Hafez, 5 Hereford Road, London W2 4AB

Hafez, 5 Hereford Road, London W2 4AB
www.hafezrestaurant.co.uk

22/11/2014

She said: We love Persian and this place was recommended to us by local Persians so we had to go. Unassuming on a Notting Hill side street, Hafez is a small but perfectly formed gem. The knick-knack décor inside is quirky and endearing and the menu has a good choice of mezze and main dishes. For the first time that I can remember, they made the Ash soup the way my Iranian childhood’s family used to make it – thick, rich in herbs and no pasta (it just never seems right with the pasta that most Persian restaurants seem to add). So good. The warm aubergine dip with the oven-baked Persian bread was compulsively good. Our Persian acquaintances has recommended the pomegranate stew (Fesenjan) which is normally with meat but the menu offered a vegetarian version. The stew sauce was tremendous but sadly vegetarian meant no meat but nothing else – literally just the sauce. A couple of vegetables would have done wonders. Luckily we also had the absolutely delicious Ghorme Sabzi with the herbs and kidney beans making my mouth water with every bite. When we received the bill it came with the juiciest baklava, better than any after-dinner mint ever produced. Hafez is an excellent neighbourhood Persian and probably the best I’ve been to. I wish they did my favourite tamarind fish dish, but even so the menu has enough to come back for, at good value.

He said: Hafez, named after Iran's answer to Shakespeare, was recommended to us by an Iranian couple who swore it was the best Persian in London, and also dissed another place around the corner which I agreed was over-hyped. So we hightailed it to Hafez at the earliest opportunity, and ordered a couple of classics: Fesenjan and Gormeh Subzi. Both were very tasty but I was really mystified when the veggie version of the Fesenjan came with no veggies: sauce only.  OK it tastes best with chicken, but that is just weird. Having said that, the flavours of everything we ate were just great. I also liked that Hafez has been around a very long time and has that neighbourhood restaurant vibe. I would definitely go back, but I can't help but think that London's best Iranian has yet to be found. I will be enjoying looking for it!

Dishoom, 1 Stable Street, London N1C 4AA

Dishoom, 1 Stable Street, London N1C 4AA
www.dishoom.com
08/11/2014

She said: We were in on the first day of the soft launch so even the website didn’t mention the latest addition to what is becoming the Dishoom chain. Forget the other branches, this St Pancras-based wonder will blow you away. I can spend ages praising the stunning industrial space with a great open first floor dining space and stylish basement bar; and go through the magnificent list of fantastic food and drink options which led us to order as much as we could fit on the table but this is really somewhere you have to go yourself. I was so overwhelmed by the grand setting, delicious chilli martini and compulsive flavours in everything from prawns to beans that the fact I found a bit of plastic in one of my mouthfuls (which the manager guessed was from packaging) and that my yoghurt was forgotten were minor mishaps in an otherwise perfect experience. Yes the 50% off helped, along with the lovely company of a good friend and him of course but service was keen and friendly and Dishoom just has that buzz balanced with calm that makes you want to keep coming back. I hope they don’t lose the magic when this place becomes over-run, which it will.

He said: this branch of Dishoom is miles better than the 'ho hum' Leicester Square branch we hit some time back.  The huge converted Kings Cross warehouse space is perfectly suited to Dishoom's street food/railway snacks gambit. It's a very cool space to hang out in, and with lots of good reasons to keep you there: the cocktail list is extensive, and the menu has been made more veggie-friendly. We went during soft launch, armed with a half off discount, so we ordered much more than usual. Every dish we tried has been engineered to be the best version of itself. The crispy fried bindi is like crack, the black dhal is excellent, the kati rolls delicious, and ditto the stewed kidney beans. We went back with my brother a little while later, paid full whack, and still enjoyed it.  My only minus is that the menu is not as extensive as in most traditional Indian restaurants, so you might end up repeating yourself on return visits. But what you do get there is really great, and the vibe is very cool and laid back.  I'm looking forward to going back already!

Pachamama, 18 Thayer Street, London W1U 3JY

Pachamama, 18 Thayer Street, London W1U 3JY
www.pachamamalondon.com

26/10/2014

She said: Another new Peruvian, this time just down the road. Pachamama is easy to miss with its tiny door along the forgotten end of Marylebone High Street but as you walk down the narrow stairs you enter a vast underground series of dining spaces with a warm, homely vibe. I’ll say upfront, Pachamama is not cheap. In fact, prices are high (but not high enough to call stupid), portions are small (but again just enough to avoid being called stingy) but the saviour is the flavour – delicious. Everything tasted divine. The cocktails yummy, the ceviche fresh with mouth-watering zing, warm dishes like plantain melt with every spoonful. I wish the run of excellent Peruvian restaurant launches in London were just a bit more reasonably priced to allow for regular dining but for a night out after pay-day, this place is worth it.

He said: as far as the quality of food goes this is probably the best of the many Peruvian restaurants we tried. The food was really great: subtle flavour combinations and great presentation, but I just wish that there was much more of it. The twist here is that though Peruvian, the dishes have been tweaked to include locally fished and farmed ingredients. We went during the soft launch and got everything half price otherwise we easily would have spent £70 each, and been left wanting more. When you add to this that the basement space itself, though nice, lacks that wow factor you're not left with much to justify the price. Pachamama is really all about the food; which might be fine for die-hard foodies, but others, me included, might like some razzed dazzle for the price. I loved the food here, but will probably only go back if someone else is paying.

Shikara, 65 Great Titchfield Street, London W1W 7PS

Shikara, 65 Great Titchfield Street, London W1W 7PS
No website

25/10/2014

She said: It’s 2014 but power cuts still remind us we’re at the mercy of the fat cat energy companies…After digging around for torches and finally convincing him it was not at all romantic to cook and eat dinner in our dark home, we hit this local Indian. I had noticed Shikara whilst waiting for my nails to dry across the road and thought it would be great to find a good local Indian so was keen to test it out. Short answer, it failed. On entering, it has all the qualities of a reliable classic: dated décor, Bollywood tunes from the last century, mafia-types having brow-raised conversations over buckets of curry and a long menu. Unfortunately when the food arrived it was clearly tailored to those of you who like your more bland flavours. It’s not that the food was bad; it just lacked any spice or authenticity of the east. Plain Jane, such a shame.

He said: we checked-out Shikara on impulse, having been locked out of our kitchen by a power cut literally as I was about to start dinner. This Indian restaurant is a short walk away from our place, and we were lured-in by its shabby-but-clean appearance and menu of classics: it looked like Shikara had been in business a while, and that it might do the home style version of Indian cuisine which really is the best. Unfortunately our bubble burst pretty quickly. Shikara evidently advertises in local hotels, or the Eurostar magazine, because most tables were filled by continentals, and the kitchen has very regrettably adjust the spicing to suit our European cousins' timid palates. Bummer. In my book there is no bigger let down than disappointing indian food.

Quaglino’s, 16 Bury Street St James's, London SW1Y 6AJ

Quaglino’s, 16 Bury Street St James's, London SW1Y 6AJ 

www.quaglinos-restaurant.co.uk
13/10/2014

She said: I remember coming here maybe 15 years ago and really enjoying the experience so when he noticed a re-launch I quickly made a booking. Too much time has passed to compare with the previous experience but Quaglino’s post-make-over is equally impressive with its vast dining space approached via a sweeping art deco staircase. The whole space feels very plush and special without being fussy. There’s a stage at the front of the dining room which apparently hosts live bands and a dance space and I love the seating around the edges of the room with a shimmering bar in the centre. The upstairs bar is also a great space for a cocktail and people watching. I went all out with three courses, starting with a delicious smoked salmon accompanied by a horseradish sauce, capers and onions. This was followed by a perfectly cooked cod and complimented by the glazed red cabbage. It was worth squeezing in the desert which was a heavenly chocolate marquise, amongst the best ever. Prices are fine for Mayfair and I would definitely recommend Quaglino’s for special occasions. The atmosphere-food combo did not disappoint. Another great joint to come back to.

He said: The 80s are back! That old stalwart of bygone excess has had a spiffing up and got some of its mojo back. In contrast with the sleepy streets of its clubby St James's neighbourhood you can't help but feel like the coolest cat walking down Quag's fabled staircase and into the vast and glamorous Gotham Deco styled dining room. There's a buzzy bar area, and also a cabaret/dance space at the front to help crank up the fun a few more notches on Thursdays to Saturdays. All excellent for people watching and for being seen. The food is modern British/European and well executed, although the portions are a little on the small side, reminding you that there is probably someone at the back weighing out each scrap of fish, and that this is a business and not all about fun. St James's has had a mini revival on the food front lately, and the new Quag is a fun, let you hair down alternative to delicious but slightly boring Murano and Boulestin.

The Mermaid Inn, Mermaid Street, Rye, TN31 7EY

The Mermaid Inn, Mermaid Street, Rye, TN31 7EY
www.mermaidinn.com

12/10/2014

She said: Wow, what a find! After a few hours hiking from Hastings to Rye (with the help of a taxi) I had booked the Mermaid Inn on the basis of it seeming like an historical inn, with good food (including a vegetarian menu) on a pedestrian cobbled street. In fact it was a stunning inn, with spectacular food (including creative vegetarian options) on a beautiful ye-ole-England cobbled street. It took us about 10 minutes just to go into the Inn while we picked our jaws off the floor aghast at the picturesque location; the same again when entering the most authentic inn dining space I’ve ever seen. The menu had lots of choice so I went for the pumpkin veloute and black olive risotto – both generous portions and just perfect. I cursed my stomach for not having room for any of the amazing sounding puddings. I really didn’t want to leave the Mermaid Inn and found myself browsing details about their guest rooms with four poster beds and the festive plans for Christmas. The Mermaid Inn is reason alone to make a day-trip to Rye, build up an appetite and then spend the rest of the afternoon there. It will take you to another world. Just perfect.

He said: Rye is an impossibly pretty town, perhaps the prettiest in all southern England, and the Mermaid is one of the most evocative buildings in a town full of history. If I remember correctly it's cobbled from a number of Elizabethan houses and, though the vibe is informal, the waiters are decked out in formal wear to honour the place's long history. Remarkably for this fairly remote and conservative part of the country the Mermaid actually has a parallel vegetarian menu, which goes to show how far things have come along for the much-ridiculed Veggie Fraternity. Perhaps this came about as a result of the battalions of slebs that have dined here over the years; the walls of the Mermaid are decked out with their portraits. The food was very nice, and if it lacked a little bit in finesse, this was more than made right by the excellent atmosphere. The Mermaid Inn is definitely the kind of place where you want to spend a couple of days, exploring the area and rewarding yourself with some fine grub.

L’Anima Café, 10 Appold St, London EC2A 2AP

L’Anima Café, 10 Appold St, London EC2A 2AP
www.lanimacafe.co.uk
11/10/2014

She said: It was one of those yucky, rainy London days and we were in the East End suit shopping for him. After some cultural adventures we were hungry and happened upon L’Anima Café which is next to the fancier restaurant which I have been wanting to go to for a while. The restaurant was closed for lunch but the café was welcoming so we went in. The café space is a large, warm, colourful place with a wood fire oven for pizza, clearly what you should really order here. But I wasn’t in the mood for pizza so ordered a cannelloni which was really delicious and great value at £8.50; in fact because of the price he got twitchy about me ordering it thinking it would be a tiny portion but alas he was wrong and I would have struggled to eat anything else – as proven by my failed plans to raid his pizza. I did squeeze one slice of pizza in which again was delicious. L’Anima was a good accidental find and worth coming to if in the Liverpool Street/Shoreditch area and prices are much better value than the restaurant next door and the atmosphere relaxed but chic – though I remain keen to compare.

He said: We stumbled into L’Anima somewhat by chance but next time I assure you it will be by design – I enjoyed pretty much everything about it. Given its location (at the foot of a brand new skyscraper in the city) you might guess that this isn’t going to be the candle-in-chianti-bottle variety of Italian. It’s bright, sleek, smart but laid-back, and modern; well, modern in design at least: Italians being fussier eaters than just about anyone else I’ve met, every dish is the survivor of generations of Italians bickering about its precise constituents and preparation. Lucky for us too: I had a delicious chick pea soup to start, followed by a garlic pizza which was exactly as advertised: with at least a whole head of garlic cloves, their heat mellowed by slow caramelizing. L’Anima is around the corner from its ritzier, fine-dining sibling, but being partial to big portions and small prices, I’d quite happy keep coming back here instead. The drinks list is good too; this would be an excellent choice for a night out with a bunch of people.

Brasserie Max, Covent Garden Hotel, Monmouth Street, London WC2H 9HB

Brasserie Max, Covent Garden Hotel, Monmouth Street, London WC2H 9HB
www.coventgardenhotel.co.uk

04/10/2014

She said: I booked the film club which offers three courses for £35 in the buzzing hotel brasserie plus a movie in the chic screening room. I was looking forward to the meal and had deliberately reduced my food intake for the day in anticipation. After struggling to get attention to place our order, we advised the waitress that we had booked the film club so needed to eat within 90 minutes (a reasonable time period for most restaurants). Her response was a very high pitch assertion that we were not the only film club people and we would be served in good time. The set menu looked appetising; I went for a tuna cerviche to start but alas, the tuna had no taste and was drowned in what tasted like orange juice. After about a 25 minute wait we checked on our mains (as customers who arrived after us were being served well before us); again a shrill voice said some words which amounted to ‘what are you complaining about, we know what we’re doing’. To add insult to injury, she had the cheek to say ‘well you asked us to make changes to your main so that’s caused the delay (this referred to my asking for spinach with my salmon instead of beans – not something I was warned would create a kitchen crisis)! Turns out the wait was not worth it; the salmon was fine, cooked as it should be but the spinach tasted gritty. The only saving grace was the chocolate brownie which was indeed a rich, lovely chocolate pudding in a toffee sauce. I would expect more from Brasserie Max, part of the Firmdale group which owns Ham Yard and the Charlotte Street hotels amongst others when what we got was more of a mid-range chain churning out standard, forgettable dishes for the Covent Garden tourist crowd knowing you’ll never see them again. Disappointing.

He said: It’s very unlikely that we would’ve gone to Max’s if it hadn’t been for the enticement of their Film Club package: who wants to venture into the epicentre of touristy London on a Saturday night? But with three courses and a movie for £35; how could you go wrong?! Turns out you can. Given the time of week (psychotic Saturday) you could count on service niggles, which we got in spades. But this is a Firmdale joint, and though it’s by no means at the cutting edge of the culinary arts, you certainly wouldn’t expect a bland cream sauce pappardelle, or barely cleaned, gritty spinach. It’s definitely time for head office to send the Quality Control gang to knock some heads together. Whoever’s managing Max’s just doesn’t care anymore. Given the location there are plenty of alternatives, so at the best of times there wouldn’t be any reason to go into Max’s; I hope I’ve given you one less.

Betty Blythe, 73 Blythe Road, London W14 0HP

Betty Blythe, 73 Blythe Road, London W14 0HP

www.bettyblythe.co.uk

28/09/2014

She said: I was so excited to visit this off-the-tourist track ‘vintage tea room’ in a quiet residential street in Kensington so was equally disappointed when it so horrendously failed to meet my expectations. These expectations were simple things like being served in a timely manner, the joy of seeing the tiered plates of cakes arranged beautifully on vintage china while wrestling with what order to eat my sugary treats in and spreading a thin layer of clotted cream and huge scoop of jam across a warm scone. Instead, the tea room was an uninspiring and very hot space with three tables squeezed in. Our tea arrived around 20 minutes before a plate of standard sandwiches (cucumber, egg and salmon). We then had another long wait before a plate of pre-spread scones were brought to us at which point we proceeded to scrape away the humongous lump of clotted cream plopped on the scone and try to make the most of the tiny spoon of jam atop. I’ve done my fair share of afternoon teas and this is the first time the scones have come pre-loaded with the cream and ration of jam. As the waitress removed our plates and noticed the scraped slabs of cream on the side, she commented ‘you don’t like cream’ to which I simply replied ‘not that much’…Still, I waited for the highlight, the tiered presentation of yummy cakes but instead came a mini brownie on a single plate. Hmm, okay, I ate this, it was good but what was going on? 15 minutes later one mini loaf of lemon drizzle on a plate which we cut in half and shared. Again fine. He thought this was it but I thought surely not…Another 10 minutes or so later we were offered a choice of macaroon flavours, I went for pistachio which again arrived on a single plate looking very lonely and tasting very sugary with little evidence of any nut flavour. And then we came to an end. A rather bizarre vintage tea experience. There were some attempts at fun, like the box of vintage hats we were encouraged to wear when we arrived but these all looked a bit manky and made me hot and itchy. It did make me reflect on how anyone can open a room, bake a few cakes, spread some sandwiches and brand it vintage but equally appreciate the few that get it right.

He said: In short Betty Blythe is over-rated. Perhaps people are excited because it’s in a random part of town (Earl’s Court) where there’s not that much going on, unless the dog grooming show, or the ideal home show are rocking the joint around the corner. Maybe a Time Out boffin lives nearby and has been busily tweeting about Betty’s. Don’t get me wrong: it’s fine, but there really ain’t much to write home about, or to go out of your way for. BB’s goes for a homely vibe, being set in the ground floor of a corner terraced house, with lots of knick-kacks to play with (feather boas, hats, etc.). But our first experience of it, having arrived a few minutes early, was a frosty reception; of course we couldn’t take our table early, despite nearly all of them being empty. It turns out that the ladies dunking the tea bags are actually French, so I gave them a pass; by Parisian standards we had got the star treatment. Everything was ok, but both food and drink were unmemorable, and served really slowly in dribs and drabs. The chuckle sisters just couldn’t cope with loading the pre-prepared goodies all at once on the three-tiered stand; so much for the traditional experience. I actually saw them turn away a bunch of people who walked in just wanting to order take away coffees. I guess they’re not in it for the money, but for the love of tradition. Don’t bother, unless you’re nearby.    

The Colony, Beaumont Hotel, 8 Balderton Street, London W1K 6TF

The Colony, Beaumont Hotel, 8 Balderton Street, London W1K 6TF
www.colonygrillroom.com

27/09/2014

She said: A brand new hotel opening on our doorstep with a restaurant from the folk who operate the Brasserie Zedel, so we had to have a try. The Colony can’t be missed with its central location almost immediately on entering through the art deco doors of The Beaumont. As I walked through the American Bar into the restaurant I was encouraged by the dark wood walls and red banquettes with photos and artwork working hard to create that jazz age era. This would have worked really well if some jazz had been playing but the absence of any sort of music left a slight emptiness in the atmosphere. I should confess, we were visiting on the last day of the soft launch so drills were still in the background no doubt dealing with last-minute snagging and waiters weren’t allowed to flambe at the table until the various regulatory requirements had been met. The service was clearly in the test phase with friendly French staff keen to help but sometimes having to double check what certain things on the menu were. Nevertheless, service was welcoming and professional. The menu offers a range of British-American dishes, nothing exceptional but all fine for such an establishment. Prices are on the high side for what you get. I ordered a kedgeree which was unlike any I’ve had before but in a positive sense. It had a strong curry flavour to it which worked for me though the portion could have been a little more generous. I hit jackpot ordering the chocolate marquise for dessert which was outstanding. Certainly can’t complaint about portion size here – a huge square of gianduja with a nutty ice cream. The tea came in a beautiful art deco silver pot which easily carried four cups so it seems it’s just the main dishes that are more carefully portioned out. I was actually enjoying my time at the Colony until he pointed out it felt dead. I normally leave it to him to say what he thought but once he pointed it out, I did sense something wasn’t working. The space had a slight old man feel to it (I think it’s going for the old school gentleman’s club vibe). I still think a bit of Nina Simone would have solved that concern. Still, given the price versus what you get and where you are, there are better options in town.

He said: On the day that we went I can’t say that I found much to get excited about by Colony. It’s, in effect, glorified diner food, or Classic American, if you’re feeling generous, and served in a grand-ish deco space. I don’t get it; who is this for? Is this a socially-acceptable alternative to McDonald’s for timid or home-sick American package holiday makers who can’t deal with jellied eels and other ‘authentic’ British delicacies? The silver-haired diners filling the room when we went definitely suggest people looking for comfort food; but maybe that’s the demographic to expect at brunch. It was lacking any buzz, and feeling awkward, like the jarring combination of food and setting. We went during soft-launch, which took the edge off; I would have been in a foul mood had I paid full price for my mac & cheese, mushroom & spinach hash, and baked Alaska. Still, given the location and the august backers, I’m sure Colony will fill up with Bright Young Things convinced that they are at the epicentre of gilded and ironic cool.

Lupita, 13-15 Villiers Street, London WC2N 6ND

Lupita, 13-15 Villiers Street, London WC2N 6ND

www.lupita.co.uk

21/09/2014

She said: We were on a busy schedule nosing around London’s Open House so we headed to Lupita for a Mexican lunch break. We had come across Lupita in Selfridges a few months ago where we sampled something cheesy and said we’d try their full restaurant experience. Tucked on a corner of the busy Villiers Street, Lupita is a fairly standard looking modern space but once you get a hold of the menu things change. There’s a huge array of dishes to choose from and overcome with hunger we picked a selection from various sections of the menu. Everything was amazing; great flavours, decent portions, creative dishes. I wouldn’t have the cactus again, simply because on my first taste I realised I don’t like cactus. I also thought the fish ceviche was not for me but a good portion and he seemed to enjoy it. We didn’t have time for desserts but they sounded worthwhile. Lupita is a good option of you want reasonably priced, tasty Mexican food with lots of healthy and chubby choices for everyone. Would definitely go back.

He said: We stepped into Lupita with few expectations, and these were easily surpassed! Mexican food has been the victim of Old El Paso-style chemical warfare for far too long, and it’s only with the likes of Wahaca (just) that the reputation of this much maligned cuisine has finally been burnished. You probably haven’t been to Mehico, and neither have I. But I’ve been to San Diego, which is as close as you can get without a border frisking, and where you can get genuinely, authentically knock-out Mexican food. Lupita is the first place I’ve been to in London that delivers that wonderful combination of heartiness, cut through with zingy spiciness. The menu is extensive, with something there for everyone, vegetarians included. My only gripe is that service was slow, which I’ll chalk up to Sunday slowness. And at that price point you might expect a slightly more comfortable space: Lupita was clearly shoe-horned into some Edwardian wreck of a building and on the chilly day we attended all the doors were propped open to ventilate the grills. But these are minor points to balance out an otherwise really good experience. Another day another favourite! 

Terre a Terre, 71 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ

Terre a Terre, 71 East Street, Brighton, BN1 1HQ

www.terreaterre.co.uk

31/08/2014

She said: A couple of years ago we walked off the street having read an intriguing menu at this smart vegetarian but it was fully booked. Then in June I reserved a table in anticipation of a trip to Brighton which was cancelled due to pneumonia. So when the weather looked good for a day-trip, I hoped the third attempt would be lucky – which indeed it was. Terre a Terre is a deceptively large, contemporary space with a fantastic menu offering original, fresh vegetarian creations which took a while to choose from. Prices are mid-range but worth it. The starter was a heavenly sweetcorn cake unlike anything I have tasted before. I was excited for the next round and waited in anticipation; and waited, and waited and waited. The waitress came over and was proactive in apologising for the delay but promised the wait would not be much longer. However, close to an hour after arriving and seeing other couples who had arrived after us being served dessert he complained. The waitress sounded sincere in her apologies and then the mains arrived. I had ordered something called ‘Bonbon beets and bigarade’ which was good but essentially a roasted potato waffle with some pickled beetroot and some garnish in a tomato-like sauce (butter bean in actuality). Next time I would order something else – what he had was more interesting for example but he can tell you about that. The best was definitely saved for last. Dessert was outstanding. I ordered the chocolate pot and was like a little girl opening her Frozen doll when a trio of magic was presented on a plate: a mini brandy milkshake; a dark chocolate cup filled with crumbly chocolate and topped with a lemon cream; and a killer chocolate salted caramel truffle on a lolly stick. This truly was dessert heaven and the wait for the main was long forgiven. Terre a Terre is a classy, elegant, sophisticated diamond of a vegetarian in a country of one too many hungry hippie cafes that serve stodgy, stereotypical staples. This place is bang up to date and must have brought many a meat-eater into the light.  Although the food delay was not good, the waitress was gracious in automatically deducting the main courses from our bill while he wandered around the restaurant buying salted truffles. Bottom line: if you’re in Brighton, make this top of your hit list (but reserve first).

He said: What a bummer that Terre à Terre is an hour away on a fast train! If it was in London I would definitely make this a regular; it is my favourite of the vegetarians we tried, ahead of The Gate in W6. What gives this one the edge is the sheer inventiveness of the cooking: reading the menu is exciting stuff and choosing is actually a struggle, it’s all so well described. This place is not just about the thrill of cooking, it’s also about the thrill of eating: it’s not merely prettily arranged ‘art on a plate’. Terre à terre clearly gets that eating out is as much about showing off its wizardry as it is about punters walking away feeling happy. There was a minor bump in the road to happiness, with our food coming our rather late, but even that couldn’t stop us being blown away by the food. The stand-out dish for me was a delicious spin on Japanese slow-cooked aubergine. But pretty much anything on the menu is evidence of the kitchen’s passion for flavour, texture, colour and fun. There’s no mock meat of any sort, no apology made for anything, as though it’s a given that, of course, Vegetarian is the greatest cuisine of them all. In fact you could easily not notice that this place is veggie. But what sets Terre à terre apart from so many others, veggie or not, is that it really cares, which is all too uncommon these days of timed slots, and miserly portion control. If I had money to burn (if only) I would definitely bankroll a second opening somewhere in London.

Mo Café, Heddon Street, London W1B 4BH

Mo Café, Heddon Street, London W1B 4BH

http://momoresto.com/restaurant/london/momo

30/08/2014

She said: I’d just finished ploughing through an afternoon tea book he bought me and was keen to try out Mo Café, the informal neighbour to Momo – the trendy, pricier Moroccan off Regent Street. At £22, the afternoon tea promised ‘the essence of Morocco’.  We decided to sit out on the plant-enclosed terrace, a world away from the busy, tourist-filled shopping streets of Piccadilly. The Moroccan mint tea I chose was compulsive but it was irritating that I had to wave down a waiter each time I wanted a refill (which was around every three sips from the pretty little glass). An exciting food-filled cake stand was brought out and I like the fact that there were two of everything (except the biscuits) so we both were able to try the same things. The savouries were good but not enough. It included a small but succulent falafel wrap, some mini toasted breads with juicy spreads, a yummy small cheese pastry but a disappointing salmon sandwich where I had to hunt for the scrap of fish. The tea was definitely slanted in favour of the sweets which were deliciously faultless and included a smooth, tasty brownie, pistachio macaroon and creamy lemon cake. The scone was as boring as I’ve come to expect but a real discovery was the Maghreb pastries, which turned out to be the most flavoursome sugar dusted, almond biscuits in the world. I was annoyed when presented with the bill and noticed the teas had been charged at an additional £10 but a new bill was presented quickly when they saw me notice (afternoon tea normally includes the tea in the price)! One for the tourists or an honest mistake? Still, Mo Café is a good alternative for some tea and cake when needing a break or change of scene from the craziness that is London.

He said: Tea at Momo’s is a really good proposition which, on our visit, was let down by lacklustre service. The setting is a great contrast to the hustle and bustle of Regent’s Street, especially on a nice day when you can take your tea on the terrace. The exotic nibbles are a really nice change from the traditional offering, and of very good quality, as you’d expect from Momo’s. Although these aren’t refreshed (as they sometimes are, increasingly rarely, and mostly out-of-town) but the quantity was fine, even if you cheated and skipped lunch; but I do wish that there were more of the savouries, especially since these are standards (falafel, cheesy filo, etc.) prepared in huge batches and round the clock for the main restaurant. Afternoon tea is obviously a luxury, and punters tend to justify the indulgence as a special occasion thing, expecting stellar service and setting. At Momo’s we turned up and no-one seemed to know about our booking, we had to ask often for refills, for the bill, and then for a correction to the bill; in short the front of house just didn’t care. Afternoon tea is as much about the experience as it is about the nosh; and without attentive service you might as well save money and just order a sharing plate of meze and a pot of mint tea. 

Ham Yard Hotel, Ham Yard, London W1D 7DT

Ham Yard Hotel, Ham Yard, London W1D 7DT

www.firmdalehotels.com/hotels/london/ham-yard-hotel

29/08/2014

She said: Mum’s 78^th so I needed something on the Piccadilly Line within a two-minute walk of the station. The new Ham Yard Hotel, part of the Firmdale group which owns a number of style hotels in London seemed to provide a varied menu in a smart but relaxed setting. From the outset, service was friendly and our particular waitress was exceptional in making mum feel special. We were seated at a banquette in the middle of the colourful dining space which my parents loved. They all ordered starters but as nothing appealed to me I thought I’d save room for dessert and ordered a delicious martini instead. The bread presentation was a bit odd: a lady came round and placed a mini baguette on each plate. In restaurants of this ‘positioning’ I’m used to being offered some sort of choice (brown or white for example) and certainly checking if indeed we’d actually like bread at all. Still, I tore the rather chunky baguette and took a couple of bites to pass the time. My main was perfection: a good portion of juicy trout, with perfectly cooked roasted potatoes and courgette. Though I was hesitant over pudding as there was no sign of chocolate on the menu, I went with the blueberry tart which was a wonderful surprise; sweet, juicy, crumbly pastry and a dollop of clotted cream, much of which my diabetic dad dug into with repetitive praise (it contained fruit so he figures that’s okay). Though mum ordered a crème brulee which she enjoyed to the last spoonful, the staff brought out a pretty cupcake with a candle as they sang Happy Birthday. This was a really lovely touch and my mum was delighted as she made her wish and we forced this additional piece of pudding into our bellies (absolutely delicious incidentally). There was a mix up with my latte so I had to chase for about 15 minutes after the other coffees arrived but the petit fours it came with were very good despite my sugar overload. At around £35 per head including two cocktails, Ham House offers good food in a good location at a good price. Great for celebrations, business lunches or more casual get-togethers. A welcome, smart addition to the rather mixed end of Piccadilly.

He said: The name’s pretty much the only thing I don’t like about this place. Ham Yard; that only makes me think of abattoirs and gay clubs. But other than that it’s a really good middle of the road option. The room’s done in a bright, updated version of the postmodernism of the late 80s: a lively mishmash of different influences, done in an opulent but not exclusive way. Bucking the trend dominating nearly every London eatery, the portions here are very generous – what you would expect from a country pub, and big enough to silence the greediest, grumpiest uncle. And Ham Yard is set on its own inner courtyard, a spit away from Piccadilly Circus, the hideously busy tourist roundabout which is pretty much a dead zone for anywhere good to eat. On a fine summer’s eve the large terrace outside the restaurant is definitely one of the area’s best hang-outs. Ham Yard does not tick all the boxes, the menu is not especially imaginative or as good as it could be, and the cocktails are far too expensive compared to everything else, but it’s excellent value and a very attractive, convenient spot. 

Shayona, 54-62 Meadow Garth, Neasden, London NW10 8HD

Shayona, 54-62 Meadow Garth, Neasden, London NW10 8HD

www.shayonarestaurants.com

17/08/2014

She said: A find! Shayona is a vegetarian Indian restaurant by the car park opposite the amazing Neasden Temple. The restaurant is a large, simple, modern space. The menu huge! Price great value. Food authentic. If you fancy the lunch buffet instead of a la carte it’s only £8 for all you can eat. We opted for the a la carte, picking a mix of delicious starters and spicy but compulsive vegetable curries. There was a moment of comedy when the sizzling, spicy vegetable tandoori came out in an all-consuming smoke which left everyone coughing and choking (but tasted amazing). We couldn’t try everything we wanted as there was so much choice. There’s an on-site Indian sweet shop and supermarket. This place is amazing. The real thing. Suffice to say Shayona is a place we’ll return to many times. Jai ho!

He said: Shayona reminds you that Indian food is great without any of the fiddly nouvelle trickery on display at all the shmancy Indian restaurants that you find exclusively in those postcodes where high rents mean having to scam your punters into dropping a packet for food they don’t really like or understand. Those places are just like opera or $1000 dollar bottles of wine: everyone’s too chicken to say what they mean. But not at Shayona, which is attached to the biggest Hindu temple in the UK, so the karma and all the shakras are just so. You get your Wow! moment looking around the temple; then you sit down for lunch in a spotless room; receive genuinely courteous and friendly service; gobble tasty, cruelty-free food cooked really well; pay very little for it, and walk out the door already thinking about what else you’ll have on your next visit. Now that’s a no-brainer!

Sketch, Lecture Room, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

Sketch, Lecture Room, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

www.sketch.uk.com

12/08/2014

She said: I had good news and wanted a special place to share and celebrate this good thing. Sketch Lecture Room had been on my radar for a while but his aversion to Sketch, which he thought was pretentious had kept it at bay. However, following his recent conversion after our afternoon tea in Sketch Gallery, and despite his initial push towards another destination, he suddenly favoured the two Michelin Star Lecture Room. In short, I was blown away. Let start with the room: pure luxury at every turn. Rich autumnal colours, velvety sheen, stunning glass dome letting in sunlight which threw further magic across the room. Just exquisite. It could be so easy in such a place for the service to be affected but it was quite the opposite; friendly, attentive and delivered in a way that made you feel so very special. The food the piece de la resistance. No write-up can do it justice – and we were ‘just’ having the Gourmet Rapide: three courses for £40 including coffee and petits fours. The food presentation was a work of art and the substance delicious if a bit petit (but that meant room for all the different bits we were presented with). I liked the recommendations of which order to have various bits of the starters in (they were presented in a set of three) and all the amuse bouche and fresh bread with citrus butter. I loved that when they brought me my sparkling apple juice, they presented the bottle to me like a rare vintage as I nodded politely. The three different desserts were equally appetising and the petit fours original (though I did miss that old crowd pleaser: chocolate). By the time we left the place was almost full. Sketch Lecture Room is a special place. A complete experience.

He said: The Lecture Room is the only place I can remember going to where the 12.5% service charge seems like an absolute bargain. From the second you arrive to the second you leave you feel like a prince, with a battalion of foot soldiers drilled to perfection to make you feel like you’re gliding through the clouds on your magic carpet. And they’re all French! If you ever wondered, on holidays, why the French are such bastards it’s because all the good ones also couldn’t take it there and moved to London instead, most of them working at The Lecture Room. And you can see why: the building is a pretty special place, very French, in its goofy, surreal maxiness; this is what I imagine the restaurant in Michel Gondry’s head looks like. The Lecture room is the more traditional of all the various spaces in this giant eating emporium (the biggest in London?) –more of the neoclassical vibe of the building comes through, but it’s still got some wild touches, like the very Goth bathroom. The tables are very widely spaced, which is good for your plutocratic self-image but also for the champagne trolley (!) to be wheeled-in moments after you sit down. We opted for the mini tasting menu, which meant 8 or so small plates, more than I can remember, but all very visually pleasing and tasty. This is definitely food which has been handled in the kitchen, literally; if this is one of your phobias (my jury is still out on this one) then you might be visualizing germs everywhere, which will impede your ability to appreciate how nice it all looks on the plate. The Lecture Room is a great place for a long, indulgent lunch or dinner. Another pleasant surprise from Sketch!

Kurobuta, 17-20 Kendal Street, London W2 2AW

Kurobuta, 17-20 Kendal Street, London W2 2AW

10/08/2014

www.kurobuta-london.com

She said: A new local to try. We hadn’t gone immediately as the media hype had put me off. Why are the media so maniacal when it comes to finding the latest hip place? It creates a run of trendies to what would otherwise be a lovely neighbourhood spot to have good, innovative food in a local setting. We went during the day to avoid the herd and I was surprised to find a lovely, open contemporary space with fresh cakes sitting on the counter. Mmm, a possible future cake spot I thought. The menu offers a good range of small Japanese/Asian dishes (yes it’s another sharing concept place) but prices are high for what you get. That said, what you get is very, very good. For example, we had a Tuna Sashimi pizza which was amazing but the size of a coaster with a £10 price tag. The Miso grilled Aubergine was outstanding and the Pumpkin Tempura tasty (if salty). The bill came to almost £60 for just four small sharing plates and a cocktail for him. We also took two cakes away at a more reasonable price, with my Yuzu meringue being extremely good. So Kurobuta is a bit of a dilemma; great space and interesting menu but prices a bit silly. I guess that’s why it’s for the trendies rather that for the neighbours in its very neighbourhood setting.

He said: Kurobuta is a really interesting place serving wonderful food prepared with a degree of meticulousness in total contrast with the self-consciously low-fi, hang-out-with-your-mates setting. You can almost hear the chef ruminating: ‘my cooking kicks Michelin in his big, rubbery ass, but I’m not playing the Michelin game’. So cue the alt-rock soundtrack, uncomfortable benches, dishes that come out whenever it suits the kitchen, and Soundgarden posters. I suppose I respect Chef Miyagi for that; I can dig a slacker with skills. And the skills are in full show when the plates start coming out. There’s a whole bunch of dishes here that you couldn’t and wouldn’t get anywhere else: everyone’s surprise hit, carnivores included, is the aubergine in miso, and the sashimi ‘pizza’ is also great, as is the mushroom stew. On a repeat visit later that week I tried the scallops which were killer too. I suppose that Kurobuta is objectively expensive, there’s no way around that, but throw in so many uniquely pleasing dishes, clearly made with the best of everything, and you’ll be walking out thinking ‘good value’ instead. I like.  

The Mirabelle, Grand Hotel, King Edward’s Parade, Eastbourne, BN21 4EQ

The Mirabelle, Grand Hotel, King Edward’s Parade, Eastbourne, BN21 4EQ

02/08/2014

www.grandeastbourne.com/eastbourne-restaurants

She said: Heaven. A real surprise of a gem. We were in Easbourne marching along the South Downs Way for our wedding anniversary (incidentally stunning) and I thought the classic Grand Hotel would be a good place to end our outdoor escapade in style and to toast to making it another year in this fickle world. I believe I outdid myself, even if I say so myself. The approach to the Victorian Grand Hotel is magnificent and has apparently welcomed the likes of Chaplin and Churchill. After changing in the loos from my hiking clothes to a pretty little frock hidden in my backpack, I met him in the beautiful, intimate, old-world dining room that is Mirabelle. From the website photos I was worried it might be a bit OAP but my concerns were unfounded. The second I was seated an aura of calm luxury took over as a pianist tinkered lovely standards in the background. Mirabelle is no doubt an occasion restaurant; two cakes accompanied by singing waiters made an appearance during our stint here, and you can see why. Service, setting and food were outstanding. I cannot find fault with anything. How often can you say that? The salmon starter, wow, the risotto compulsive and the chocolate fondant out-of-this world AND they brought the tea with the dessert as requested. When I wanted an espresso martini, they brought it from the hotel bar – and not a stingy little glass I’ve had in so many an establishment but proper size. I didn’t want to leave and was wishing I had booked a room for the night to allow for more of the same. I’m already trying to think of an excuse to return to Eastbourne; somewhere that wasn’t even on my map until now.

He said: When you live in London it’s easy to think that it’s the only place to eat, and that everyone outside the North Circular is still feasting on Wimpy Burgers and pickled eggs. This is why it never occurred to me that the food might actually be really good at Mirabelle. After hiking for a few hours to get to Eastbourne I was sufficiently famished that even a pickled egg might have tasted good. But Mirabelle really delivered a very good lunch; and I mean very good by any standard, not just by country bumpkin standard. The Grand was around the century before last, before EasyJet, when people holidayed in Britain, and when the likes of Lewis Carroll would decamp to Eastbourne for the summer. The old-school service might have always appealed more to the older crowd. But old people do know a thing or two about what’s good and protecting that in the face of ever-changing fads. In over a hundred years of serving fussy old fogies Mirabelle clearly learned what works. Most impressive of all Mirabelle managed, as requested, to bring coffee at precisely the same time as desert; I can count on one hand the number of restaurants that have managed to maintain that kind of focus all the way through. You should definitely check out Mirabelle if you’re every down there.

Lalibela, 137 Fortess Road, London, NW5 2HR

Lalibela, 137 Fortess Road, London, NW5 2HR

30/07/2014

www.lalibelarestaurant.co.uk

She said: Every time we go to Brick Lane or Greenwich Market we pounce on the Ethiopian food stands. We just love the food which always tastes so fresh and healthy. We’ve tried hard to find a  good Ethiopian restaurant where we can actually sit down and try a wider range of dishes but the last place I walked past in Kings Cross had a sign of the door along the lines of: No knives or other weapons may be brought on to the premise’. So, when I was on my scooter and noticed Lalibela in my peripheral vision when driving through Kentish Town and it looked like it might be a winner, I returned with him to give it a go. Good decision. Lalibela looks like and is an institution. It has been owned by the same family for 20 years. It looks tired inside but in the way an old aunt’s place might, as opposed to any obvious hygiene issues. We were taken up some creaky stairs and seated at a table overlooking the main high street from where I could keep an eye on my scooter. The menu was huge. We were confused by so much choice so opted for the vegetarian combination dish ‘Ye Tsom Beyaynetu’, which was sort of equivalent to an Indian Thali but instead of eating from different bowls, each bowl of food is poured onto a giant plate over a giant ingera (Ethiopian bread – an acquired taste). The result was outstanding and I finished the meal full and ready to come back to try new things. The bill of course was extremely reasonable. I’ve noticed another Ethiopian around the corner from Lalibela so might have to try that next but look forward to coming back for future cravings.

He said: I haven’t googled it, but I’m guessing Lalibela must be one of the longest-established Ethiopians in London. When it first opened the décor must have looked so exotic; nothing much has changed since then, except that the knick-knacks are now a little shabbier. But this is all part of its charm; Lalibela has a really winning family-owned restaurant feel to it; it’s a nice contrast to all the meticulously engineered gastro temples run with the precision of Kaiser Wilhelm’s Imperial Guard. You just know that aunty was in the kitchen cooking up the magic, because it seemed like her nephew taking our orders. Now all this sentimentality wouldn’t amount to much if the food wasn’t also good; which it is. It’s very good; but I confess that I still prefer the market stalls we hit every now and again. So, if I’m totally honest, I probably won’t go back to Lalibela anytime soon, given how many other Ethiopians I want to try. But it’s definitely worth trying.

Andina, 1 Redchurch Street, London, E2 7DJ

Andina, 1 Redchurch Street, London, E2 7DJ

20/07/2014

www.andinalondon.com

She said: We remain in love with Peruvian food since out trek last year. So, Andina was always going to be a target. Close to what was once little Bangladesh but now almost fully morphed into Trendland, Andina has a neighbourhood feel with its corner setting and casual, cramped interior. The menu offered an original, tempting range of dishes, and with this being a weekend, some interesting brunch options. We stuck with the regular section of the menu and ordered a selection of dishes in line with the ever increasing need for restaurants to encourage you to share their petite offerings rather than make a regular portion for one regular person. The food was amazing. The Cerviche dishes were the highlight. The only disappointment was the corn cake which was relatively bland. We did see giant portions of brunch dishes being escorted to different tables if you did want something with more bulk but I must say, there was a real authenticity to Andina which was highly satisfying. On my trip to the loo downstairs I discovered a larger, more open seating area. I think the brightness of upstairs makes the squeeze worth it but good to know there are more seats if cramp if not your thing.

He said: Someday you will read a bad Peruvian review here, but not today. We came close a little while ago when, following a recommendation, we checked out the Peruvian in London Bridge which has been opened much longer that the wave of recent openings. Lucky for us the Chef was late coming that day, so it wasn’t fully opened when we walked in, smelled the horror and walked right out. Peruvian food is all about fresh zingy flavours. So the rank atmosphere of a pub on a Sunday morning before clean-up is not the way to get in the mood. That was a close call. So, in my imagination all Peruvian food remains magic. And Andina was definitely par for the course; lots of delicious ceviche, and things not called ceviche that look like it. This is the kind of place where you want to install yourself for a while and try lots of dishes and guzzle lots of equally interesting mixed drinks. Speaking of which I can’t really recommend the Bloody Andina, which is made with Pisco, the flavour of which is too intense for tomato. And now that the negativity genie is out of the bottle, I will also say that the most expensive thing we ordered was grilled salmon skewers which were nice, but not a patch on all the more typical things. I’m definitely looking forward to going back, this is a great hang out spot, but if I have to pick a favourite Peruvian in London it’s still Ceviche in Soho.

Inamo, 4-12 Regent St, London SW1Y 4PE

Inamo, 4-12 Regent St, London SW1Y 4PE
12/07/2014
www.inamo-stjames.com

She said: This place is cool! There are some who may think it gimmicky and prefer waiters and table cloth but come on: you order from a projected menu on your table, the food is amazing and menu huge and prices reasonable. There’s also a great cocktail list. What’s not to like? The technology doesn’t stop with the menu, you can pick a projected table cloth, add more food as you please and even ask for individual bills which is great for groups of friends who spend ages trying to split the thing at the end of a meal. Food was quick to arrive, though individually so it won’t work for people wanting to have dishes as the same time but I quite liked the gaps which allowed time for digesting. In a world of standard dining, Inamo offers something different without compromising on food. Will definitely be back.

He said: Like an old Uncle that bores everyone with the same anecdotes over, and over, and over, I must have told She a dozen times that if I was ever asked to design the ultimate restaurant I would install call bells to get service at will, especially after desert, when you want the bill and staff is studiously ignoring you in favour of customers still ordering and spending money. Genius, right? Bob Bob Ricard does it, with a button you’re meant to press when you want more champagne; technically you could abuse that to get the bill too. But Inamo goes one better: your table is a whizzy ordering system connected to the kitchen, and you can get everything, and the bill, without having to scan the room and pounce, leopard-like, on a passing waiter. So you can imagine my delight when She booked Inamo for my birthday; not only can I order as many gyoza as I want without talking to a humanoid but evidently, even after years of marital bliss, she still listens to my boring rants! Beyond the gimmick the food is very good, and the imaginative mixed drinks very well priced at about £7 each. What’s not to like?!

Typing Room, Patriot Square, London E2 9NF

Typing Room, Patriot Square, London E2 9NF
www.typingroom.com

12/07/2014

She said: As has already been established, he’s a fan of Atherton so for his birthday lunch I picked Typing Room, a British contemporary restaurant from a former Atherton helmsman. Housed in the former Bethnal Green Town Hall and now a boutique hotel, the Typing Room is a clean, modern space which is nothing much to write home about in terms of setting. We liked the look of the set menu but there was no vegetarian OR fish option which is surprising in this age (even meat eaters have their off-meat days). However, the waiter checked with the chef when we asked about this and he was good enough to offer us a main from the a la cate menu in place of the set main options. I have to say, when all is said and done, the food was perfection. Pretty, yes small portions that goes with good looking food these days but amazing and original flavours. I loved the amuse bouche of a pesto filled profiterole and the fresh, warm bread that came with a delicious marmite spread! I found the cocktail list limited but otherwise the Typing Room lives up to its hype. Yum.

He said: There are still some continentals out there that throw around the old clichés about British cooking. Just like there are still people out there that think the moon landing is a hoax. There’s really no point engaging with that kind of crap, certainly not the moon loonies, but to the sarky continentals I say just go to Atherton-Doppelganger The Typing Room, or any of Atherton’s places, or Dabbous, and so on; and that’s just for the modern British stuff, don’t even get me started on all the British people from other origins cooking up a storm here. You’d be forgiven for thinking this was an Atherton place (it isn’t): Typing Room does that same to-the-minute hyper-seasonal British cooking, similar beautiful presentation, and same focus on making everything on the plate really count and taste like itself. I’m pretty sensitive to portion size, being Mr Greedy Chops, and your first impression is that the plates might be for the petite ladies but, strangely, I actually walked away feeling just right; I think my brain got tricked because everything just tasted so much bigger. This is definitely a good place; my only gripe with it is that it’s so damned far east, you really have to want to go there. Which you should.

Coworth Park, Blacknest Rd, Ascot, Berkshire SL5 7SE

Coworth Park, Blacknest Rd, Ascot, Berkshire SL5 7SE
www.dorchestercollection.com/en/ascot/coworth-park

04/07/2014

She said: He whisked me away for a birthday weekend at this heavenly Dorchester Collection country house. After a day of pampering we were seated in the elegant restaurant at which point he asked if we could move to a table by the window overlooking the grounds (rather than he face a wall), to which they obliged. The atmosphere was clearly one of ‘get-away-from-it-all’ indulgence and the menu offered a wide choice of British fare. I kicked off with a delicious cocktail. The service was friendly and attentive and the food was what I would call reliable: nicely presented, tasty but not wow. I think we would have left with a pleasant, happy stomach if it wasn’t for the endless wait for pudding. It must have been at least 30 minutes and we knew something was remiss when instead of dessert a little scoop of granita masquerading as a chef’s compliments was brought to us which neither of us ate while he chased up puddings. We were offered more alcohol by way of an apology which was a nice enough gesture but which neither of us wanted but were brought anyway. The highlight, despite not having room, was the petit fours which included a heavenly lavender chocolate. I would like to have been presented the selection to enjoy rather than asked to select from a tray without any idea of whether I could have two or ten but nevertheless these were damn good chocolates.

He said: I guess that unless you lived out near there you wouldn’t necessarily go out to Coworth Park for a meal. But you should. Number one it’s set in really nice grounds, number two it’s right next door to national treasure Windsor Great Park, number three it’s a Dorchester gig, so you know that corners will not be cut to deliver the very best. This place ain’t cheap, and there is no one that complains more than a rich person, and no business wants to listen to people complain all day, so the heavy artillery will come out to blow the punters away. We actually ate in two places there: in the restaurant, which was serving an all British menu in a quietly opulent setting. I liked everything, especially the camp French maitre d’; it’s a shame that they stumbled at the last hurdle with a lost desert ticket, but they made up for it, and it gave us more time to chat and enjoy the view over the lawn. We also had a lunch at The Barn, the more informal restaurant that’s rustic in a Belgravia kind of way. I had a caponata there, washed down with a glass of Pimms, out on the terrace overlooking the fields, with the sun beating down from a clear blue sky. There’s no way that meal was going to suck! I’ll definitely be back, hopefully after a nice long hike or ride around Windsor Great Park.

Fischer’s, 50 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 5HN

Fischer’s, 50 Marylebone High Street, London W1U 5HN
01/06/2014
www.fischers.co.uk

She said: Over the years, I’ve watched a series of restaurant incarnations on this spot. My favourite was of course Eat and Two Veg, the superb vegetarian diner now long gone. Three restaurants on and he discovered the latest optimist: Fischer’s was having a soft launch and so booked us a table at the 50% promotional price! Having got excited over previous openings on this site, I was deliberately calm about this new establishment, even with its credentials of being part of that group which lists the Wolseley, Delaunay and Brasserie Zedel in its family. First impressions were good: an elegant, art deco dining space inspired by the Viennese grand cafes with green banquettes, dark furnishings and smoked glass. The restaurant seems split in two halves with the rear having a more atmospheric, opulent feel and the front, well less so. We were seated at the front but at a lovely table away from the hustle. The menu was good with lots of fish and meat (but no vegetarian main dishes). I started with a kasespatzle which is a sort of macaroni cheese, completely delicious and great value. I followed this with a seared sea bass which was a good portion and again very tasty. The side of picked cucumber I ordered complimented this perfectly. As we were about to order dessert we were asked to move tables which he thought was not a big deal but I thought was poor. The table we were moved to was against some sort of station for the waiting staff and next to the main bar and entrance way, so noisy, distracting and a complete change of mood. I proceeded with an order or cherry strudel which was delicious. When we asked for the bill, we were told the meal was on the house because of having to move home in the middle which was a very kind concession…Although ‘karma’ or whatever evened the score when I got home and spent the evening dealing with severe food poisoning. More shockingly, for the first time I can ever remember, he was also poisoned! Maybe the cucumber pickle did it? When he reported it the next day to the manager they did show due concern and attempt to investigate but alas, without ‘samples’ the restaurant findings were inconclusive. So where does this leave me? Well, without the poisoning, this is a great, upmarket local good for a coffee and cake break or the full dining experience. But there are many great places in London where a happy meal has not meant an unhappy stomach so I’m not sure if I’m a gambler…

He said: The last time I got stomach flu was ten years ago in India, after accepting a blessing in some far flung temple which involved drinking from some holy goblet. The second the water touched my lips I knew I was screwed. But even then it wasn’t dodgy food what did me in and, as you can see from the many posts below, there has been no shortage of eating lots of things in lots of different places. Even after nursing She through her countless bouts of Montezuma’s revenge, my trusty stomach has remained stoically and resolutely uncorrupted. Like some badass, cast-iron gutted Florence Nightingale coaching She in her world record 100m dashes to hug the porcelain.  So I will say nothing about Fischer’s other than I’m disappointed. After years of Daily Mail reading well-wishers telling me not to eat boiled bat soup in Guinea, or monkey brain soufflé in Indonesia… To be struck down by some fancy pants place on my own High Street. What a bummer…

Sketch, Gallery, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG

Sketch, Gallery, 9 Conduit Street, London W1S 2XG
24/05/2014
www.sketch.uk.com

She said: I’ve been wanting to try the afternoon tea here for ages but he was principled about afternoon tea meaning you get repeat refills of food and drink. I got him on a good day and booked tea for two at £34 per person (with no refills). The booking was for 90 minutes! On arrival we were given a choice of space between the Glade room, an intimate beautiful, blue-hued saloon-like room or the Martin Creed Gallery which was a vast, colourful bric-a-brac space with mismatched furniture and crockery; we opted for the latter. Service was swift, attentive but friendly. There’s so much to say about afternoon tea at Sketch but in short – it was the best afternoon tea experience I’ve had. Everything was presented just exquisitely and the food was more than enough that if refills had been available it would have been difficult to have any more. The sandwiches were a creative mix including a toasted cheese and pesto which was just delicious, salmon on a tasty flatbread and egg mayonnaise. Normally at afternoon teas, the cakes can be a mixed bag – usually for me too much mousse, biscuit and sponge but not at Sketch. We were offered an amazing mix of beautiful pastries every single one a delicious and different experience from coffee éclair to pistachio macaroon, lemon meringue to opera cake; even the scones which I am not a fan off, were warm and juicy with a fig jam. Although Sketch does not provide refills of different teas, you can get another warm pot of what you were having when it gets cold. However I would say that given my point about being so full with what they offer, and the price, I doubt it would really impact Sketch to offer the true traditional tea which does include full refills; this would most likely end up being goodwill but make Sketch the absolute leader in afternoon teas in the world. It also wouldn’t be a bad idea to add another 30 minutes to their table time as I could feel the staff gently clearing up and moving us on as we edged towards our 90 minutes…That said, it was still a damn good experience. Oh and I almost forgot to mention the famous Sketch loos: individual pods with their own non-musical soundtrack in a pure white loft of a space – unique!

He said: What I like most about Tea at Sketch is the wonderful contrast between the very hip setting, and the very twee, middle England ritual of mini sandwiches and gallons of tea. It’s like Dazed & Confused meets Country Life: total mind blend! But Sketch pulls it off, because the kitchen really put a lot of thought into making what’s on the plate as creative as what’s on the wall. When She would suggest Tea at Sketch, over and over, I always shrugged it off, thinking that it was just another cynical scheme devised by Sketch to squeeze more margin out of its location. I confess I got it wrong. For me Tea is best in the caf of some remote National Trust country house, after a bracing walk through Capability Brown type landscape on a soggy English summer’s day. But in London I rate Sketch as joint tie with Savoy for best Tea. They’re at opposite ends of the scale conceptually (v. trad vs v. hip) but equally matched when it comes to delivery. I’m definitely adding Tea at Sketch to my list of ‘Cool Britannia’ things to do with visitors from remote lands. 

Sagar, 17a Percy Street, London, W1T 1DU

Sagar, 17a Percy Street, London, W1T 1DU

27/04/2014
www.sagarveg.co.uk

She said: I’d been for a long run and was starving. I had been looking up cheap vegetarian restaurants and came across Sagar which looked like a cheap and cheerful South Indian vegetarian restaurant in Fitzrovia so off we went. We were the first ones in for lunch. The space was modern and bright and I was looking forward to my meal. The menu is huge and prices fair. We started with onion bhajia which was a good portion, a little dry but still tasty. To follow, we went for a mix of vegetable dishes. The okra and aubergine were delicious but they got our order of ‘onion sambar’ wrong which was a shame as the standard sambar was essentially a very spicy gravy. We thought garlic rice would be a fluffy fragrant alternative to plain rice but it was a little oily for my liking. My sweet lassi was lovely. Service was relaxed but efficient and it was good to see several more diners arrive as our meal progressed. So overall a mixed bag but for me still a good, easy-going, value option at £32 for two.

He said: Ever since spending quite a lot of time in Dubai (home to the largest South Asian community outside of that continent) we have been scouring London for Indian food of that quality (very high) at that price point (very low, e.g. £4 for an unlimited refills vegetarian thali; good luck finding any thali that refills in London, even at three times that price…).So naturally we ended up at Sagar, which is a very good value, long-established veggie place off trendy(ish) Charlotte Street. The food was pretty nice, though I’m more partial to North Indian cooking and naturally biased against Sagar’s style of cooking. Still, I liked it. But I simply could not get over the fact that the rice was overcooked; I mean that is totally unforgivable for any Indian kitchen; it’s like overcooked pasta in Italy, or soggy Belgian fries – your compatriots would never look you in the eye again. Would they dare send that out to their mother? And also the wrong sambar came out; I really am good and loving to my fellow man, giving everyone the benefit of the doubt, but we were the first and only people in the restaurant when we gave our pretty straightforward order. By all means go, I will again, but beware!

Marani, 54 Curzon Street, London W1J 8PG

Marani, 54 Curzon Street, London W1J 8PG

26/04/2014

www.maranilondon.co.uk

She said: He loves Georgian food. I think we’ve been to every Georgian in London so when Marani opened a short walk from us we didn’t waste any time. This is the first ‘posh’ Georgian we’ve visited. I’ll get price out of the way up front: Marani is not cheap. It’s clearly geared to the Mayfair set or a special occasion/client account dining, although there is a set price lunch menu. But I loved it. Every bit. There are two dining rooms: a homely ground floor with contemporary décor mixed with beautiful Georgian artwork; and a first floor classic, more formal dining room with gorgeous original features and a chandelier made from decanters. As soon as we arrived, the service was friendly and attentive. As he has spent time in Georgia many moons ago, I enjoyed his nostalgic ordering and eating! It was difficult deciding what to order from such a great choice of a la carte dishes and everything we chose tasted fresh and delicious. This included salmon in a juicy plum sauce with creamy chestnuts and comforting lobio which melted in the mouth. Even the cocktails were amazing. While we were eating, we chatted to a couple a few tables away who turned out to be the owners. They were wonderful hosts and even sent us complimentary drinks so that we could try a local favourite, which again was amazing. The staff showed us around the place and every second of the experience was just perfect. We will definitely return – it’s just too good not to.

He said: when I heard that a new Georgian had opened in Mayfair I half expected that it would be some tacky, overpriced monstrosity designed to fleece local oiligarchs.  How nice to be proved wrong [again, she might say]! The design is a really effective, young and contemporary twist on traditional Georgia. Same for the cocktail list which remixes the usual list with Georgian ingredients, like the local moonshine ‘cha cha’. The menu was pleasingly extensive, listing a number of different regional specialties, and so evocative that it was genuinely difficult making a choice. And it’s when the food hits the table that Marani’s USP shines through: Georgian cooking uses a lot of strong aromatics, like fenugreek, and rich flavours like walnut, or plum, and it’s a tricky thing to balance everything just right for a western palate. Some restaurants, like Colchis, chicken-out by producing a fusion of Georgian and European. But the kitchen at Marani has clearly put a lot of thought into each dish, tweaking the levels so that the nature and quality of each ingredient is allowed to shine in genuine Georgian classics. In some cases I might have liked a little more intensity, like with the bean dish lobio, or the adjika a fiery condiment like a hot chutney designed to set the roof on fire, whereas Marani’s isn’t quite hot enough. But that’s personal taste and I still loved every last bite. Some dishes may seem expensive on their own, like khacha puri or lobio which are essentially side dishes but priced like mains. But it evens-out, mostly, if you order Georgian style, with everything to share. Marani is not cheap, but definitely worth it. I’m looking forward to going back again and again and working my way through the menu.

Chiltern Firehouse, Chiltern Street, London W1U 7PA

Chiltern Firehouse, Chiltern Street, London W1U 7PA

14/04/2014

http://www.chilternfirehouse.com/

She said: You can’t open a magazine without Chiltern Firehouse being raved about. When our old Fire brigade was turned into ‘the place to be’ and every celebrity seemed to have passed through in its first week, I was apprehensive about booking this latest local addition. But for the greater good of Adventures in Scoffing I called, booked the first table available (a month away), put on a pretty frock and heels and walked down the road and into this now unrecognisable, gorgeous building. I was expecting pretension, affected service and food, being given the ‘oh, you’re nobody’ table and feeling like a spectator at someone else’s party. So I was delighted and elated to find that from the moment I booked to bidding the uniformed doorman good night, Chiltern Firehouse was absolutely lovely. Service was friendly, efficient and professional. The food was original, good portions and reasonably priced for such a joint (£100 for two including drinks). The table we were given was a good one, at the heart of the main eating area, with cosy cushioned corner seating. The room itself was interesting. For me, the rustic-cum-industrial feel didn’t quite do it in the glamour stakes. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a bright, smart, comfortable room and I love that it avoids the deafening chatter that so many spaces generate whilst still being buzzy but the ceiling looked like exposed insulation and it had a refurbished stable feel. But that’s probably just me. More importantly  the food. All the reviews go on about the crab donuts; the praise is well deserved. My mushroom and courgette risotto was a deep, electrifying green and just amazing. The dark chocolate tart to die for. I even chose well in the cocktail department with a sweet, citrus martini. Yes there were a few ‘names’ dining but all very understated and looking around, it was nice to see a mix of people enjoying a Monday night out. I did ponder why I had not seen any of these faces in my neighbourhood and how many were destination diners versus locals. But looking forward to coming back when the weather warms up to enjoy the stunning outdoor, enclosed terrace.

He said: Objectively there is nothing to dislike about the Firehouse, starting with the nicest bouncer imaginable and finishing with a very reasonable bill given, the quality and the location. To pick-off a few negatives [since there’s plenty of gushing praise out there anyways] the bar area is a little cramped, and the entrance into the dining room is an awkward dog-leg leaving you unsure whether to turn right or left. Otherwise it’s pretty much all good. The handsome design cleverly hints at the building’s past (ceiling detail made of chopped-up firehose, etc.) and makes the room feel open, like an extension of the fantastic outside terrace which will definitely be the place for sundowners this summer. And there’s a whole variety of tables to suit every need and personality quirk, including a long counter along the open kitchen for the Masterchef fanatics, and a row of actual tables overlooking the magic a little distance away for the more sensible foodies [where I will book next] who want the buzz of the kitchen but also to talk to each other. The food is faultless, as you’d expect of top perro Nuno Mendes, ditto the cocktails, and the service is very efficient without being hurried: no-one was nudging us to turn-over the table at the end. So why did I leave silently ruminating, as if solving quadratic equations in my head? I’ve never been to a restaurant before where I so clearly got the vibe that this was the place to be; everyone there obviously knew it too. Firehouse is a spit away from where I’ve lived for 10 years, but it’s so slick, and the hipness so palpable that I felt thousands of miles away: it felt much more powerhouse L.A. than laid-back Marylebone. But that shouldn’t stop you booking: this place is great. 

Abu Zaad, 128 Edgware Road, London W2 2DZ

Abu Zaad, 128 Edgware Road, London W2 2DZ

13/04/2014

 www.abuzaad.co.uk

She said: Exhausted from watching amazing people do amazing things in the London Marathon, I was craving Middle Eastern food and wanted to wander the Edgware Road and let inspiration hit. The call came from Abu Zaad, a Syrian, casual restaurant that proved to be authentic in every way. We opted for five fibre-heavy dishes, all very good including a juicy falafel, hara isbah (a lentil, crispy bread and pasta concoction) and foul modamas (beans in a yoghurt sauce). A fresh melon juice was the perfect accompaniment. The menu had a whole lot more that I wanted to try and will come back for from wraps to fish and rice dishes. Service was efficient, great value at £27 for two and we were even given some lovely complimentary baklava with our bill. Edgware Road is full of Middle Eastern options but Abu Zaad seems like the one to bank on for quality all-round.

He said: Abu Zaad is the real deal. Sit down, and take in the atmosphere, the Arabic videos pumping from the TV on the wall, the smell of shisha drifting-in from outside. A minute or two after sitting down, I got this very pleasant feeling of wow, we could be in Beirut, or the Gulf, or anywhere in the Middle East; certainly not 5 minutes walk from Marble Arch! It’s not essential, but I do like when that happens in a restaurant. We ordered and I couldn’t wait for the food to come, reciting silent prayers that it would match the atmosphere. It came swiftly, as food always does in Middle Eastern restaurant, and it did not disappoint. We found a good local! I was so happy tucking into the various usual bit and bobs. It is by no means the most sophisticated or best food of its kind; but it’s nice home-style food, well-made, delivered with authentic warmth, and incredibly good value: you will be hard-pressed to spend more than 4 pounds per veggie mezze. Score!

Ergon, 19 Picton Place, London W1U 1BP

Ergon, 19 Picton Place, London W1U 1BP

30/03/2014

www.ergonproducts.gr

She said: His mum was in town and we wanted somewhere close as she’d hurt her ankle. We opted for Ergon, a relatively new Greek restaurant just off the crazy, tourist-ridden St. James Street. Ergon has two floors with a deli in the basement and the restaurant at ground level. The space is modern and bright and when we went, busy but not noisy. The menu was great; lots of choice of small, creative plates so we ordered a mix of seven. The food didn’t disappoint, every dish was full of flavour including juicy grilled shrimps, oozing cheese pies, a creamy goats cheese and lentil salad and a roasted aubergine spread that you wanted to keep scooping up. But there is a but…The portions. For £16 I was expecting our salmon to be a main course and not the single, tiny (though tasty) strip that sat lonely on the plate. For £13 I think we got 6-8 shrimp; and cheekily they charge £3 for bread (whereas half a mile down the road any Middle Eastern restaurant on Edgware Road will include a bucket of bread with every order. Shame really as Ergon is a lovely place with great food. There are reasonably priced mezzes on the menu so I would still recommend Ergon but maybe stick with the veggie options. 

He said: The Real Greek did a hell of a lot to upgrade the knackered image of Greek food this side of the Balkans, and Ergon has now raised the game a few more notches. The only things Greek here you can either eat or drink. No balalaikas nailed to the wall, or blue-and-white stripy anything. From the outside you can’t really tell what you’re getting yourself into – it just looks like a nice, inviting, modern joint. So I walked in with no expectations, but I walked out really impressed. The food had the fresh, healthy zing of classic Mediterranean food, which Ergon delivered with a modern twist. And the drinks were really impressive too, like the excellent Rouzo cooler, and the martini made with grapa. I liked every dish and would gladly go back again and again. The only false note was that when ordering a dip, like the delicious roasted aubergine, bread is charged separately for an extra £3. If you’re going to charge for it then the bread had better be the best damned bread, which this definitely was not. Otherwise it comes across very Ryanair, really desperate and stingy. So just include it and charge more for each plate. Pricing is maybe a touch high, but this is W1 and the quality is very high. Ergon’s a hit with me.