having been to Gymkhana’s sister restaurant in Marylebone I was primed for portions that would leave even the most anorexic supermodel feeling slightly peckish. So I was shocked to find myself defeated by a starter of potato chat that certainly would’ve been enough for four. Mains was mushroom pilau which was as good and forgettable as this dish always is, but accompanied by excellent sides (incuded) of dal and palak paneer. It was excellent value given the quality of cooking and location, for lunch. Prices rocket for dinner, at which point Gymkhana becomes, just like every other ‘Fine Indian’ around,  a blatant con.

Menier Chocolate Factory, 53 Southwark Street, London SE1 1RU

Menier Chocolate Factory, 53 Southwark Street, London SE1 1RU

12/01/2014

www.menierchocolatefactory.com

She said: I’ve often found it frustrating when I have a clear, long Sunday free and wouldn’t mind a bit of theatre but the West End is closed for 50% of the weekend…So I was delighted to be able to book a meal and a show at the Menier Chocolate Factory for a special occasion. Set in, yes, an old French chocolate factory, the restaurant is a bright, large room with dark wood floors and furniture. There is a slightly raised central dining area with other tables set around the room alongside the brick-exposed walls and period windows. I guess due to the nature of the building, the room was pretty cold with little help from the electric heaters; one elderly couple next to us spent an excessive amount of time moving the dial of one such heater with little effect. Still, the room is very atmospheric and though we were one of the first to arrive, it quickly filled up with pre-theatre diners, mostly of a well-to-do, older-ilk, no doubt due to the Voltaire performance we were seeing. I was disappointed Menier didn’t have a cocktail list. A Sunday Bloody Mary would have been perfect but they did have a choice of two specials: hot cider or a glass of fizz with elderflower so we toasted with the latter. Although there is a pre-theatre menu, I opted for a la carte. My starter of smoked salmon with a spicy potato cake and orange crème fraiche was so-so. The salmon was good but the potato cake luke-warm and cardboard-like and if there was any orange in the crème fraiche it missed my palate. However my main course of artichoke and sage tortellini was divine. I ordered a sticky toffee pudding for dessert but thankfully a lady next to me received hers just as I placed my order; I could see it was a mountain of sponge with just a thin sticky topping so I quickly switched to the brownie which again was a delicious juicy rich chocolate delight. My latte was piping hot just as I like it and in the size I like it – big. By the time I made it in to the theatre my belly was full and my mind ready to engage with the absurd world of Candide. I would definitely recommend Menier for future dinner-theatre dates.

He said: I love the Menier theatre, with its small, in-the-round stage where you can catch every actor’s most subtle expression. It’s a long way from the giant, mechanical productions pumped out by the West End sausage factory; the jewel box feel of Menier shows reminds me of high school plays (except with talent to boot): you feel like it belongs to you and you belong to it. The restaurant itself has a nice, laid-back vibe, but the food is just ok, nothing special. The thing that stood out for me was how quickly the food came out. You can understand that with the play starting at a fixed time, and with 80 or so dinners all arriving at roughly the same time, the kitchen will have to make some compromises. There was nothing wrong with any of it, just that it lacked finesse: it seemed to me a bit like assembly line cooking. Still, the drinks were nice and it was a great day out, and I would go back, but with expectations adjusted: the Menier is about theatre on the stage, not on the plate.

Caffe Caldesi, 118 Marylebone Lane, London W1U 2QF

Caffe Caldesi, 118 Marylebone Lane, London W1U 2QF

03/01/2014

www.caldesi.com

She said: Been wanting to come to this one for over a decade and today was the day we finally made it. Despite the risk that the fame around Caldesi and his cookbooks, cooking school and culinary virtuoso would have made this place stale, Café Caldesi was well worth the wait. I had booked the restaurant upstairs which is the more formal dining space at slightly higher prices than the downstairs more informal bistro-bar space. He wanted to eat downstairs and took his seat and started to peruse the menu but after wandering upstairs and seeing a room still decked out for the festive season, with romantic white table cloths and windows overlooking Marylebone Lane, I moved us back up! Glad I did. I can see why this place has lasted; it’s a classic. Creative but still reliable dishes, great service in a restaurant that managed to create that neighbourhood Italian feel without the cheesy chequered table cloths and hanging candle-waxed wine bottles. I had a large, delicious espresso martini which was well worth the caffeine headache I had after and kicked off with a juicy mushroom filled with some sort of cheese and breadcrumbs followed by a perfectly cooked penne with salmon in a vodka sauce which was impossible to stop eating despite the decent portion size. I really wanted dessert but was just too stuffed. Having chosen from the set lunch menu my food was great value at £15.50 and the cocktail prices are also reasonable for the area. It’s a shame we didn’t discover Caldesi sooner but now that we have it’ll be a local we’ll return to. Besides, he wants to make it passed perusing the bistro-bar menu I tore him away from (though he seemed happy in our romantic, window-table of the festive first floor).

He said: What stands out for me about Caldesi is the old school, genuine, neighbourhood restaurant vibe. Caldesi is not trying to be the kool kid, or reinvent the wheel with desiccated Bohemian snail's antler carpaccio, or other new-fangled techniques and ingredients. There's something really compelling about the tucked-away setting, the attentive care from the tie-wearing maître d', the shared pepper mill (is pepper still a precious commodity?) and the large, communal bowl of pre-grated Parmesan. That last detail alone tells you what you need to know about what comes out of the kitchen: the food is good, nothing particularly memorable, but perfectly fine. Caldesi reminds me a lot of what fancy (ie. no pizza) Italian restaurants used to be like when I was a kid, and it's that blast of nostalgia that I liked most. I also liked that the house cocktails are priced nostalgically. There are plenty of better alternatives in London, but I liked knowing that Caldesi is there and I look forward to going back - even if it takes us another 10 years to book; that's the great thing about nostalgia: it only gets better with age.

Tanner and Co, 50 Bermondsey St, London SE1 3UD

Tanner and Co, 50 Bermondsey St, London SE1 3UD

20/12/2013

www.tannerandco.co.uk

She said: A curious place kitted out as a school gym from the 80’s with pommel horse booths and leather banquettes. The dining space is long, open and bright with plenty of British fare on the menu. It was disappointing that the soup he ordered for lunch ‘wasn’t ready yet’; vegetable soup not being available when a restaurant opens for lunch is to me like saying a swimming pool has no water in it when you’re already in your bathing suit. Anyway, I ordered mushrooms on toast to start which took a while to arrive but when it did was delicious. My hake main course was cooked perfectly but unfortunately the leeks it came with were hard, chewy and drowned by a very salty, heavy buttery sauce which went cold within a few moments making it all a bit gloopy. At £20 a head for two courses it’s your standard mid-range London price. There seems to be a new genre of restaurants we’ve been going to lately which is the ‘lovely place, shame about the food’ category. With this genre, you really, really want to like the food because the setting is so great and so you make allowances. Tanner and Co is one of those places where I would probably come back thinking a different food order may generate a different outcome because I enjoyed the space so much...

He said: Bermondsey High Street is hip: White Cube's there, as are innumerable

coffee shops. Not edgy hip (there's not a single betting shop or stabby youf in sight) but more cosy, been there done that hip. Among the half dozen restaurants on the street, the cool kid is Tanner's. It certainly looks good with its devil-may-care, mix-n-match and stylishly distressed interior, full of knick knacks salvaged from some condemned comprehensive (local, I hope!) including monkey bars and the dreaded beam from the gym, diagrams from science class, maps, etc. Luckily the comparison ends there - no sight of fag ash in the mash, or mystery-meat burgers.  I tried ordering the soup which, alas, wasn't 'ready yet'. Being a benevolent dictator I give chef the benefit of the doubt, and instead happily munch my way through a too small mushrooms on toast.  Next a veggie pie with Jerusalem artichoke (brrppp!) and more mushrooms, which worked very well, the crust kept nice and crisp by one of those baked-in clay valves (bird shaped!) to let excess steam out. Simple and nice. My only negative was that we had 3 different people waiting our table, a bug-bear for an impatient sob like me. Tanner's could be a top choice in the area if it took things more seriously and applied itself. A for effort, C for attention to detail.

Rum Kitchen, Kingly Court, London Carnaby Street, W1B 5PW

Rum Kitchen, Kingly Court, London Carnaby Street, W1B 5PW

13/12/2013

www.therumkitchen.com

She said: We tried going to the Notting Hill site a few months ago for lunch only to be told they don’t serve lunch, so were excited to learn we could satisfy our Caribbean lunch-cravings at the new Soho site. I certainly wasn’t disappointed. Rum Kitchen sits atop the Kingly Court courtyard and is done up to look like an ocean-side chic-shack with lots of colourful lights and nostalgia on display. The bar is a throwback to the same with a chilled-out barman happily pouring his own-defined generous measures into various concoctions. I was excited before even sitting down. I ordered a Bloody Mary which had a super spicy kick but was strangely addictive…For food I ordered some salted fish fritters to start which were indeed salty, juicy and tasty. For mains I chose the pumpkin, coconut and chic pea curry which came on a bed of roti. The portion was huge and after eating as much as I could the plate looked untouched (until he helped out). The curry was full of flavour and definitely hit the spot. Service was friendly and the waiter asked if we were full which if the first time I remember a waiter ever checking I was appropriately stuffed. I loved this place. Prices are very reasonable and yes the fact that I had a 50% Rum Kitchen discount helped but quality and value stand up on their own. This is a great place for food, to socialise and to just have a relaxed, decent meal. Definitely going back.

He said: My knowledge of Caribbean cuisine begins and ends with Jamaican patties, and rice & peas, so I can't really comment on the authenticity of the food. But what we ordered I liked, especially Her curried veggie stew. What I liked most about Rum Kitchen is the no-nonsense, keep-it-simple principle: a short menu of classics well executed. It's because of this streamlined menu that I ordered the swordfish burger. That's a fish I've avoided ever since being told by someone whose job it is to know that you'll be hard-pressed to find more parasites in any other of neptune's denizens. Still, in for a penny, in for a pound, it was delish and I gobbled it up. The service was friendly and efficient, and the portions generous. You know a place's MO when the waitress asks you at the end: 'did that fill you up honey?' Drinks were tasty and potent, mixed as they were with free pours - something I have not seen I years in London, and one of the few things that I miss about America. The brains behind Rum Kitchen are visibly genuinely keen for every punter to walk out satiated and happy.  It has all the hallmarks, funky decor included, of a future franchise roll-out (though I really hope not). There is nothing not to like about Rum Kitchen. I'm going back next week with the guys.

Union Street Cafe, 47-51 Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BS

Union Street Cafe, 47-51 Great Suffolk Street, London SE1 0BS

09/11/2013

www.gordonramsay.com/union-street-cafe/

She said: Despite the ridiculous hype around ‘that’ footballer and billions of people trying to get a booking we had no trouble getting a table on the day at Ramsay’s latest offering. Union Street Café sits a short walk from Southwark station, occupying a corner with, yes, Union Street. I was immediately pleased with the lovely warm room which contrasted with the cold, wet outside – especially given the industrial-chic interior. We were warmly greeted and shown to our table with comfortable, rounded leather chairs. The room felt intimate yet open, with lots of dark wood, pop sculptures and a smart bar. The semi-open kitchen was on a platform up a few stairs where additional dining tables were available. I think I liked the fact that Union Street Café hadn’t tried to ram in as many tables as possible and the dining room felt very well spaced out without feeling empty. I say ‘think’ because it is unusual for business to not try to maximise capacity without some impact on pricing. The menu was presented in pretty printed calligraphy which I found illegible so had to ask the waiter to read and interpret but found him incomprehensible, though I must say service was friendly and attentive. I managed to order a starter of artichoke, olive and pecorino which was subtle but a good intro and finished with a perfectly delicious ravioli with ricotta, rainbow chard and walnuts. I had read complaints about portions being small but they were the right size for me and I was glad I ordered the ‘main’ ravioli size which was a real highlight for me. At just under £30 per head I enjoyed Union Street Café and it’s a great new addition to the constantly transforming Southwark area.

He said: You see where it is on the map, and hear the name Union Street Café, and you’ll be forgiven for thinking that you’re going to that greasy spoon from The Apprentice, where all the losers go to recriminate over Styrofoam cups of builder’s tea. But no, this is a Ramsey joint! And a very good one at that. Potty Mouth did a great job matching his brand to the area, which is more murder alley than Mayfair. The designer somehow managed to deliver a posh urban dining room, and Gordon cleverly settled on an Italian menu: the most democratic of cuisines that you can also charge a packet for; everybody knows they like Italian, even if, like me, they have no clue what Ovuli Crudi or Guazzetto might be (I liked both). And because Il Duce is behind it, everything works smooth as silk. My only gripe is that the portions are small for Italian, a cuisine famed for generosity, and the prices on the high side. It all feels a little bit greedy given the postcode. But I suppose that is Union Street’s unique proposition: there are not many upscale eateries so close to Tate Modern (millions of visitors a year), and Ramsey just plugged that gap. If you’re not hungry, there’s a very good basement bar.

Chotto Matte, 11-13 Frith Street, London W1D 4RB

Chotto Matte, 11-13 Frith Street, London W1D 4RB

02/11/2013

www.chotto-matte.com/

She said: Not sure why but he seemed to be veering away from trying this Japanese-Peruvian in Soho but I would not have any of it. I was pleased with my resolve. Chotto Matte is an impressive space occupying a large corner in Soho. There is a trendy downstairs bar and cool, bright, confident upstairs restaurant with lots of dark wood, a long piece of graffiti art along one wall and an open kitchen. The menu offers a large choice of fusion foods for sharing. I found it difficult to choose but we settled on seven dishes that we both liked the sound of. The first four dishes came relatively quickly and were just delicious. This included a seabass ceviche which was shamefully small, yummy mushroom salad, a rather oily but tasty spring roll and impressive corn fritters. There was a respectable gap in service allowing us to prepare ourselves for a second round which again was superb and included a juicy aubergine dish that had a perfect sweet-tangy combination, succulent salmon picante and the only underwhelming dish, a plain courgette…Cutting to the chase – I loved my meal at Chotto Matte. The food was creative and moreish. Presentation and setting impressive. Service good. Prices were on the slightly higher than necessary side given the portions (making sharing best between people who know each other more intimately!) and with some dishes portion size really was just stingy. But I would come back – both for food and also to sample the great range of cocktails on offer.

He said: Chotto Matte is seriously stylish. You walk in and you feel like the coolest cat in town, and it’s in Soho: so easy to find! No need to get stressed running the gauntlet passed Dalston crack dens. For a Japanese-Peruvian restaurant there is something very New York about it: must be all that graffiti, black light, and urbane hipness. I loved all the food, but there was so little of it! The size of these sharing plates was so small that, if there’s more than two people at your table, then you had better bring your protractor and scales to figure our the sharing. Having said that, if I wasn’t thinking about cost then I wouldn’t give a damn, because it was all very tasty, and very pretty to look at. And, for once, there was a lot of choice for vegetarians. Drinks were imaginative, distinctive, and not too expensive. The ground-floor bar is a great place to hang out and knock back a few. So I would certainly come back, but my favourite Peruvian is still Ceviche, which I love as much for its food as for its no pretentious bullshit approach – a rare trait on London’s Peruvian scene.

Berner’s Tavern, 10 Berner’s Street, London W1T 3NP

Berner’s Tavern, 10 Berner’s Street, London W1T 3NP

27/10/2013

www.bernerstavern.com

She said: As big fans of Atherton we had to visit his latest edition. I was more apprehensive about this one mostly because the media fanfare has bordered on groupie. It’s in a ‘trendy’ hotel and palatial setting and the more affordable set menu of his other restaurants is absent here. However, in we went for brunch (hoping normal food was available too). There is no question that the dining room is awe-inspiring. A great, grand museum of a space with stunning, stucco ceilings and grand photos hung like great masters on every available wall space. The bright, yellow-lit bar provides a contemporary focus in contrast with classic banquettes and crisp table settings. When we arrived the place was comfortably busy – buzzing but not inaudible. I suspect when full, diners who are distracted by echoing buzzard-like conversations may strain to engage with their companions (a lady whose laughter resembled a dying hyena was a big, resonating distraction during my brunch). The brunch menu has the usual breakfast dishes but also has more standard lunch options including Sunday roast. There was little for vegetarians in the non-breakfast options (I didn’t feel like granola in the middle of the afternoon) so I kicked off with mushrooms on toast which was delicious but clearly very buttery and salty. Given I find gnocchi a bizarre creation, which was the only vegetarian option in the main dishes, I opted for an avocado and blue cheese salad. When it arrived it looked very pretty but alas there is a limit to how much avocado, cheese and iceberg lettuce you can eat so I threw in the towel two-thirds in. Berner’s Tavern is a stunning restaurant; one to impress just by its setting. The food was less impressive than all the other Atherton eateries I’ve been to but combined with the majestic dining room probably comes close.

He said: the word ‘brunch’ has, for me, very specific connotations, involving fortifying stuff like eggs Benedict and a jug of bloody Mary, consumed happily and bleary-eyed well after honest folks’ usual breakfast time, indicating that the previous night was very good indeed. But lately, in London’s mad foodie laboratory, Brunch has come to mean: reduced menu of uncomplicated dishes that can be served fast by a much smaller kitchen team. Or, the opposite of what you expect from an Atherton kitchen, which is typically all about invention and unhurried finesse. For example, just compare the mushroom on toast here (very good) to that at the Social in Soho (genius). What first impresses the most when you visit Berner’s is the jaw-dropping dining room; but this is also perhaps what holds it back: it is so vast, with so many covers, that it is perhaps not possible for Atherton to deliver the usual. At his other restaurants you normally ‘wow’ at the kitchen while here you ‘wow’ at the room. I guess I’ll have to come back for dinner to know for sure. But if you take Berner’s on its own merits, like a happy tourist might, unburdened by memories of amazing meals at the other Atherton places, then Berner’s is a winner, combining very good food with the city’s most impressive dining space.

The Happenstance, 1a Ludgate Hill, London EC4M 7AA

The Happenstance, 1a Ludgate Hill, London EC4M 7AA

26/10/2013

www.thehappenstancebar.co.uk

She said: Hungry and in the City with the skies about to open we headed into The Happenstance, part of the Drake and Morgan chain of trendy bar-restaurants in the City. I’ve always had mixed feelings about the group. The settings are always inviting – modern, bright, impressive spaces with great cocktails but the food is always mediocre. I still remember abandoning my pasta at another of their joints (Refinery) when it was overcooked beyond recognition. Still, as a new addition to the group we thought we’d give it a go. I ordered a bruschetta with mushroom and pesto which was good but lukewarm. Foolishly I opted for the crab and crayfish linguini which was hot, edible but slightly overcooked and, as seems to be a theme in chains, the fish was being rationed. My rose martini cocktail was amazing and drink prices reasonable. In conclusion, I would recommend The Happenstance and its fellow venues for drinks and nibbles but move on to somewhere else for proper food.

He said: The Happenstance is, for me, the least memorable of the ‘pubs’ in this chain of gastros. The décor was typically bright, mismatched boho-chic, and the drinks were excellent. But my Thai curry was a let-down: the rice over-cooked, and the curry under-spiced and probably made from a jar. But even if the food seems like an after-thought, it’s worth coming here just for the mixed drinks, which are genuinely good, and very well priced [for London] at under £8 each. Some of the kitchen’s offerings might just do the trick to mop-up the booze and keep your head straight. But if you’re going to eat at The Happenstance, then you had better order something deep-fried.

Bonnie Gull, 21A Foley Street, London W1W 6DS

Bonnie Gull, 21A Foley Street, London W1W 6DS

23/10/2013

www.bonniegull.com/

She said: Bonnie Gull has the feel of a fine, local seaside eatery – quite an achievement given its Fitzrovia location. This ‘seafood shack’ is a smart, cosy, lightly nautical-themed space with a changing menu catering to seafood lovers (with the odd vegetarian option). I started with the beetroot salmon which was simple but clearly good quality and followed it with a cod that came with some sliced Brussels sprouts and raisins; the cod was again a simple dish (no sauce/’jus’ or other noticeable added flavours) but lukewarm. My dessert was pure chocolate goodness in the form of a chocolate brownie with a caramel salted ice cream. Although the starter and main was nothing to write home about, I really liked Bonnie Gull; I think because it’s refreshing to enjoy a relaxed, friendly, neighbourhood restaurant in the centre of town that has a simple, clear focus. This means you can sit down, order and get on with the joy of hanging out without feeling like ‘they’ need the table back or you’re part of a passing trend or latest ‘pop-up’! The only reality check that we’re in London not Southend was the £82 bill; but then again the fish is responsibly sourced…

He said: One day I will write the ultimate secret London guide, and indexed under ‘fish restaurant’ you will certainly find Bonnie Gull. Not that’s it’s hard to find – a quick Boris-bike ride to Fitzrovia is all it took; no three-hour traffic-chocked crawl to deepest Norfolk or Kent required. But once you get there the vibe is certainly the real Deal. A dozen or so tables are scattered about a cozy room brightly decorated in whites and blues, with windows on two sides letting-in the incomparable British skies and light. Service is chummy and efficient, and the place generally radiates a fine, aren’t-you-happy-we’re-here-instead-of-there atmosphere. I kicked things off with a nice mushroom consommé, and followed with pan-fried hake. Excellent stuff and, at about £20 per main, fairly priced given the quality and the fact that fish are basically nearly extinct. If you’ve grown bored of elbowing your way through throngs of clebs to commandeer your usual table at Scott’s then have a pop at Bonnie’s – I certainly can’t think of another fish place I’d rather hit.

The Beaufort House, 354 King’s Road, London SW3 5UZ

The Beaufort House, 354 King’s Road, London SW3 5UZ

10/10/2013

www.beauforthousechelsea.co.uk/

She said: I’ve regularly walked passed this corner gastro-looking pub on the King’s Road and read good things so we popped in for an early dinner before a movie. The service was prompt and when I was served a gone-off juice they were quick to remove it and take the price off the bill. The menu offered a decent range of gastro-pub food and I kicked off with a fig and goats cheese salad which was good but a few too many lumps of cheese for me. I was looking forward to the lobster and pea risotto and when a big serving of it arrived I was glad I had ordered the starter portion. Unfortunately the risotto was a big let down. The rice was overcooked to mush, the lobster was clearly being rationed but more surprisingly so were the peas! It was so lacking in flavour I quit halfway through. Shame really as this would have been a nice spot for pre/post cinema dining. The movie wasn’t great either so a bit of a washout of an evening (including the rain)!

He said: We had about an hour before a movie, and Beaufort House was an impulsive choice: it was nearest, and we’d been meaning to check it out. This being Chelsea I still called ahead; the voicemail picked-up and I left a message (I’m an optimist). I was pleasantly surprised that we were expected when we rolled-up a few minutes later. Beaufort House ticks quite a lot of boxes: the room is pleasant, in a posh, former pub kind of way, you don’t get charged for bread and olives (a bugbear of mine: this is the hospitality industry, after all), service is efficient, the menu’s fairly broad, prices fair. Where it does stumble is in the quality control: her cranberry was off (they cancelled it with an apology), as was the risotto which was way overdone. I started with the spicy carrot soup which tasted nice but got boring halfway through – it needed texture or something to lift it (or maybe just a smaller portion, it was pretty big). My fig salad was very good; I was having the same thing as a main that she had as a start, and it was surprising that mine was kinda light on the cheese. That and the rotten risotto tells me that the kitchen’s not really paying as much attention as it should for a restaurant that has a drink on the menu priced at £1111. To sum up, ladies and gentlemen of the jury: this place is fine for the price, but inconsistent: when you go it might be good, or it might be mildly disappointing. Good luck! 

Boulestin, 55 St Jame’s Street, London SW1A 1EF

Boulestin, 55 St Jame’s Street, London SW1A 1EF

29/09/2013

www.boulestin.com

She said: We visited Boulestin when it had recently opened and before the run of newspaper reviews (which have since come out with all sorts of high falutin analyses). First impressions were good. You enter through a causal but inviting café which serves a selection of the restaurant dishes in a more informal setting and pass into an elegant, calm restaurant with green banquettes and crisp white tablecloths. A long skylight creates an open and bright space to the room. Service was friendly and attentive. The menu had a wide choice of dishes for all tastes and prices were reasonable for Mayfair. I ordered a mushroom risotto for main as I had my eye on a chocolate dessert. While we were waiting the maitre d’ chatted about the new space and expressed disappointment on some luke-warm reviews which he said had criticised the ‘concept’ which confused me as this place didn’t involve rocket science: dining room; food; service; price. Nothing profound to get your head round. Anyway, my risotto was fine. A decent serving but nothing to write home about. He pre-ordered the ‘Tarte legere aux pommes’ which takes 20-minutes which I ended up swapping my chocolate terrine with. The terrine was fine, a chequer-board of white and dark chocolate atop a chocolate sponge – it’s just I prefer less sponge and more chocolate. The apple tart was yummy. Boulestin is a lovely space with good service and an interesting menu but at £35 per head for a main and desert (and his main salad portion was tiny!) and the absence of a set lunch menu option, I’d need to think twice about coming back.

He said: Boulestin is the perfect St. James’s restaurant. Classic and classy but with none of that Wilton’s establishment thing, which is as passé as that grand dame is old. For an area which is authentically old school, it’s remarkable how few ‘proper’ restaurants there are in St. James’s. Maybe the old boys just like eating at the club better. Me, I have no club and a lot of meetings in the area, and I’m often stuck for somewhere that doesn’t have bondage photos on the walls  (Wheeler’s), is not in hotel, or is not incredibly noisy (most places). This is not going to be everyone’s cup of tea, but I love that Boulestin doesn’t play any muzak; sonic ambience has it’s time and place, but I do like being able to have an actual conversation with someone. Now the food: the bloody Mary was spot-on (no ice!); the main artichoke salad was so mean at £12.50 that I did wonder if it was physically possible to serve as smaller starter version; my tarte aux pommes was so exactly what I wanted that I ordered it with the main, except that I didn’t get it because She pounced on it. Woe betide the poor knave who is nearby when She has had a disappointing desert day! Since we’d only had two courses each, coffees, and drinks, I was actually surprised when the bill came in at £72. Lunch is currently Boulestin’s cash cow, so I can understand not discounting with a set lunch, but that’s a big mistake. Still, (small) warts and all, Boulestin is my favourite place in that neighbourhood.

The Hardwick, Old Raglan Road, Abergavenny, Wales, NP7 9AA

The Hardwick, Old Raglan Road, Abergavenny, Wales, NP7 9AA

22/09/2013

www.thehardwick.co.uk

She said: I’d spent the day before doing ‘Tough Mudder’ which essentially involved lots of mud, electric shocks, ice water and climbing walls (for 3 hours) so I wanted to indulge our trip to Wales with a good Sunday lunch. The Hardwick was an excellent pick and lives up to its reputation. The pub looks like any other from the outside and is located on the B4598 but as you pass the ‘mind your head’ sign in the drinking area, the space opens up into a series of dining rooms. We were seated in the most modern and open room at the end which was my favourite. There was a wide selection of great sounding dishes to pick from as well as a set menu. Service was brusque and we had different people serving us throughout the meal as the restaurant filled up over the course of our stay. Looking around, you could tell this was a local favourite and a place people dress us for to enjoy good food. And good it was. I started with a goats cheese salad which was creamy and a good intro. For mains I opted for the Plaice with brown shrimp, greens and mash. The fish was a generous portion and very tasty. My dessert was the perfect ending – a spectacular ‘Valrhona Chocolate Mousse & Millionaires' Shortbread with White Chocolate Ice Cream & Brownie Crumble, Chocolate Popping Candy and Sea Salted Caramel Sauce’. That is how to make a desert. And the coffee came on time with the dessert as requested – impressive. Now I understand all the fuss about going out for a Sunday pub lunch. The meal was reasonable at £30 per person making me wish the Hardwick wasn’t stuck on a B-road in Wales but closer to home. If you happen to be anywhere near the country, I recommend stopping in for a while and treating yourself.

He said: The Hardwick came at the tail end of an amazing weekend in Wales; we stopped here for lunch, to pacify ourselves ahead of the 3hr+ traffic-chocked drive home. My enduring memory was of everyone around us speaking Welsh. Very cool, and a bit like having a stroke, maybe: everything visually was very familiar, but none of the sounds made any sense. Hardwick is your classic Bastion of Culinary Excellence for all those wise folk who have decided to escape the big smoke of Cardiff. It’s incredible how well you can eat in these far-flung places where expense-account dining is the exception. It’s not all Chicken Shacks and micro-waved Chinese; maybe fine dining is the reason that Britain is in the grip of a diabetes epidemic. In which case Hardwick should be at the top of the list for its share of the NHS bill. The room itself is no big deal – the usual converted formerly-something-else on a B road. But the food! Hardwick clearly cares about exciting the punters, not with Blumenthal razzle-dazzle, but with top-quality, seasonal ingredients and vibrant presentation. I had a posh bruschetta, made with funky-coloured heirloom tomatoes and home-made bread, followed by feather-light gnocchi in a tomato sauce livened-up with asparagus pumpkin and goats cheese. Great value at £30 with coffee and chocolates. 3hrs is a long way to go for a meal, so I don’t expect that either you or I will be going any time soon. But I’d be here regularly if I was a local; just have to work out how to pronounce this cryptic language… 

Massimo, Corinthia Hotel, 10 Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5AE

Massimo Restaurant and Oyster Bar, Corinthia Hotel, 10 Northumberland Avenue, London WC2N 5AE

07/09/2013

http://corinthia.com/hotels/london/

She said: We tried coming here a few weeks ago on a Sunday but alas it is not open on Sundays…So we returned on a Saturday with our dining card 2-4-1 discount in hand. Massimo is a stunning, palatial dining space. Imposing Corinthian columns, bold yet elegant lighting, brown leather banquettes, crisp linen table cloths, shimmering bar, and a golden hue throughout the room. I was excited to get stuck in to the menu. I jumped straight into mains and after finding it difficult to choose from so many delicious sounding options I picked a tagliolini with crab and chilli which was perfectly cooked pasta with a juicy chilli oil and succulent crab flakes. I was so impressed, wondering why the place was practically empty and already planning a return. Although tight on time the dessert menu was too tempting so I ordered the chocolate fondant and was assured it would take 15 minutes. 25 minutes later a very dry lump of sponge looked up at me from a large plate and when I took a spoon to it hoping that the molten goodness would flow out my heart sank as a tiny glue-like chocolate sat stuck to the crumbling sponge. Clearly this was overcooked and I was sorely disappointed. The minor consolation was 50% off the bill so we paid £42 for two courses and soft drinks – not the best value if paying full price. Dining at Massimo was like dining in two different restaurants – 10 out of 10 for the first half and a classy experience, 0 out of 10 for the second half and I wish I had got a coffee and cake at any one of the many nearby patisseries instead. Incidentally, customer responsiveness could do with some work; when I informed the waiter the fondant was overcooked and barely edible which was a shame given how good the mains were, he didn’t know what to say – literally, he just stood there nodding as he took payment. The friendly greeting we received on arrival was marked by any acknowledgement whatsoever as we left our table and the restaurant to a hum of silence.

He said: 99% of restaurants included in Discount Dining cards, like Gourmet Society or Taste London, are chains or run-of-the-mill places. But it pays to look hard at the membership list, because every so often a Destination Restaurant slips in: the kind of place with that ‘wow’ factor, where you take someone to celebrate, propose, or break-up (because it’s just too nice to make a fuss in). Massimo is a hell of a good looking restaurant: cathedral-height ceilings, huge windows, flash but still just the right side of classy. We were on our way to see a show, so had time for a main and a desert. I opted for ‘organic barley penne with borrage and shaved ricotta because’: 1) what is borrage? 2) you can shave ricotta? 3) why is this pasta dish so expensive yet vegetarian? I’m none the wiser about the price: the ‘taste to price’ ratio was all wrong. In the 50+ posts written to date I don’t think I dissed the food very often – I generally give the kitchen the benefit of the doubt. But this dish made no sense to me. It’s bland, health-freak type stuff – the kind of dish loved by the likes of Moby, I imagine. So I decided to balance this out with a blow-out, indulgent desert. ‘Mont Blanc Pavlova’, that will do it. Doesn’t that just conjure up the best vision of a mountain of meringue, floating on a giant cloud of cream, and scattered with red fruit symbolizing the crushed bodies of fallen climbers? But no, instead my hopes were crushed, when the saddest pavlova I have ever seen was plopped on the table. It’s like Tommy being promised an Xbox by drunk Santa at the mall, but getting a book of Sudoku Christmas morning. It took me a while to get over the disappointment; in fact I ate the whole thing without actually tasting a single spoon. But you know what: that room is so great, I would still go back, armed with a 2-for-1 card, now that I know the menu is written by a fantasist. Stick to the tried and tested and at that price you can’t go wrong.

Orrery, 55 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 5RB

Orrery, 55 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 5RB

02/09/2013

www.orrery-restaurant.co.uk

She said: the mother-in-law was in town and treating us so I wanted something chic, local and not too pricey. I was delighted to note the Menu du Jour on the Orrery website at £26 for three courses. Perfect. When we arrived at this D&D London-owned eatery on a beautiful summer’s evening and ascended to the smart, spacious dining room above the Conran furniture store, we were ecstatic to be offered a table on the stunning outdoor roof terrace. Our faces and moods descended at speed when we were presented with the menu which offered a choice of a £49 set menu for 3 courses or a £60 ‘Gourmand’ menu. I felt embarrassed knowing his mother would want to throw me off the roof for picking this place knowing she was paying. But after collecting myself and knowing I am always right, I signalled the waiter and asked about the £26 set menu. He wandered off and returned with this menu. When we asked why he had neglected to give us this menu (interjected by my mother-in-law saying ‘because he has been trained not to’) he muttered some nonsense about this offer being available through a partner promotion – despite me saying it was listed on the menu section of their own website. It then turned even more ‘Fawlty Towers’ when I asked if there was an a la carte menu to which the waiter pointed back to the £49 and £60 menu. ‘But these are set menus for 3 courses…what if I just want a main’ I innocently asked. ‘Yes you can have just a main’ he replied. ‘But how much are the main dishes – they are not individually priced’ I promoted. ‘Mmm, well you can say between £20 to £25 for mains and between £15 to £18 for starters’. As he left we all stared at each other in disbelief and burst out laughing wondering when we entered the Twilight Zone. The waiter returned to present a corked wine to ‘him’ and when ‘he said’ it smelt funny the waiter returned with a new wine and a sarcastic offering of ‘it wasn’t funny it was obviously corked’.  Setting aside the ridiculous charade above, the food, setting and price (as excruciating as it was to obtain) was fantastic. I ordered from the £26 menu (!) and had a mackerel starter, a Provencal stuffed vegetable main and roasted fig dessert. Good portions and flavours. The meal was interspersed with various amuse bouche including delicious chocolate truffles with our bill. The rooftop was wonderfully peaceful and atmospheric; it’s rare to find such a spot in London. Orrery really is a wonderful place. Don’t let the outrageous behaviour above put you off – just remember to ask for all the menus and give your wine a good sniff.

He said: another day another walk down memory lane. We’d tried this local years ago after a particularly bad day, figuring that every bad should be balanced by a good. This time the family was in town, which wasn’t so bad but still a nice meal was in order. The big draw of Orrery for me is the roof terrace, up a flight of stairs from the main room, and with seating just half dozen tables. This secluded spot with a view of tree tops and sky has got to be among the best in central London; no pickpockets, no junkies begging for a ‘fare home’, no irritating mime artists trying to break out of their damned box. Just peace, and tasty eats. The food was exactly what you’d expect; at the upper end and towards the French side of the Conran-style kitchen. Service was excellent, but the waiter had clearly been briefed by management to present only the degustation menu at £50-60. She’d done her homework and knew all about the great-value £26 set menu. Getting it, and more info on the mysteriously-price a la carte was pure comedy. Then the carafe of wine arrived, smelling so much of Mo Farah’s socks that no-one opening the bottle could’ve missed it was corked… It all started looking a lot like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm. This is not a place to go if you’ve just finished your anger management course. On principle I would never go back to Orrery just for that unforgivable fleece-the-punters stunt. But despite their best efforts we still had a really good meal at Orrery and I would recommend it – just keep calm.

Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, Angel Building, London EC1V 4AB

Naamyaa Café, 407 St John Street, Angel Building, London EC1V 4AB

31/08/2013

www.naamyaa.com/

She said: It was a lovely sunny day and we thought we’d cycle to Angel and meander around the antique shops. He wanted to eat at the shiny, contemporary looking Thai place we passed last week and though I was on the fence I did like the space so in we went. Naamyaa is of the Busaba ilk – trendy, modern interior, open kitchen and accessible menu of appealing dishes. I really liked the sound of the 48 hour braised mackerel so put in my order only to be told they didn’t have it. Not a great start. Still, there were other choices I had my eye on so went for the Prawn Green curry. To start we shared some spring rolls which were good. But when my Prawn curry arrived I managed to identify four small prawns and not much else. Very cheeky. Luckily we had ordered a side of Morning Glory which was salty but fine and I shared some of his Aubergine pot which was juicy but again far too salty. It’s a shame really as Naamyaa has that feel of a great local find, until you get to the food. The only reason we were upbeat on leaving was because our joyous dining discount card meant we paid £20 instead of £40, taking the sting out of a disappointing Thai experience.

He said: Naamyaa is definitely the kind of place being developed with franchising in mind: really strong brand ID (imagine Giraffe meats Busaba) and designed down to the most minute detail. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. The menu is wide-ranging, pan-Asian rather than strictly Thai, with lots of choice for all times of day, including breakfast, and mid-priced. The food we ordered was just okay: it looked good on the plate, came in decent portions for the vegetarian things, but was so salty that it was hard to pick-up that magic simultaneous sweet/sour/spicy trick that Thais do so well. I was really excited to go here, having a soft-spot for sugar-high interior design, but the food was kind of a let-down. Drinks were good though, so maybe this is the place to go with the gang, sharing a whole bunch of small plates to keep yer heads screwed-on longer. That could be a good night actually: Naamyaa has a good energy to it; and, with all that drinking and peeing, the extra salt will probably come in handy.

Aqua Shard, Level 31, The Shard 31 St Thomas Street, London SE1 9RY

Aqua Shard, Level 31, The Shard  31 St Thomas Street, London SE1 9RY

29/08/2013

www.aquashard.co.uk

She said: We picked Europe’s tallest tower as an appropriate venue to mark the lofty milestone of mum turning 77. Wow. This was an amazing experience. After reading poor reviews about snooty service and high prices in Oblix the floor above, I decided to book Aqua on the 31st floor of the Shard. From the second we arrived we were greeted with enthusiasm. The first impression is breathtaking: a vast, open space with floor to ceiling windows and double height ceiling draws you into Aqua with a bar area on one side and dining on the other. We decided to have cocktails in the bar first and were seated by a window with spectacular views of London. The cocktail menu offered great choice at the higher (but not crazy) prices you would expect for the location at around £12. We then moved to the smart, contemporary dining area where further stunning views greeted us. The set menu at £28 for three courses was fantastic value and the food faultless. I started with the cured-wild seabass which was light with subtle flavours and followed this with a delicious barley risotto which I held back from finishing to allow room for dessert. I’m glad I did as dessert was an irresistible chocolate millefeuille. The service was friendly, personable and attentive and included a birthday plate with candle for mum which added to this special experience. I cannot imagine picking anywhere better to celebrate edging closer to 80 and the whole dining party were full of praise and smiles. I loved Aqua and am looking forward to going back – again and again. This place will suit any occasion, work or play.

He said: This was a very, very pleasant surprise. And I don’t mean because of the view, or the incredibly large, uniquely un-London room, both of which have got the X Factor in spades. No, I mean the food. This will sound horribly ungrateful, but most fine dining is so paint-by-numbers, so samey-samey, that you don’t even notice it – like some Norman Foster airport or office block: you kind of remember it, but you’re not too sure where or what. Aqua Shard could easily have dished out the same ol’ international slop; their proposition is so unique that the room would have been just as full as when we went. But no: Aqua Man clearly cares: each of my plates had it all: great ingredients, presentation, textures, flavours, and, not least, man-sized portions. I had the carrot salad (three varieties: yellow, purple, and familiar orange) with its mellow pesto dressing and ricotta; then the barley risotto; then the chocolate mille-feuille, all of which I would gladly have again. I am soooo glad that these guys didn’t go down the lazy route. You might think that’s because the rent is so eye-poppingly high that they have to deliver to pay the man; but in fact, cynical reader, at £28 my à la carte was great value, and a bargain compared to most places with much less to offer but much more attitude. Really the only negative about Aqua Shard is the strange, gastroenteritis-sounding name. You should go: it’s definitely the top table in London at the moment.

The Swan at The Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, Bankside, London SE1 9DT

The Swan at The Globe, 21 New Globe Walk, Bankside, London SE1 9DT

26/08/2013

www.loveswan.co.uk/shakespearesglobe

She said: I had been wanting to try the restaurant at Shakespeare’s Globe theatre but felt it should only be with a visit to the actual theatre. Since I’m not a Shakespeare fan this seemed unlikely until today when the Globe put on a play unrelated to the Bard. Yes. The restaurant space, on the top floor (with a bar below) is impressive. A long, classic yet contemporary room that is warm and inviting. It offers splendid views of St Paul’s and the activity along the Thames. This is the place to come to impress visiting friends and relatives. I’m always dubious about restaurants in touristy places and you can’t get more touristy than the Globe so when I ordered from the set menu (at £26.50 for 3 courses) I prayed it wouldn’t disappoint. My starter goats cheese salad was adequate, good enough. Unfortunately my seabass main was edible but forgettable – well within that ‘tourists we’ll never see again’ cooking category. I opted for a Pineapple upside down cake to finish which was again adequate. This is a shame because if they can raise the standard of cooking (and presentation), the Swan really would be quite something. I still think it is a wonderful space, offering good service with amazing views and if you’re happy for the food to be part of the wider package it’s worth doing and indeed on this basis I expect to be back. But on days when I want to eat out to experience inventive, delicious food, I’ll go somewhere else.

He said: Who knew that one of London’s most unbearably touristy stretches, The South Bank, also had one of its most attractive dining rooms? Not me. I normally walk as fast as possible between A and B, muttering horrible things about day-tippers and the busloads of Italian school groups clogging up the pavement. But it turns out that The Globe is not just a cool theatre experience, and that above the boozer there is also a restaurant. Walking up the steps into that long room, windows all around overlooking the mighty Thames but close enough that you feel you’re in it,  barges and pleasure boats pootling around, St Paul’s graceful dome dominating the background – now that makes an impression! It turns out that the food is not quite up to it. Maybe I ordered wrong, or maybe it was an off day, but it was basically pub food dressed posh, and I don’t mean the mysteriously awesome pub food you can get in so many random and hidden country spots. The place looked Roux or Galvin, but the food is in fact more Wetherspoon’s. As long as you remember that, and don’t order too adventurously then you will have a great night. This is a really special spot, and I would happily make it a regular Sunday outing, if it wasn’t so damned hard walking through all those people!

Little Georgia, 14 Barnsbury Road, London N1 OHB

Little Georgia, 14 Barnsbury Road, London N1 OHB

25/08/2013

www.littlegeorgia.co.uk

She said: He loves Georgian food so we hit Little Georgia after a show at Saddlers Wells in Angel. What a pleasant surprise. Given the basic website and the ‘conversation by delayed satellite’ way in which I made the reservation with a sweet dear on the phone, I was expecting a small, simple family kitchen. However, Little Georgia is housed in a beautiful converted corner pub with Georgian newsprint wallpaper, posters and other paraphernalia adorning the inside. The menu contained all the classics and the portions were big which meant we reverted to our over-ordering-type. We shared a delicious beetroot salad (which he was so impressed by he subsequently has made it at home); a giant bowl of borscht; badrijnis salad which contained succulent aubergine and my favourite – kotnis lobio, a warming bean stew. We also had the traditional Georgian cheese bread ‘khachapuri’ which was actually my least favourite as the bread was thick and heavy and the cheese slightly sour (maybe that’s how it’s meant to be) but overall this was a spectacular meal at good value. The total bill came to just over £30 and we left feeling heavy and happy.

He said: Little Georgia deserves to be packed to the rafters every night. But I don’t know how it would cope if it was: what’s great about this place is that it tastes just like home-cooked food & I’m sure that if you went into the kitchen there would be no-one else but a slightly plump Mum with a paisley shawl on her head and a mouth half-filled with gold teeth, working though a cloud of order slips. We went on a Sunday night, with room for dozens more, and waited god knows how long for our food. But it was worth every second. Nearly every dish we tried was the best version of that dish we’d had in any of London’s surprisingly many Georgian restaurants. The borshcht was killer, the aubergine caponata-type thing was killer, the beetroot salad was so good that the second I went home I scribbled the ingredients on the shopping list so that I could make it myself in case of emergency. Just the lobio was a bit of a let-down. If you haven’t had it before Georgian food is similar to middle eastern food with echoes of Iranian; but it is also the very best, most evolved version of that tradition. It’s all familiar, but indescribably and so satisfyingly different. Lots of hidden walnut, pomegranate etc. So, so good. When you mention Georgian food the dish that everybody bangs-on about is kacha puri (flat bread with cheese baked-in), which is great comfort food if you’ve just escaped from months of captivity in some Chechen hell-hole, but it’s kinda ‘meh’ compared to everything else. Here it was really very good: the bread fluffy, and the cheese not fatty. But next time I will have lobiani (the same thing except with a heady kidney-bean mash instead of cheese). Please let it be soon!

Picture, 110 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6PQ

Picture, 110 Great Portland Street, London W1W 6PQ

24/08/2013

www.picturerestaurant.co.uk

She said: He returned from a business trip early so I picked Picture for a lunchtime catch up. It was a lovely contrast to step in out of the grey, rainy London day into a bright, long, modern space with wooden floors and a glass roof at the rear of the room, which is where we were seated. The set lunchtime menu at £15 was fantastic value and each dish perfectly delicious. My tomato salad starter was full of flavour bursting from the different coloured tomatoes which mixed perfectly with cucumber and goats cheese. The haddock risotto was not what I expected (a piece of nicely cooked haddock placed a top some delicious risotto instead of the fish being mixed in which was my misgiving) and a chocolate mousse of the highest quality with summer berries to finish. At the end of the meal I felt comfortably satisfied as opposed to stuffed which suited me but I guess the dishes could each have been a bit bigger but I really shouldn’t complain as Picture offers a lovely smart yet relaxed space, good service and inventive food at great prices. More reason why it was sad we were the only diners – London, stop jumping on the same-ole-same-ole restaurant bandwagon and get wise to restaurants like Picture which should easily be a Fitzrovia favourite.

He said: I’m so glad that she somehow got Picture on her radar – no easy feat, I tell you: we’d walked past this place a few times, and never really noticed it. The shop-front is narrow and done-up very soberly – on previous walk-bys I thought that it was some hip Antipodean coffee bar and dismissed it. How quickly things can change. I liked everything about Picture: the lo-fi décor, the very seasonal ingredients, the incredibly cheap set menu; and I especially liked that it’s close to our place, not in Soho, and feels like your own little secret gem. This is definitely the kind of restaurant that I want in my ‘hood. Take people here if you want to seem like the clever clog that floats above all the trends. My only gripe is that the portions were small, but who can complain at £15 for 3 courses, and they didn’t mind us stretching it out for a couple of hours. If anyone is reading this, please go: we were practically the only people there on the day. God bless Picture. Amen.

Tandis, 73 Haverstock Hill, Belsize Park, London NW3 4SL

Tandis, 73 Haverstock Hill, Belsize Park, London NW3 4SL

17/08/2013

http://tandis-belsizepark.co.uk

She said: We were in the mood for some good Persian food and remembered Tandis which we had visited a while ago. This neighbourhood restaurant is easy to miss unassumingly set back on a main road but miss it at your peril. Tandis is the real thing. Fantastic Persian food at good value. The space itself has the standard local feel: contemporary but family. The menu is huge and offers the full range of Persian dishes with lots for vegetarians. Portions are generous and though we wanted to order most things we forced ourselves to be realistic. I had the ‘Aloo Esfenaaj’ which is a superb, moreish stew containing amongst other things, spinach and dried plums in a tangy sauce. I shared his ‘Ghormeh Sabzi’ which was a stew of beans and potato with dried limes which again was delicious. We also shared a starter of ‘Loobiya’ which are warm mixed beans in a tomato sauce (not dissimilar to baked beans). Including soft drinks the bill came to £27. We love this place – and it inspired him to buy a Persian cookery book.

He said: Of the various Persian restaurants we’ve tried I think this is the one that we like the best (in London). I’m not sure if it’s because it’s actually the best, or because it serves this stunning spinach-and-plums stew which we haven’t found anywhere else – vegetarians of London go and check this dish out! It’s really great. The food at Tandis is nice, but let’s be honest - it is in NW3 and a drag getting there. Whereas we live pretty close to Edgware Road where there must be at least half a dozen Persian restaurants on two or three bocks. I’ve totally fallen in love with Iranian cooking, so I hope that we go and try them all out soon – watch this space. Until then I’m sure we will keep making the pilgrimage to Tandis. By the way, the décor here is far removed from the usual ‘Cyrus’s Palace’ vibe; so if you’re allergic to statues of lions and gold everywhere, then this is the place for you.

The Lockhart, 24 Seymour Place, London W1H 7NL

10/08/2013

http://lockhartlondon.com/ 

She said: He read about The Lockhart in a magazine and as people that like to think we’re in the know about the local eating goings-on we made a beeline for this contemporary ‘tex mex’. On first impressions, The Lockhart appears more like a fancy Spanish tapas place with rustic wooden tables and chairs and little tapas-sounding dishes on the menu. So we were curious to try this new approach to tex-mex. We ordered a mix of dishes including black bean enchiladas and crispy okra bites and a side of mac ‘n’ cheese. The experience was mixed. Some dishes, like the okra had no flavour and were underwhelming. While the enchiladas and pasta were tasty but portions a bit on the small side. Restaurants usually leave an impression, be it good or bad whereas The Lockhart, like it’s food, was pleasant enough but easily forgettable. A good enough local place if you’re in the neighbourhood and happy with good enough.

He said: The menu looked really promising so, wanting to try it all, I decided to skip mains and just have a bunch of small plates. The mac and cheese was very nice (although not as nice as at Automat) but the crab hush puppies and okra bites were both kind of bland, unless you slathered them in the dipping sauces, which seems wrong. Before going I really wanted to like this place, but I left feeling a little lukewarm about it. There’s lots left on the menu to try, which I hope to do soon; but really I think of this place more as nice, different place to hang out, rather than destination dining.

Baltic, 74 Blackfriars Rd London SE1 8AH

Baltic, 74 Blackfriars Rd  London SE1 8AH

04/08/2013

www.balticrestaurant.co.uk

She said: Armed with a new restaurant discount card and in the area after attempting and failing to get into the Guinness Book of World Records thank to an abysmally organised event by ‘Ride London’, we hit Baltic for digestive respite. Promoted as ‘Eastern European’ Baltic is a delightful surprise. You enter an unassuming dark entrance next to a neighbourhood pub and pass a long bar which then opens into a vast, stunning, contemporary dining space bursting with natural light coming through the skylights above a 40 foot wood-beamed ceiling. This former 18th Century coach builder’s works offers a wonderful mix of dishes that blend traditional and contemporary foods from places such as Georgia, Poland and Russia along with a long list of flavoured vodka shots which are hard to resist. I started with a fig, smoked artichoke and rocket salad which was heavenly, achieving the perfect mix of salty and sweet; I followed this with the salmon blini but mistakenly ordered the main sized portion which came with four warm, saucer sized blinis and ample salmon; the starter portion of two blinis would have allowed room for dessert, which I sadly had to pass on despite the superb range of options. Service was efficient and pleasant and the atmosphere at Baltic is chic, smart and  yet relaxed. The bill was reasonable for such fine food and setting at £30 for two (including £20 off with our discount)! Baltic is one to come back to.

He said: as if we didn’t eat in restaurants enough as it is, we now have a card that gives us 50% off in a bunch of places. It’s like giving crack to Lance Armstrong, or a loaded gun to a baby. Totally irresponsible. But it turns out that Baltic is giving love away, and so we had to go. This is a place that we discovered a decade ago, but like most places that we like, we tell ourselves we’ll go back but then we don’t. Except that in Baltic’s case there was a good reason – it burned down some time ago, and had to be rebuilt. The place looks great: the bright, modern dining room and its cathedral-height ceiling cunningly concealed behind a dark and narrow front of house. Miles away from the rustic Polish village thing, and definite wow factor. And park any stereotypes that you may have about Eastern European food (donkey sausages, pork & potato milkshakes, etc): Baltic makes all the classics but with a very light touch. Of course I had to have the pirogi which here were fluffy pillows of potato and cheese under a thin, lightly fried skin of dough. I shovelled them in. Then I followed with blinis served with finely chopped mushrooms, cucumber in yogurt, and aubergine caviar (like baba ganoush) – so much better than the more usual salmon version. Most Slavic people have got a totally irrational and deeply passionate thing for mushrooms, so it was really great to see this on the menu. Add to this superb food a vast array of flavoured wodkas and you’ve got a winner. It’s no wonder that Baltic has been kicking butt for more than a decade. I’d love for this place to be around the corner from me.

Grain Store, Granary Square, 1-3 Stable Street, N1C 4AB

Grain Store, Granary Square, 1-3 Stable Street, N1C 4AB

26/07/2013

www.grainstore.com

She said: The ongoing transformation of the King’s Cross area is resulting in the creation of a contemporary-industrial, food and arts hub within the former warehouses and canal-side derelict buildings…Granary Square is now a great open square with balletic fountains, the University of the Arts and a number of urban chic restaurants of which Grain Store is one. The outdoor terrace was very appealing overlooking the life of the square but we decided to eat inside and enjoy the open kitchen and modern yet rustic- interior. Despite walking into an almost empty restaurant we were informed we could only have a seat at the bar; when I scoffed we were offered two seats next to each other at a long, empty communal table. As we hadn’t reserved we accepted so I was miffed when on leaving only a handful of tables were actually being used (what’s that about)? Moving on however, the food was fantastic. I had a beetroot, pickled onion and labneh starter which was light but full of flavour and I ‘tried’ some of his courgette, chick pea and prawn falafel which was extremely moreish. For mains I has the starter special of truffle risotto which was absolutely delicious and very rich so the starter portion worked perfectly as a main. The dessert menu options were equally creative but I was craving chocolate (which was absent) so we settled our bill - £45 including one beer and one juice - and went on our merry, happy way. Will definitely be back ( if seated properly).

He said: it’s pretty amazing what’s going on in Kings Cross. In the blink of an eye all the ‘character’ (ie zombie junkies, limping prostitutes, vomiting suburban clubbers, sketchy baldies clutching brown paper bags, etc.) have all been swept away and replaced with the kind of breezy, fun, and optimistic town planning that is so nice it’s almost Canadian. I know we Londoners have grown only to like things that are a struggle and/or almost good, but go check out this Brave New Corner of our old city; so different that it’s almost its own little mini state, like Christiana, in Copenhagen, minus the drugs. We hit Grain Store after sweating-up an appetite roller-skating to the oldies at the pop-up roller disco nearby(!). Grain Store, like the New Kings Cross, is bright, breezy, urbane and international – I mean, look at what I had to eat: falafels made of broad beans, courgette and prawns, followed by vegetarian merguez in a bun. Wow. This is seriously mixed-up, jabberwocky, post-modern stuff. The falafel was awesome, though the prawn was a little lost and perhaps unnecessary. The veggie merguez was a let down: the ‘sausage’ was too dry and not spicy enough, the bun also too dry, and the relish too sweet. I must have had a duff one, because there’s no way Chef would munch this and keep it on the menu.  I grew up in an area with lots of Moroccans, and gobbled a lot of these in my pre-veggie days. Merguez is like my Madeleine.  It’s unique and one of those foods that definitely deserves UNESCO protection, or whatever. Perhaps a good veggie one is an aberration, like a London where everything works. But I applaud Grain Store for the attempt, and I will try this again.